hi peeps! heh nvr been updating for an ultra long time.. sorry. well, i dun wanna elaborate on tiffany's history.it'll be even more boring than history class i assure u guys. anyway i'll prob take abt 5hrs to complete it. hmm, ytd i went the international prayer conference held at barker. it was really really good =) went w ahgong sam,daniel, chris, shern and bev. it was really eventful man.. the best 'adult service' i've ever had. n i learnt than daniel is actually.. actually quite mature? and he can actually communicate w ahgong! this ipc is more for adults.. n dan's actually going.. wow. the power of God. who ever thot this cheeky guy can be so serious. well, i dunno him well. so i was quite shocked, in a happy way. at 1st, we were feeling pretty out of place.. feeling super xtra.. but i know somebody more poor thing. was all alone. haha. anyway we were fidgeting A LOT. we were even passing sweets ard.. sheesh. haha..we felt that we were too young to be in sucha 'grand' place. well, that's wat i thot abt myself. but as God says, nobody is too young to know Him. soon, it started and we started off w so many songs. those adult-ish type.

but there was this really jumpy song! really nice.. all of us [or most of us] starteds waying and all.. haha.. very cute.i like the beat!

when the speaker came, i had that "oh-man-it's-sermon-time" feeling. i was like ready to leave to e toilet 1/2 way.shern asked me to go toilet after the sermon. so at that point of time, we all[e 3 girls] planned to go toilet after the sermon. the pastor, bishop violet fisher i think, started off with some intro. n pple were laughing and all. n i was juz there, not knowing wat the heck the joke was abt. but as she went on.. she started off quite softly.. then gradually going louder and louder. soon, she's shouting.. w her hands swinging ard. showing lots of action. it's really good. n there's one thing i love abt her. she doesnt repeat herself!! that's wat i totally love her abt. they are some pastors that say one sentence n elaborate on it for 10min.. to only go to the next point after 20 min. this pastor juz keeps going on and on.. going from
one point to another. n when she pauses, she gives us a few seconds to reflect on wat she juz said. n there's one part that really keeps me listening. if i dont listen or juz stone for a few moments, i'll lose track of wat she's saying. so i try to
keep focus for the whole time. well, it's a confirm case wont get bored juz listening to her. but i saw this guy slping. no comments to that. haha.. ytd's topic was abt "restoring the wesleyan flame". n, seeing that this lady, so true to God.. still
believing in Him after 40 plus yrs really..really..err touch me. i mean, i dun even know whether she has ever doubted God or smth lor.. juz by the way u see her speak, u really can feel that...it's a strange feeling. n after that when we're praying, ahgong kneeled. dan stood up and raised his hands. and after a while, bev stood. there was this feeling in me to juz stand up n start singing. but i juz like sat la. almost cried too. i couldnt really understand wat bishop fisher was saying.. but i really was so touched. ok my vocab is pretty limited. but i juz started tearing again. this flame of this lady has been burning for so long. yet it still glows for Him. it's really very touching.

ok i juz feel like elaborating on those few phrases i've said..

shern's tagboard : gosh satan is really condemning me alot. i really really full trust God.. but yet he still comes to me and keeps making me doubt God.. being the pessimistic me, i chose to kinda absorb it.. sigh..

i didnt really trust and believe in God during my pri sch days. i used to be a girl that juz goes to church every sun. juz sitting down there listening to the teachers preach abt God's love. i really pity them. they've been trying for a really long time to think abt all sorts of ways to keep our attention and juz listen abt His word. but yet we still juz sit down there and shake leg. i mean, that's wat i really see. i duno whether e kids really listen. but i did look up to the teachers and try to listen. but i still didnt care. then came my 1st teenage yr.. n my 1st 'youth' camp. aiyah it was combined la.. but who cares. haha.. i suddenly had this over whelming feeling for e 1st time. n that's when my walk w God grew. it was a really great experience for me.. but when i look ard, i see pple feeling the presence of God more. at that point of time, i felt really inferior. but i realised that we shld take things 1 step at a time. shld not rush into things. coz then, we might miss out the insignificant things beside us that can mean so much.


rach daddy: yup, here's wat i wanted to tell u.. u know wat.. i might be asking too much of God. but if that story abt the guy wanting to commit suicide, n the pastor calling e wrong number, really happened to me.. [ok maybe not e same situation. but like if God really showed that He's true] then i only might be able to really believe that His's true.

i already do believe that God's real. but when i saw this chi drama abt this grp of pple worshipping this golden calf w this believe that if they really believe, they wld become rich. so they started chopping that golden calf and was trying to gold inside it. but after a while, they realised that they have been tricked. this golden calf god thing was fake. this grp of men pretended that that calf was a god so that they could take the villagers offerings of food. then i started thinking abt God. some pple have done so much for God. in my way, i've prayed to Him. cried out to Him n etc. but when we die, and dont go to heaven, n realise that GOd is fake, wat wld happen? then i cried. i mean, i felt like the world greatest fool to think that of God. i began scolding myself. n became really quiet for e next few days. i really wanted God to punish me. i had created
the worst sin in my life. not believing God is true. and even doubt that we're juz worshipping jus some guy called God, Jesus CHrist.but that was in the past. that juz is the negative and pessimistic side of me.

