you know we go about our lives everyday talking nonsense with friends ? chatting about just anything that comes to mind just so to pass the time and help us get through the day .

but then once in a while, those sort of 'deep conversations' pop up in your life ((i dont believe in coordinated dc s because they have to happen naturally... -it can stretch from just 15min to maybe ... 6hrs long(yes it happened :o ...?yeah . and it makes you think a lot.and it'll leave you with a really good/bad feeling. good cos -wow i've got some intellect in me ;) - or bad because -sigh, it nvr occurred to me...- or sth.

so anyway the DC happened a few days ago . and it left me w a realllllly bad feeling...-of course i cld have chosen to just take what happened as a passing thing , cos we were more of like bitching etc hhahah. but juice is my good friend and i dont want to leave it aside just like that- so anyway, it was underlying horrible because 1) i actly agree with what we talked abt 2) i dont know what to do abt juice....esp more so bcos juice has given up. i'm not too worried abt myself because i know i've not given up (yet =/ haha) .

really hoping GOd shows me someone that i can turn to for advice... SO ANYWAY. dc left me in a state and i went abt my life with that lingering behind in my mind

one day, i was stoning with a few other people. OKAY i'm too lazy to pen down my thoughts hahahahha but i asked cookie a qn of which my answer to is ,' no. we'd be too cynical by then'. and i had that thought since ....15yrs or sth. (haha cookie is older than tht btw) so ANYWAY i asked cookie

"do you think that say 20 years from now you'd still love GOd just as much? dont think abt the what ifs in future, just at this current moment, what's your stand"

cooki hesitated for a while and ...stuttering, trying to find the right words , eventually said "i think, actly, i will love God more".

that was like a strong gust of wind that came against me and tipped me off my centre of gravity !

i dont have any point i'm trying to make.

ytd was a horrible day .
1) i dont know why my sister spoke so ill-ly of me. and it was a statement that had this seemingly effort of wanting to put me down+impressing others. got that from doodle and sugar before. =/ i really hate that lol. why do you want to 'act cool' in the midst of others? yet you're normal in front of me .......if you want to put me down THEN DONT EVEN TALK TO ME AT ALL. haha
2) i dont wna describe the situation here but .ytd night, if i was rich enough, i'd have taken my siblings with me and left.