Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
One more thing. I have absolutely no regard for people who look down on others. It shows that they dont acknowledge diversity in the world is inevitable and in fact crucial for society to function. Not knowing this is plain foolishness and narcissism.
People who are pretentious are totally off too.... So stop being like tht in front of me. I dont appreciate or get impressed one bit.
People who are pretentious are totally off too.... So stop being like tht in front of me. I dont appreciate or get impressed one bit.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Ive barely started out on life and i feel like giving up already. I dont wna try anymore, i dont wna care anymore... OhdearGod, why arent you here like you promised? :(
Im so sick of the life im living now, of the situations i am in... I hate living the consequential life from past mistakes. I hate being stupid. And i hate that i know im inadequate......
Im so sick of the life im living now, of the situations i am in... I hate living the consequential life from past mistakes. I hate being stupid. And i hate that i know im inadequate......
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Was watching sing-off which is a brillant singing contest!!very awesome talent (though they shldnt shout so much >.<). One grp lost and did one last perf before they left. It was a very gd perf not only bcos it was v diversified and showcased their talent amazingly; they sang w all their hearts, were smiling so brightly and jst enjoying themselves so much. I started recalling past talent shows i watched and realised tt
The best performance is one's swan performance after elimination.
The only reason i cld come up w is bcos they know tht they hv nth to lose..even if they screw up or wtv. And i think this shld be sth tt we live by.. Living by this rule reminds us tt naked we come, naked we leave..whatever we do, maybe we'd face consequences..but its only in the short term!
By reminding ourselves daily tt we have nth to lose, we'd dare to test the unknown and realise more than the mundane
The best performance is one's swan performance after elimination.
The only reason i cld come up w is bcos they know tht they hv nth to lose..even if they screw up or wtv. And i think this shld be sth tt we live by.. Living by this rule reminds us tt naked we come, naked we leave..whatever we do, maybe we'd face consequences..but its only in the short term!
By reminding ourselves daily tt we have nth to lose, we'd dare to test the unknown and realise more than the mundane
Friday, January 13, 2012
This was what i was thinking.......at janell's trackers inaugural concert thing just now.
Firstly, i felt tt the acoustics of the room was amazing or tht the peoples concerted voices were exceptionally wonderful sounding.
Secondly, i looked ard and saw broken but 'made conquerors in God's power' ppl. It led me to think abt rj where everyone is really smart and capable. So great are their talents and personal achievements tt they dont see a need for God in their lives. Then my thoughts drifted to the rj mornings; every tues and thurs, students who were in-the-knowledge-of AND willing wld go to a lecture theatre (tht had a piano) and spent 30min before assembly worshipping God and listening t a short sharing by an appointed person. Then wed mornings were prayer sessions.
It wasnt easy. We used the LTs wo anyone knowing (except permission frm someone in authority, cant rmb)..so we ran the risk of being found out and halted of our activities (secular sch). We had a super old piano which was kinda off key.we also lacked pianists..so we sang acapella most of the time or hv someone play e guitar . Sometimes the transparency machine was moved to another LT so we had to furiously copy down the lyrics on the whiteboard before singing. Also, we had t be at the assembly area by the bell, 7.40am. If we started late, we'd end late .:. All 30 or so of us wld hv to RUNNNN t the flagraising place like hoardes of clumsy elephants haha. (A personal struggle was tt i didnt hv any gd friends thr even though i was one of the leaders. Ok one of my best friends also went but we kinda gt sian abt gng cos it was jst us two)
The cool thing was tt i was one of the appointed persons to conduct these sessions-as i mentioned jst now. Suddenly memories of all the prep work (which i distinctly rmb tt i shabbily and hastily prepared haha) flooded in; i chose songs according to what i listened in church.. Id sit down, think t myself tt i need t pick 2-3 songs, search for whichever ones tt came t mind thn print them.
Regarding the short sharing, id think back abt my days and just share wtv i felt like sharing LOL.... All i rmb is tt it wld prob be sth i was struggling w, then end off w an encouragement. Sometimes id org prayers too, just so i didnt need t share.. And prayer pters wld be those v vague general ones. But you know wht?
(as i was thinking abt this just now, i was so amazed at how confident i was HHA. I cld stand in front of a whole LT leading a big bunch of not normal ppl, but RAFFLESIANS-the future leaders of sg, in singing and in sharing God inspired proses.)
The turnout was always sizeable. Maybe 30-50... Some ppl come in grps, small or big, some came alone. But the ppl kept coming. The singspiration was rly encouraging, tt i rmb. It was rly sincere and loud and real. During sharings, ppl listended intently. And during prayer, i saw random ppl coming tgt to form grps and pray for one another. Oh and on natl day celebs, we invited ppl to come to sch at 650am; we'd meet at the rj flagpoles for short session of singing then prayer for the sch and nation. As i was facilitating in j2, i rmb looking ard at 730, 10min before assembly.. The area ard the flagpoles was like...blotched with many small circles and bowed heads. Then the rest of the sch are jst at their usual assembly area stoning and waiting for marikitaya to start. We were like outrightly claiming we are christians to the whole world jst by doing tt la. Ok usually we'd be scared t be judged all rgt..but because of our sheer size, i felt so proud t be part of such a movement.
