The Sunday Times, 170405 pg 30. go read it!
i can't really rmb the newspaper name
but i'm pretty sure almost every household has that section
it's the thickest newspaper on sundays.

it's the first ever article that i think is worth being put on newspaper for S'pore to read
btw, it's on the 'Think' section with a huge picture and it's abt the death of Pope
i may not be a catholic, the journalist may be a catholic
but i thought it really made me think and ponder a lot
ponder about the difference between christianity and catholicism
and also, what my faith is like

the journalist is really good and i really feel like writing in to him and ask him not to give up hope on finding God's undying love
oh well should u ever come here, you've seen it =)

Phillippians 4:6
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

it's very relevant now to everybody since exams are coming really soon. and after that, crossies are going to the coast of s'pore for a picnic! =D ok that was just something i'm suggesting k. i just wanna scream my lungs out and let out all my stress after exams. i rmb doing it with a few crossies at the crossjunction of bukit timah, st margs, macritchie and serene centre few wks back. it felt great.

btw for all my neighbours living at bukit timah; i'm gonna miss every single one of u all when i leave. it's official.i'm moving to the opposite end of s'pore. opposite mount faber. sigh ohwell God works in mysterious ways. yes MYSTERIOUS WAYS. thus the results of natls.

and the newspaper is so weird. and i'm talking about the article on natls on 14th. ya whateverthatprorunner'snameis ate for lunch is so relevant to the xcountry com.

so anyway, (this is what celestine has been waiting to hear from me), i guess i'll meet u at kap from tues =) my house will be too chaotic a place to study. but it wouldnt be everyday k. i'd die. actually u know what. forget it. i wanna study in sch. HAIIYARRH. i'll study ANYWHERE as long as it's at bukit timah. oh man, i'm really gonna miss my neighbours(though i've never spoken to any except for the kids)

ok as you've guessed, i'm really bored. and woohoo! i finally took the initiative to go popular and buy graph paper. it's so worth it leh. $1.80 for 50 pieces. if it's ex, that means i got cheated of my money.now i'm attempt my past few wks of undone graph qns. dont ask me how i managed to get through Mr Ling's watchful eye. i..just did it. and i'm still quite amazed at that.

oh and i moved my seat. all the way to the back at the top left hand corner from the teacher's view. it's the seat i've been longing to sit for since...i dont know when. but i'm hating my seat already. i feel so extra in class. but the best thing is, i can stand up in class to stretch anytime i want now. but as michelle said, it's soo empty at my right hand side >.<

val; how's your letter coming along? your letter doesn't seem to be coming at all. probably after exams or something. writing letters takes a lot of time for me since i've so much to elaborate on even one sentence.

okok i really gotta get into the study mode.
filling my time with work gives me no time at all to think abt natls.
i think i'd mug from tmr

past few days have been really tough
there's no time to think about the failure
when i finally do have time, it's just the wrong time to think about it
personally, i've not given much thought about the shit i gave

i'm not sad about nationals
i'm not heck about it
it's probably depression
i'm drowning in failure and sorrow
i don't know how it feels like

13th was my very first time experiencing self failure
guilt & remorse
i can't cry and let it all out
i tried to vomit all my feelings out
i just cant

every now and then
all these feelings sink in again, it overwhelms me so greatly
like the way an adrenaline rush would do
nothing i do can take these feelings away

some people are sensitive to my feelings and not talk about it
others scrutinize the other racers telling me they failed
as if i didn't
most tell me as long i did my best it's ok
but it isn't

i can't waste anymore time brooding over it
exams are approaching so soon

if i had known
only 6 people to overtake
why didn't i tell myself to push all the way
why did i give up even before the race ended
why did i let them overtake me?
why didn't i give chase

i wasn't in pain
i felt well
i was determined to win
i was only breathing hard
why didn't i remind myself that running naturally makes u breath hard
i've let my seniors down

i ran past our star runner
i should have known the results now lay in my hands
ah forget it no use brooding over it
i feel so emotionless ._.

praise the Lord! i'm fine now :D:D:D:D:D:D ! i came abt that conclusion by experimenting my body today. I DID NOT NEED TO RELY ON STUPID PILLS TO KEEP MY STOMACH GUAI XDXDXD wheeeee. yay yay yay!!! thanks to all that prayed for me :) my deepest gratitude. so all i need now is ample rest since i'm still pretty weak. other than that, i'm ready! =) i hope >.< knee hurted A LITTLE today though. nvm i'm still gonna do my best cos God's grace and power is far more greater than a stupid ache. keep the mgxers in prayer!

come on mg n ac. 2 more days to burn the turf

sat morning, knee hurt. felt like a start of an injury.