on the positive side of me, i'm really happy that i've been born into this family where i've been brought to GOd. i'm really happy that i could get into MG..and didnt get into SC, which is not a christian sch. i'm really glad that i'm in AMC where i've really true frens there. i even wanted to transfer to fairfield. i felt that fairfield pple are more practical n they are more holy that MG pple. also, my studies, not really up to standard of MG. i dont really understand MG gals.. MGS is one of the few schs that are known as the holy sch. that's great, but why dont the quality of holiness show thru the girls? anyway, back to the point. hmm... knowing God is a feeling that really makes me so..so..energetic. i duno where that's my personiality that i'm a person that likes to jump and jump n starts acting retarded. but after a really good worship or sermon, i wld feel so much more happier and juz jump ard? yar.. juz start being hyper. ytd's grp of pple can relate to that.we were yar, juz hyper. actually on the way back home in shern's car, i wished that the ride wld be longer.. then we can sing our way home. like the trip back from malaysia after church camp! it was really nice. it gives a wonderful feeling juz worshipping God. coz u know that ur praying and lifting up ur voices and hands, to somebody that's true. i like listening to testimonials.. esp those of the older pple. it really touches me n makes me believe in God more.

but the devil juz keep coming back to haunt me and juz... keep giving doubts to me abt God. i've always tried to brush aside the feeling. but i juz cant stop thinking abt it. ytd during ipc, ahgong actually asked me to go to barker again at 8am to go for the conference again. i was pretty shocked coz he didnt ask shern and bev.. and i was thinking "my doubts in GOd really shows thru me meh? i dun even say anything abt my doubts" oh well, i really duno wat's w me. stop devil juz keeps pestering me. God, why cant u juz shut Him out of my life. i mean, i can juz go on and on abt how great GOd is. how He really saves and all. but there's this little side of me that jus thinks otherwise. and after a while, that little side of me grows. then i'll start stoning. i really hate it when pple ard me starts praising GOd and feels so happy. while i'm juz next to them juz clapping and singing. stop it tiff. it's only between u and God. that a phrase i was really touched by christine. when i asked her smth [kinda personal] she juz paused and juz replied that "it's only between u and God, tiff." it was so.. wow.


i really thank God for all the frens He has given me. oh yea, i juz roll of thunder hear my cry. i found the part where cassie wrote a whole //graph abt.. T.J. it is quite touching. after reading that 2nd last //graph, i juz thot abt eunice.i finally found the words to say wat i've been wanting to say abt my feelings for eunice. gonna write it down. but got the inspiration frm roll of thunder... heeearr my crrrrrry

eunice: I was nvr close to eunice. but she had always been there, a part of me, a part of my life, juz being there like the rain, trees and everything around..n i had thot that she always wld be. yet the rain n trees wld all pass one day. the trees wld wither one day. i knew and understood that.

it really was so sad when i read that TJ's gonna die. it was sad when TJ said that stacey was his one and only true fren. ok why am i talking like that hahaa

ok it feels good letting it all out. i dun really think anybody's reading until here. i'm really lawsaw and i know that. but there's nth bad eh? my lit wld be good =) but i dunno whether i shld take lit. coz during my 1st lit mid yr exam, i was at a lost as to think of wat to write. but as soon as i got my inspiration, i started writing and writing. but again, my vocab is really weak. as wat many teachers say. i know that myself. so pple, plz, when i ask u guys wat a cheem word u juz said means,
plz tell me ok! i really wanna strengthen my eng. and muz start preparing for eng o level. ok out of point.

well, if u guys wanna share anything w me, my email's tiffy_bubblespuff@hotmail ok? i wld really really appreciate it if ur juz tell me abt GOd or wateva la.. i wldnt ridicule or anything. but i really really love reading testimonials abt GOd.aiyah i wldnt mind anything and wateva u guys email me. anything relevant or wateva also can. hahaha.. i sided track a lot.n, it's so fun receiving emails! =X hehee..

oh yar!! abt IPC. INTERNATIONAL PRAYER CONFERENCE. there's a Youth Rally this friday nite[18/6] from 7.30-10. abt there la.shld try and make it! i think it wld be very good. ok i know it'll be! btw, it's at barker.. duno which part.

hahahhaa reminds me.. when dan and i wanted to sit upstairs, we started looking ard for a staircase.. then we walk here and there.. and when we opened some curtains, we saw the stage.. hehee.. we were backstage!! hahahhahaa.. super funny man! imagine if we had actually jumped thru the curtains and shout: we've finally found it! hahahhahaha.. gosh. i think i'm gonna start laughing whenever i see a curtain. ok that's all for today man.. my fingers still can go on leh.. wheee.. typing spree.anyway, sorry abt not for updating for super long. heh.. this ultra long entry shld make up for it? =)

happy days await us! =X bleh. sch's starting soon.