it's a conscious decision

“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.”
~Osho

i agree with this so much. and that's why i had to let go of so many people impt in my life...

if youre seeing this , i apologise for what i said. you should just tell me to stop talking like that instead of disappearing off in anger... stop doing this disappearing act =/

before leaving for melb, i had a conversation with a friend. she was saying that she did not want anybody in her life yet because she doesnt want to drag anyone else into her mess. it made perfect sense to me because this is the situation playing out in my life .

ughhhh. :((( ok i cant go on. this waiting game is too much for me to take

hey can i say one more thing. remember the time you asked me about this question why i liked you and i couldnt give you an answer you wanted to hear?

no
you cldnt even give me an ans ha ha
i read this article. wanted to share with you but i don't know where it has gone to
but the takeaway is
love is a simple feeling
it doesn't really have to be justified with reasons which to an extent i believe mine is
i just want to see you happy
"and more than anything, i want to be the cause of it"

yeah but feelings need to be justified
i believe that its simple
but it shld be justified
more than anything , a rship is a commitment
and the desire to want to commit to this person
just now, otw down in the lift, this old couple shuffled in . and the lady was wearing grandma clothes and specs and looking wrinkly .and i looked at the old man with his cane and baggy grandpa clothes and cldnt uds why they still hung on to each other
but she slowly rotated in her axis to face him and they two just stoned in each other's directinos
then they shuffled out tgt slowly . and it made me realise that even if they dont have love anymore
they committed themselves so long ago to be in each other's lives and now ,its a 'i cannot live without her' kind of situation and not a 'i want to live with her'

i rmb hearing someone's vows that was similar to that . and thinking that everyone should be given the opportunity to experience as such

"i was thinking
why is so much money put into humanitarian organizations
yet the problem is not  being solved
i was thinking along the lines of such organizations working like a business
always seeking to do things the efficient way
and the time spent to seek the efficient way always takes so long
and while the time is being used up to do things the efficient way
there are people dying
maybe humanitarian organizations need to be more practical instead of doing things in what a organization nowadays are working in"

something blatant yet never occurred to the mind till presented.

anywayz, i dreamt that ahma surprised me by appearing by my bedside when i woke up this morning. then .i asked her to cook eggs for me . lolllllll. and her trick was : to add water .