two things...

firstly, i think that MAYBE, just maybe..if not i'm just pushing the blame, sim is starting to make me think superficially.
but of course my down-to-earth side can be switched on anytime...i just dont wna think so much anymore because nobody reciprocates my effort.

secondly, it wouldn't mean anything to me+i cld rly do with the benefits+I'M YOUNG ONLY ONCE,

therefore, i just take the chance of it comes along right ??

not like it'll bother anyone anyway plus everyone's doing so themselves... i'd just prefer sticking to one =) haha.

just for the sake of trying + i'm young + i dont wna be so sad inside anymore...

and it doesn't matter what people think because i dont care anymore and they dont know what's happening to me and how i feel. XP

haw haw.... two more papers to go....

omg i'm really feeling so sian now... :( to study.... :(((((


though it REALLY sucks to study "alone" everyday, thank God for joanne cos we ttly meet each other everyday and we suffer tgt..hahaha and distract each other. but yea :)

but i'm still really damn bloody sian to study now.




ok lah. ignoring all the weird add ins by the stupid audiences and disgusting dances, WTV IM' 20 HA, omg. i love this vid. the teachers voice sooooo nice. and the girl at the start. and the girl at the middle part of the song. hahaha

=/ hate it when it happens. shows how dependent and noob and powerless and weak i am.. sigh :(

ughhhh. i'm so angry. jan and i made a promise to each other not to be present at the next one lawl.. dont think we will be able to stand the unnecessary attention.

i rly need anger mgmt.....but i allow myself to be for this case. totally ********* !!!

anw trng tdy was ... :) coach kept thanking me for going... he makes me feel so appreciated... he even smsed me after trng again :)) glad i went down.

mkting exam...hmmm

ps: cant find any good covers of this song in my limited time. sry. but lovely song

Studied fr a short while ytd. Ttly didn't study at all tdy.... And tmr s gna be a long day of watching exciting events... I actly will need to learn how to walk away and go stardie. Yes....

Zzz. Yeppp. I know I must persevere.....for it WILL pass. Which is in a matter of time.... And it's for the greater good. HAw haw. Haiyooo :/// lost control. And ttly screwed it up >.< jans rgt. i AM weird :(((( I don't think normally, My actions are so kuku. I don't care abt stuff... I judt do weird stuff and say weird things most of th time. Making I'm not making enough effort to be normal like how she asks me to..or how ppl imply me to... Hate it that I'm like tt :(

I'm such a let down to you , g... Sry... :'(((

ughhh :((((((((

first song i listened to of tyler's !


this video is so cute :) warms my paperheart (what does paper heart mean?) . the guy at 1.40min has a "cool" look. i dno how to define that look but yeaaa . hahaha. love how there are so many ppl in this :)


this still amazes me la.

sry for posting so many youtube vids but i....dont care ? haha.

jan's friends are over and....yeah ok we'll keep it at that hawhaw

grahz. ponned time trial tdy. shall do track tmr...

trng ytd was kinda whoo mad. haha. =/ coach talk after that... and he was asking me if i was demoralised from sunig... "you've trained so hard yet you didnt do well. do you feel very demoralised?" which is exactly what i felt. haha cos i nvr trained so hard =/ or ran so much for that matter..

he kept saying that i must BE CONFIDENT of myself and my abilities. and if i dont, i will just keep gng down cos i'm so negative and once i hit the bottom, i'll go to him and say 'coach thats it man. i cant do it alr. sorry' when in fact, yes i can do it..

but what struck me the most was that ,all my other coaches told me too to be confident.. am i not confident enough? i'm really so tired alr what confidence is there to display to propel me forward...

i dno... i really dont... :( sorry dear. but yeah, now that coach has made me aware of what may happen to me (which actually has been replaying in my mind for quite a while now =x) , i must NOT ditch you !! before everything else, running was my first love. i really did it SINCE YOUNG manz even tho i only started in sec sch.. lawlz.

i keep waking up so late :( zzz. i think i'll go sch tmr early too to print heck lot of notes. har har.. the enrolment talk had better be good and worth my time >:(

haaiiiiiiiiiyaaaaaaah... bad things aside from ytd (and weird lol. thanks jan) , i heard marshall's goodnight song to lily!! it was superrrrr hilarious. mark and i kept laughinggg ttm #@(*#@)(! which made joyce super ?!?!HUH?!?!?!lolll cos she was sitting across us hahahahhaha. and it was of even more extreme-r funnyness to me cos a past memory haha :).. himym (pronounced as hi-mum) is superrrrr funny omg :')

one hour a day for Him .tt's rly quite....little still. lol. being spiritual in a secular world is really tough. stupid devil.

anw fang is gna do prayer stuff for youthp camp! aww ^^

that's heaven (8) with words.

omg. the place looks so cosy. and they look like they had a lot of fun!!

hello! :) * wave wave*

it's not what i didn't feel but what i didnt show

julia sheer singing misery is so nice.......

ytd aft trng i suddenly had this thought :
i shouldn't dwell on stuff especially if it makes me sad because it doesn't change the situation at all. God has alr "planned our steps" and our future so.... i shld just pray and fill my mind with Him if ever i start to think abt these sad,sad things and what ifs and what if nots ....., and just trust. God has alr my future crafted out which ultimately shld be better than what i'm doing here so
i shld pray that i wont screw things up, for the future to really take place, and to look forward to the better future ahead.

just gta have a lil faith , eh?

:( as i'm talking to ,haha yeah sq, and saying for the 1000th time , i am really so tired (everytime i say that i think of yl's situation to ___ hahha) ...... from trng, proj, trying to study.... i am starting to wonder, is it cos of the feelings that are looming in my heart?

and then; . am i trying to draw strength from the wrong places? oh dear god, i'm so sorry :(((( for i am so short sighted and so worldly....