Ok im ttly digressing but i dno what my pt is also. Haha! But this whole episode of my life was TTLY erased out of my memory, no-im just tt forgetful, till this evening so i thought of penning it down.
And also, a thought came t mind : tht i shld go back to rj for those morning sessions and help out where i can..... But i dno if its sth tt i SHLD do or sth tt i wna do for fame or sth. Lol.
Firstly, i felt tt the acoustics of the room was amazing or tht the peoples concerted voices were exceptionally wonderful sounding.
Secondly, i looked ard and saw broken but 'made conquerors in God's power' ppl. It led me to think abt rj where everyone is really smart and capable. So great are their talents and personal achievements tt they dont see a need for God in their lives. Then my thoughts drifted to the rj mornings; every tues and thurs, students who were in-the-knowledge-of AND willing wld go to a lecture theatre (tht had a piano) and spent 30min before assembly worshipping God and listening t a short sharing by an appointed person. Then wed mornings were prayer sessions.
It wasnt easy. We used the LTs wo anyone knowing (except permission frm someone in authority, cant rmb)..so we ran the risk of being found out and halted of our activities (secular sch). We had a super old piano which was kinda off key.we also lacked pianists..so we sang acapella most of the time or hv someone play e guitar . Sometimes the transparency machine was moved to another LT so we had to furiously copy down the lyrics on the whiteboard before singing. Also, we had t be at the assembly area by the bell, 7.40am. If we started late, we'd end late .:. All 30 or so of us wld hv to RUNNNN t the flagraising place like hoardes of clumsy elephants haha. (A personal struggle was tt i didnt hv any gd friends thr even though i was one of the leaders. Ok one of my best friends also went but we kinda gt sian abt gng cos it was jst us two)
The cool thing was tt i was one of the appointed persons to conduct these sessions-as i mentioned jst now. Suddenly memories of all the prep work (which i distinctly rmb tt i shabbily and hastily prepared haha) flooded in; i chose songs according to what i listened in church.. Id sit down, think t myself tt i need t pick 2-3 songs, search for whichever ones tt came t mind thn print them.
Regarding the short sharing, id think back abt my days and just share wtv i felt like sharing LOL.... All i rmb is tt it wld prob be sth i was struggling w, then end off w an encouragement. Sometimes id org prayers too, just so i didnt need t share.. And prayer pters wld be those v vague general ones. But you know wht?
(as i was thinking abt this just now, i was so amazed at how confident i was HHA. I cld stand in front of a whole LT leading a big bunch of not normal ppl, but RAFFLESIANS-the future leaders of sg, in singing and in sharing God inspired proses.)
The turnout was always sizeable. Maybe 30-50... Some ppl come in grps, small or big, some came alone. But the ppl kept coming. The singspiration was rly encouraging, tt i rmb. It was rly sincere and loud and real. During sharings, ppl listended intently. And during prayer, i saw random ppl coming tgt to form grps and pray for one another. Oh and on natl day celebs, we invited ppl to come to sch at 650am; we'd meet at the rj flagpoles for short session of singing then prayer for the sch and nation. As i was facilitating in j2, i rmb looking ard at 730, 10min before assembly.. The area ard the flagpoles was like...blotched with many small circles and bowed heads. Then the rest of the sch are jst at their usual assembly area stoning and waiting for marikitaya to start. We were like outrightly claiming we are christians to the whole world jst by doing tt la. Ok usually we'd be scared t be judged all rgt..but because of our sheer size, i felt so proud t be part of such a movement.
Ok im ttly digressing but i dno what my pt is also. Haha! But this whole episode of my life was TTLY erased out of my memory, no-im just tt forgetful, till this evening so i thought of penning it down.
And also, a thought came t mind : tht i shld go back to rj for those morning sessions and help out where i can..... But i dno if its sth tt i SHLD do or sth tt i wna do for fame or sth. Lol.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Haha , i spent last year's new year countdown at church. When the sermon was disrupted in anticipation of the new year, i rmb grabbing janells arm and telling her tt i was actly v scared to start the new year; my 2010 wasnt great, but it was good and tt was good enough for 365; i teared uncontrollably and said," im scared that 2011 wldnt be as good as 2010".
And yea indeed the year proved my predictations right... Maybe because of the 'higher set' expectations, i didnt put as much emphasis into ushering the new year.. So i spent my first moments of the year in a lift- JUST SAYING HAHA. just had a couple of friends over, watched the fireworks frm a less than awesome view , spent the night stoning/talking rubbish.. Basically, just treating it like any other day of having friends over and chilling out.. Yeah
And yea indeed the year proved my predictations right... Maybe because of the 'higher set' expectations, i didnt put as much emphasis into ushering the new year.. So i spent my first moments of the year in a lift- JUST SAYING HAHA. just had a couple of friends over, watched the fireworks frm a less than awesome view , spent the night stoning/talking rubbish.. Basically, just treating it like any other day of having friends over and chilling out.. Yeah
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