have a few stuff that i want to update for memory's keep. (things that i can't address tngt: 1 my bday celebration 2 reminiscing nepal)

oh before i go on and on, to the you that read my blog, really appreciate the text msgs to check up on me. while i do have many rough times, i must admit that it is easier to express sadness than happiness. "it is in human nature to remember the bad more than the good" -something which i need to move away from. alright, here goes the long (gna try to summary) update:

1 him at work: i've known him all my life but i guess when you grow up and have to work, you spend more time in the office, your colleagues may know your antics better than your family. have known him to be insensitive and impatient; but seeing the way he blasted at a subordinate, it was too much to bear. the sub spoke up for himself and it made me feel more conflicted because i am a subordinate myself but the other party is my dad. i want to ignore yet i shouldn't. i want to address it yet i have too many flaws to . but on reflection, the right thing to do is to approach and talk to him about it. he cannot continue this behaviour and take advantage of people..

2 work: takes a huge toll on me yet i know it ultimately is beneficial for me. its so so important to be in a career of your choice, to believe that your job is what will help you be one step closer to your bigger goal (we were meant to live for so much more). while yes, your job should not define you, you spend 40% of your time there, you must be doing sth that you feel is worthwhile to survive and believe in.

3 on friday, went down to the dormitory and saw a bunch of workers checking in for the first time. they had new beds and new safety equipment (for their work) etc. and i couldnt help but feel that they were checking into a chalet or sth! haha... a matured man packed wine along and it had to be detained in the office. i felt sorry when the dorm supervisor exerted his authority over the matured man and said sth like 'dont do these kind of drinking nonsense'. the matured man cld demand for the supervisor's respect, instead he humbled himself and smiled &tried to ease the situation by joking.

4 aqua sunig
rmb how i wanted to talk abt an intimate scene i noticed? so the situation was as goes: sim girls have been champions for the past two years w 3 very strong athletes. however this year, they only had 2 and needed that one more girl to help maintain their positions. and competition was pretty stiff from ntu. after the race, when results were still bein tabulated, our own team members tried t do their own calculations and it was just v stressful for the girls because they didnt know if they managed to hold their title. calculations were v blurry cos when one girl may have ran v well, the other 2 girls compensaed with poorer performances. the stress must have gotten to the girls and some cried, some were abt to explode from the pressure. when the results eventually got released, everybody crowded ard. someone eventually caught sight and announced 'sim girls are champions again! by 2min!' . there was a lot of cheering and relieved smiles. and in the middle of the whole celebratory crowd, the assistant coach (hes v tall) stood. and the crying girl who was so distraught abt possibly pulling the team down. when she heard the good news, she burst out into tears again- happy relieved tears this time! and the asst coach pulled her into his embrace and 'friendly-hugged' her as she sobbed uncontrollably in his comfort.

it was a very intimate scene because up till then, i hadnt seen such a close relationship between coach & athlete. it was so touching that an athlete placed her trust, time and effort into a coach and they go through thick and thin tgt. a mentor-mentee rship can be so so impactful. when i saw that scene, i was thinking to myself 'damn, lemon, you're totally nailing this coach thing' :)

5 financial
was extremely mindful of financial expenditure to a point where i was very sensitive about the issue. so when i saw the big purchases, i couldnt take it that i lost control. felt that , i couldn't trust my future to such anymore... and it made me so, so scared. the issue wasn't handled well but . (Stopped halfway on 4thnov13 :o )

Mum

boyfriend

-do. Not. Rmb. !!! Can poor memory be attributed to laziness? :(