i dont like that false front i put in front of -
boo ._.

it always happens to me. i finally get the opportunity to talk to my close friend after so long. all i want to do is just talk and talk and catch up. but i get lost in my pool of my thoughts and have nothing to say.

i hate that feeling.

i dont think i deserve the role as a prefect. or prefect trainee as you'd call it. i'm not doing anything right as one besides dutifully going down for assembly on time and patrolling the general office area guai-ly. but that's with a bunch of other people.

i'm so going to fail emath. ARGH my a1. damn it. i was so confident before the test to get at least 77.5%. from then i understood how impt a 5 min can be. just give me 5 min. and i'd be able to secure my a1. gee. it's super sad. #@*(#&@ ARRGH. screw the table (=/)

trg on monday was good. just that my timings were way off(1 min slower than usual? lol) my aim that day was just to finish the workout without walking. coach was running with me quite a fair bit and discussed abt the team. and truthfully, with his presence, i could run much better. just like how i'd be motivated to run faster with mr ng around. or with any other teammate beside me actually. (just realised i've not ran with anybody at mr for quite some time) when mr q left me to run on my own, i drastically slowed down. i was thinking, if i get inspired merely by my coach's presence, what more God's? he's by my side everytime including now. so i visualised an imaginery person beside me and began talking to God mentally. (it's so much easier actually) it was difficult at first but when i was getting the hang of it and started opening up, mr quek came back. and opening up was so much easier. my aim for the next run will be talking to God throughout the route. wheee

thinking abt yesterday night brings back happy memories. i was at the beginning of my revision for today's emath test and i dont know what got to me; i brought the scissors i already was playing with to the toilet and started snipping my hair all over. so now my hair is super messy and layered. ahahha. it's quite funny. i shall take it that it was an act of impulsion due to stress. i must admit i like my new hair though. lol ok it still looks the same but knowing that you 'cut' your own hairstyle out(i didnt do much to it),brings a sense of accomplishment. my head will swell if someone compliments my hair. haha!

all the best for elective tmr! i shall aim to fail. if i fail, yay i hit my target. if i dont hit my aim, YAY i passed!