I was lying on bed wide awake last night (at 1am.... way past my bed time!!). And tbh, i did wonder whether any spirits enter my body or anything cos i went to shao mu with my grandma and it was super damn hot and i was perspiring like nobody's bizes...and she asked me to 'baibai' to my granddad's grandfather and i rly didnt know how to reject her so i did it. BUT ANW, while lying on my bed, this came to mind:

Would I rather live a life struggling to achieve, or live a life with nothing to look forward to?

and it baffled me. i have no answer to that...there are just too many pros and cons to consider. after a while i moved to the empty bed and fell asleep.

this is a piece of info abt me: i hate quarrels
reality (of the past at least): i 'argued'/disagreed with many people which have led to many having the perception that i'm a fiesty irritating gng agnst everything scary girl.
but truth be told: i hate quarrels. i think it was jst a defensive mechanism of mine lest i get bullied.

ok i'm not making any cents i think. haha. omg i miss eutube :( ok. I AM GNG THERE NOW COS I NEED TO TELL YELENA I'M NOT GNA VISIT THEM FOR A WHILE!! HAHA