3/11/04

I’m feeling SOOO tired. It seems that I’ve been studying 5 chpts of History and am taking a short break. I’m feeling so densed! Btw, I didn’t like study at all ah.

Sigh, I miss 2s. I didn't know who my gd friends were in 2S…ok, actually I did. It’s the big lot of u all. But everybody has at least 1 or 2 closer friends. Since the beginning of the yr, I’ve been looking for u guys. I know deep down that there really is SOMEBODY out there…but I really couldn’t make out who it is. It’s pretty sad. God only showed me who u guys are at the end of the yr.. sigh, why did I look past u 2? Why didn’t I put u in my mind as one of them? Probably because of the super big differences we have character, personality, and interests. Why didn’t God lead me to u guys earlier? He has a really good sense of humour as to how i gotta know u all more.

It was the 1st day of school after exams and I was feeling very tired. I was alone so U prob pitied me n accompanied me. Then, YOU came. [btw, I shan’t disclose your names. I scared later u scold me. Or probably u don’t want pple to know u have me as ur close fren hahaha] I don’t remember what actually we talked abt but I remember that it entertained me. The 3 of us became ‘inseparable’. Haha note the ""s ah… I know I always come up with really stupid reasons for not wanting to follow either of u to the toilet. The toilet is like so far away!
Come to think about it, I can’t imagine myself being called one of u guys! I don’t mean anything bad. Just that, we are like worlds apart. Most common debate: GB vs Guides. Haha of coz GB always win since guides is..bori..is fun! FUN. Our friendship always remind me of what somebody told me…

There were a group of girls that were always together, during free periods, lunch breaks etc. It was a mixture of sports girls, guai kias, prefects, slackers,etc. however, they never got into conflicts and could get along very well .

"Can go out tomorrow? Watch grudge!"
"Eh, I can’t leh… got training. Heh, sorry ah!"
"Oh… never mind! It’s ok, another time then =)"
And it’s not only once. I’m really sorry for rejecting u guys so many times. Can’t help it if X is hardworking =D

"tiff, free to go kap today?"
"Erm, today is Friday… i…"
"oh ya, got training right…"
I just find it very amusing. Whenever I think about these kinda situations,it always makes me smile. I mean, who wldnt…ok maybe those non tiff pple. It’s like, u guys actually rmb my trg days! Though u all are like antiX…or rather anti running haha..

oh yes! I still rmbed the first and last outing we had together! Hahaha, it was SUPER FUNNY! I can’t describe how we 3 managed to go out alone…heehee. I'll get killed. Rmb how stone and sad we were after e 3 guys talked to us? N we kept trying to go back to find them! How exciting. JUST THAT we were so sian after that. Walk here n there…leg pain sia! Luckily we found annabelle and celestine. It was fun going out with u guys. It was even my 1st time going to the skate park and watch pple skate. Hurry! When are we going to east coast park to build sandcastles..??!?

Today we had track trg. Ok track training sounds weird. I forgot the exact name… oh yea! Speed workout. Anyway, though it was only 4 * 400m, I almost died anyway. 1.38, 1.35, 1.39, 1.33. Only reason I’m writing my timings are so that if Mr Ng wants to see our log bks, I can just refer from here. It was SORCHING HOT. Like the sun moved 10cm nearer to Earth. Good thing the sun moved another 20cm nearer AFTER we finished training.
Sigh, I didn’t really feel too good about today’s workout. Not cos of my timings but I feel that I’m running for the wrong reasons now. Maybe it’s because training has just resumed. See right, usually after a run, no matter how lousy the timing, I’d still feel the satisfaction, knowing that I ran my best today. I thought that by running ur best, you’d feel that way. But, I just realised that it’s not true, only today, only 2 yrs after I ran. I did pia like siao for the last 100m..just that I don’t feel the satisfaction. I was definitely running for the wrong reason today. What was it? I can’t seem to figure it out. Argh, so frustrating. Ok forget it. I’m not going to strain my head further.
Heehee, realise I didn’t say ‘good run’ to any of guys. Ok maybe only to a few. I guess it’s not a habit for me to say ‘good run’ after each run. It goes to show that I really mean it when I actually congratulation u guys on ur run ok. Esp juniors, don’t think that it’s just some routine that we’ve to follow. We seniors really mean what we say.

Just like praying to God b4 u eat or sleep or whatever. I mean like, I’ve been taught since young to thank God for the food. There was a pt of time I literately said the same prayer of thanksgiving for every meal. It became a habit for me. There was no meaning in my prayer.N I felt that it was v insincere. After I became more mature [=D] I resumed my thanksgiving. But I wldn’t pray if it was gonna be a meaningless prayer. I feel that it ain’t fair to God, right? I duno.