sat night, 11pm - watched tv, ate chocolate, iced knee
11.30pm - 1.45 spent quality time with the damn toilet bowl
1.50am - felt so tired from all the stomach contractings and vomiting, slept
2.03am - pain in stomach woke me up. rushed to the toilet
2.06 - went back to sleep
2.10- woke up yet again
2.15 - 2.50 went ard s'pore looking for a stupid 24hrs clinic with mum
2.50 found one at CLEMENTI but had to pay a price of over $50 as consultation fees..?!
3.15 went to toh yi for mee tai mak but ate one spoonful and felt sick again
4 went home, ate medicine, talked to my mum
5 sleep
10 woke up for church

had a really bad case of food poisoning. knee aches when i was running ytd. feel super weak and lethargic. a lot of undone hw (which i plan to pass up next wk or so all thanks to the influence of someone) does God not want me to run on wed? i really dont know what to do now. pls pray for me

val: hEheEx tHat post wAs dEdIcaTEd to Mr. Rain! heHehEe. didnt u see?! =) its not for u to see but for MR RAIN XD keke. besides, i cant read it myself. lolx

charisa: hello babex! :):) the creator is baaaack againx!! kekekex. anyway if u do see me, say hi k? :) but if i look dao, sorry! hehehe. who did u hear from that we've been training very hard? x) anyways, thanks for having so much faith in mg =) unlike SOME PPLE -staresathanwei- i really wanna see good overall results too. i really do. WoAh, charisa, that last tag, powers maaanx. anyway, thanks =) i guess i do feel that way but no matter. my feelings dont matter..to Him, to you, to me, to anybody else in the world. i know He loves me. i just have yet to accept His love freely. thanks for coming baackies. what's your bloggie? =) write me testii!!~*~ kekekex.

madhavi!: hey madhavvviiii!!!! XD what's your number?? i'll call u straight after the results are out on wed. heck abt the calling rates huh for once.. lolx. i'll tell u what our position is kaayyyess?? :):) but i dont think i'll be that enthu if it isnt very good. crap i keep having negative thoughts. go awaysss!!!! >< style="font-size:78%;">LOL. i seriously wonder how them 'ahlians' do it. ok i'm kidding =) woah. i spent 1 hr typing that whole lot of thing. hahaha. i guess i still need lotsa practise! hehehehe. no.kekekeke XD

ok so to the real me, yesterday's taiwan exchange programme was an experience. after knowing such a great bunch of pple, i think i'm starting to act like them hahaha. like..not caring abt the world and just doing my stuff. they have a personality of their own, do what they like not giving any 2nd thought what anybody wld think of them. hahahaha..they're in a sense, da4dan3. but in a really nice way. they're a funkaayee bunch. i'll miss them =(

trg today...ended off with a low key. i guess he didnt really know how i was feeling since my perspiration was a coverup. oh well..only esther and grace wld know what i'm talking abt. but nope, i'm not gonna let a small setback hinder me. God's grace is much bigger than that.

for today, JUST FOR TODAY, hwa chong I rocks. though we kept irritating them and vice versa, i think they're actually nice enough to share their inspiration with us. gosh, why did we have to leave 1/2 way!! i love watching races. and WOW. they have the best screen or smth man. and the equipment is user friendly xD but there was still a chinese flaw in them. oh WELL who cares. i'm so glad the tchs coach approached mr ng and offered to let us watch the tapes as well. at least that occupied my mind leaving no space for any hurt feelings during the previous incident.

spore has really weird pple >.< go look around friendster! ok i feel super mean. i can't get booked like that...right? i hope not =X

whew 1500m went by so quickly. it was just like a breeze xD not saying that it was easy. but i enjoyed myself throughout the race. there's no pressure, cos i dont really intend to catch up with the rest, and i didnt feel mr ng's eyes on me. whee.. only bad part was the last 100m >.< why didnt i open up. why didnt i push my 150%. why didnt i even fasten my stridings. i just didnt feel the need to. i didn't feel like it. i didn't want it. i didn't hunger to do my personal bestest best. gee. that really sucked. i hope today was a lesson learnt. i nvr ever wanna run with that mentality come 13th. i'm glad i talked to jen with her, " ya so obvious you didnt speed up at the end." it was kinda a 'scolding' but i was so happy she was so direct. at least i got reprimanded. i dont want to run at a constant speed throughout the race. i want to accelerate with each step.

hmph. stupid rain.

To: Mr. Rain
though u might have prevented us from the race, don't worry. u did not succeed in dampening my spirits! u know what? i was so psyched for today's trial. i even forsaked my math lesson just thinking, stressing and whatever over it and didnt listen fully in class . oh well! actually, the fact that u came, prevented me from doing a good run, pushed me a lot more. i was so determined to DO MY BEST. but well, u came and now i wanna do my ultimate of ultimate best the next time i come cos i'm so frustrated over u. dont u dare come next wk. plssss. don't let me wait another day. i NEED to push my best.

