today's
trg
sucked.

sucked real bad. even worse that LG's super good vacuum cleaner. baaah. you (more like i) realised i didnt post anything abt the 4th mth since natls on 13/8. that's cos I FINALLY GOT OVER MY LOUSY PERFORMANCE.(it's not the third runners up i'm sad abt. cos i'm happy we hit our target! but my performance..like lausai like that.)well, that's what i thought.

since teo and i had to do cip at mt alvernia(it's such a friendly place :)), we had to run alone and watch the rest of the team happily run back. and since she was listening to her (stupid) mp3 or whatever you call that thing, i could only talk to myself. and coincidentally, my stupid brain has to think abt nationals. prob cos i had menstrual cramps(I NVR DID HAVE THAT BEFORE OK) which has the same pain i had during natls05. it worsen my pace even more. arrghh :(

this burden weighing me down is like a gold bar with its chains entangled to my ankles.(i think abt natls, i cant concentrate on what i'm doing. if it's studying or running or even playing) i did relatively well(who am i to kid with. it was shit.) and shld be proud of my timing. there were others whose timing went way off but at least i didnt deprove in terms of my position. yet i persist on looking at the negative side of it; i could have done so much better. i keep telling myself to let go. there's always a next yr and we're gonna make it. but tiffany chooses to hold on to that burden which affects her training a lot(yeah i think a lot while runs) even when she chooses to release and relax a little, its chains will still cling on.

i think i need psychological help.