After trg,I took about an hr break n went back to school for drill. Rmb the sun moved 20cm nearer after my training, yeah, I was melting under the sun. Walao eh, u guys still put tanning oil eh. Gee the smell STINKS. Stupid banana boat. Anyway I had a headache soon and I almost couldn’t take it. Woah, was feeling so dizzy. Like Earth was spinning even faster than usual. See, I’m so environmental, in the other way. I was feeling SO lethargic when I was walking back home. I was literately dragging my feet back home. My feet were aching like…duno what like that la! All the kpo neighbours at my condo that were looking at me walk can testify to that! I was feeling so sick.nvr eat enough vitamin C.

I just wrote a typical entry. Haha. I really can’t help it if I’m long-winded. But I’ll really need it for history and lit. oh yea, I’m taking full lit and ½ history. I really duno what I’m getting myself into. I’m really taking Ms Ng’s words into consideration!abt not taking ½ lit. Well, I guess what she says actually makes sense la. Coming to think about it, ME? Lit?!?! hahaha.. Well, I better take a lit sub. Must really learn how to improve my already magnificent English. Haha. I don’t know why people always object to me whenever I say that I’m thinking of taking IB lor. Am I that kuku? >.< for one, God might be having a plan for me and suddenly give me A LOT of motivation to study and I'd get a perfect score! Hey, God really work wonders ok. I’ve heard the testimonials of my seniors. But if I do get a perfect score, I’d try to go NJ =X NJ’s such a nice sch! It’s just such an honour being there. Being called an NJ student. In contradiction, I don’t think I’ll like the idea of representing a weird sch I duno know about. I’d still wanna go for ACJC…since that’s the only JC I can think of I’d love representing. That is, if I’m good enough, but that’s a different story la.

I really didn’t know what I was getting into when I joined X in sec1. Being called a xcountry runner is an honour. It’s like everybody’s dream. (I DON’T CARE IF U OPPOSE ;P THIS IS MY ENTRY, MY THOUGHTS =PPP) however, it takes a lot to be called one. Eg, lots of sacrifices, commitment, madness and basically, your life. I might even have to quit gb next yr.. since there’s the 5 day wk thing next yr. Sigh, I don’t really like gb…but being in this cca for abt 7yrs, it’s difficult to quit and just forget about it. ANYWAY, back to my pt, yea actually it just takes a lot of madness to join X. that’s probably why I’m there =P sigh, I don’t even know if I’m gonna join X in jc… but what else is there to do. Running, in it’s slow process, has been planted in my bones, my mind, and slowly, to my life. I want to run, yet I don’t. Seriously, I can’t imagine tiffany tan running another 4 * 400m. it’s really gonna kill me. But previously, we can run like what… 20 * 200m, 5 * 600m etc. I can’t remember those really difficult trg workouts. OH YES. 8 * 400m. but that wasn’t the difficult-est. not only that, there’re the leg pains, arm pains, chest, head, stomach, whatever pains, side effects of running too much, leg injuries or, victories and achievements to face. I rmb I use to limp quite a bit…when my legs couldn’t adapt to running too much. I kinda hated it. Since I couldn’t walk fast, or walk a lot without my legs aching. Note that it’s WALKING and not running. However, there was a sense of pride in each limp that I take. Because I know that it takes a lot of effort and energy to actually get ur legs to ache until u have to limp. So, to all those injured pple, well done and congrats to the hard work you’ve put in! Obviously, get well soon too! Come back for trg quickly!!!! Nationals are just round the corner. Goodness, I don’t even think I’m as prepared as last yr. Or prob we had intense intensive trg in dec. *shudders*

Ok I think I’ve written my fair bit. So I shall stop here. Eh pple, tag leh! U think u guys are anonymous ah?!?! Grrr, got nth to say to me one meh… btw, hi church annabelle! Hahhaa.. church annabelle sounds wrong. Anyway, yea, study hard during the hols n get ready for next yr! I dont think I’ll be able to take GB and X as my ccas next yr… not to forget swimming! ARRGHH… I might as well not swim for the sch right… I don’t even get any pts for the sch! But for myself yes la. Ohohoh, ya ya I must swim! Heehee. I’m horrible. Well, I’ll TRY to train la. I’d prob swim alone. It’s too scary to go back to training.

"The greater the difficulty, the more glory and joy it brings when accomplished."