With my deepest gratitude,
Tiffany

If i were deaf, would i still listen to his word?
If i were blind, would i still look around at all the pain and suffering and pray?
If i were mute, will i still sing praises to him? Will i still tell the rest about him?
If i had no hands, would i still pray? Would i still do things to please others?
If one day i become crippled, would i still be able to run for him and him alone? Will i be able to run for his glory?
If one day i stop breathing, would i go to heaven?

But no, i'm not deaf. i'm not blind. i'm not mute. i do have an able body. i still AM breathing. no no no. i lack nothing in life. i'm just like everyone of u all out there in the world. if u can Ace that test, so can i. if u can run your guts out, so can i. if your sch can win, SO CAN MINE. we're all the same. but well, i do want it more than u. we all do want it more than any of the rest of u. so i think the trophy should go to the ones that really deserve it. i don't care the colour the trophy reflects because i know he will let the best win. he'll let the most deserving one win.

time trials with ac tmr. just run yer guts out. run like there's no tommorrow. run like your competitors are your rivals, not your seniors. let's just do the best within our ability though it's not the real race. yes, it's NOT the real race. so if we do well tmr, good keep up the good work. but don't get complacent. if we don't do well, take tmr as a lesson. it's only a time trial. we wldnt want to choke in failure twice, do we.

i want to see good blog posts in every mgs cross country girls' blog next week. i want to see smiles on every teammate. i want pictures with smiling people.i want the school to look up to us. i'm sick of being called the 'boring' cca. i'm sick of people critisizing xcountry. " eh all your do is just run and run and run. no life one hor you all." i know we're capable of it. we DO have the talent. let's just showcase them next week. despite falling, know that there are some 20+ good ole runners behind u urging u to go on. they've placed all their hopes on you. every single one. they're depending on YOU to do it. u have the whole team mgs family pushing u. God is just up there, giving you the strength to go on. dont doubt his strength, all u need is just to ask and you shall be given. actually, God is everywhere. don't look down on his creation. God's children are warriors. they, we, ARE fighters. don't hold back anymore. there's nothing to hold back for. let's just do it.

time trials are in 2 dayssssss.
i'm moving somewhere super near mount faber by i dont know when!! >.<
tell me. what's the use of shifting house so often? shuang isit. hmphhh. i only stayed here at bukit timah for abt 3 yrs, am starting to enjoy the location and WHEW. we're moving out AGAIN. grrrr

trg ytd was surprising good for me. surprisingly good timings for me too! yay.

anyway swim meet was kinda dead x_X except for olson which were so loud. jackson seems to have a slow reaction time or probably sound travels really slowly :) oh well. i got 2nd for breast! denise and i thought we got 3rd for relay when we got 4th :( we were so sad.

oh yes, the start of a new mth was really eventful. i woke up at 5.30am(wow!) and left home to go sch at 6am just to take the banners. luckily my mum woke up in time to, " tiffany, it's too dark and early. it's too dangerous, i'll send u there." came back home, took my sister's sch bus which was so squeezy for my legs. or maybe i'm just too tall. oh well, it was super noisy. and my one of my sisters' bus mates that stays in yarwood is so cute. hahaha. then comes the part i must publicise. at the HIGHWAY. zhiwai: "i see the swimming complex. let's get out of the bus and walk there.if not we'll get booked for being late." *stunned. shocked.horror.* and thanks to zhiwai's -wehavetodoit- serious talk, i dragged myself out of the bus. woah almost died man. carry so many things then walk so long. surprisingly zhiwai was so much faster than me and less breathless. hmmm :)

april's fool. the mgs cross country girls were into the mood for going around telling people spastic things then, "APRIL'S FOOL! HAHAHAHAHAHA" -.- i think the best one was the mrng-to-mrskwan-to-netballers-to-us. where i forwarded e msg frm the sec2 girls to rachael. and rachael was like," yaya i know it's just a joke." but i kept insisting that i wasn't joking only to find out the truth when i heard some sniggerings and gigglings behind. HMPH. only reason that was so vague is cos i feel so stupid abt it.

bus ride to tchs was good. first time i was able to sleep so soundly in a bus. but when i just woke up with super messy hair, yoon's :"hey tiff reminds me of someone! like some celeb" was so funny i couldnt go back to sleep PLUS liankim's and dont know who's ULTRA funny singing. HAHAHAHA. it was the best rendition of whatever that song was i've ever heard.

ended off the day by sleeping at TWO AM. n my chem teacher was so funny today.
reached my tuition at 11.30am initially starting at 11am. was greeted with a," tiffany why are u so late today? *concerned look*" 'oh uh, i overslept' O.O "ohhh...okkkayy. *speechless* wld u like to sit here?" HAHA.