"you are responsible for your role in a relationship. How you respond to people > how people treat you. If you dont like the way someone treats you, then you change it. If you carry on with it, then youre telling that person its okay to treat you like that. It becomes your fault.

If i did what i wanted instead of fretting about who would hate me as a result, then id be happier. At a basic level, id have done what i wanted; at a top level, i wld have found out who truly loved me and would have stuck with me. '
-the chocolate run

What a bimbotic girly but apt book.

I really dont need this now :((( my body feels so hot but my fingers and toes are so damn cold.... Feeling rather ache y all over too... And when i walk ard, i feel faint! I shld think im feeling feverish... Haha. Sucks that i can attribute these feelings to a cause :( shows tt im acquainted w sickness. I nvr fell sick for yearssss and jst this year alone i fell sick thrice!!!! Zzz :((

Reaaaaally dont like this lethargic feeling overwhelming me...... :(((

'I'm one who believes in destiny and falling in love at first sight. Like when I'm in subways or standing at traffic junctions, I would get very nervous... Just in case I meet her.'
- Kyuhyun :))

this very aptly explains my nervous behaviour during the first moments when i first step onto unfamiliar ground! i'm not agreeing because of the guy...just in case YOU think so... haha...

"... probably cos at this time when everyone is deep in slumber, i feel the most alive."
-suddenly felt that when i was having supper at 3am just now... ha :/

"for the first time in my life, i dont know what i am supposed to do."

'well, i suppose, for people to find out what they are meant to do, they need to realise that they dont know what to do with their life first'

There was one training at macritchie on a Saturday morning. I checked my watch at the half way mark and realized that if I kept at my pace, I'd hit a pb. I was feeling strong and cld even push my pace. So my pb was broken by a fair bit.

Fast forward into a few wks or mths, I had just came back from a hiatus. I was good enough to try a decent time but not good enough to challenge my pb. At some point of time during the run, I decided to run with someone of lower level than me. And I pushed her. I talked to her throughout the entire way. I encouraged her, I checked time. I made her chase me when she slowed down. In the end, she crossed the finish line not with a pb like a glorious movie ending but somewhere near it, of which she hasn't touched for quite some time now. The gratitude and happiness displayed, the feeling of being important and needed ..all these combined and made the latter scenario a much more satisfying run..

Celebrated jolenes 21st bday try with her family , boyfriend and Vicki. It was such an amazing time of dinner.
I don't know what it is, maybe it's from the drama that I've been immersed in for the past 2-3 days, but I felt extreme sadness when I came home.. I felt alone, I felt fear, I felt disapppontment from a failed attempt.

The drama I've been watching is Dream High. It has pulled along great tidals of emotions, the simplest emotions of happiness and sadness, of uncertainty, hatred, BOREDOM heh, hope, curiosity and dream. The title is so cliche but the show resurfaced many of my dreams and magnified them. Maybe it s the show or maybe I'm just growing up...

Dad came back today. This genius brought everything out of the cab except a pouch with his iPad and some cash inside. I was so frustrated and upset that I punched a box. I don't know why I acted as such... Was his white hair becoming more obvious, his eyes getting more sunken, eye bags protruding more, cheeks getting more sagged..the effects of aging becoming more evident? Coupled with the weakness in his expression and actions because he's suffering from food poisoning....

When I heard his gagging sounds, one phrase flashed to mind: it is difficult to hate someone when he is at his weakest.

Very soon I'm going to become a mother.. And I promise right here and now that I'd fight all the way for my kids.
I don't know if it is going to be beneficial or whether they even want it,. What I do know is that this is something that I greatly desire. And so I won't stop until they tell me straight to my face to stop my nonsense.

I guess Time is of value too, just like how we put a value to cash. I've always wondered why people wanted to live longer...what can or what will you do with more time? I've no answer to that..and this is where my weakness starts to show.

A dysfunctional family leads to bad upbringing of the children.
That's it , do I want to bring people in to the world and jeopardize them ?

Or is love all that is needed .

they say that i'm alex's best friend. it really warmed my heart :) and made me proud that he treats me as a best friend...

then i stop short in my tracks and wonder whether that was very sad cos alex is a rabbit..and hes prob my only best friend . haha

i really like hangeng's look! lolllll v endearign like seulong. i rly dont rmb which guy has that look cos it looks v familiar. oh and, i like real steel's song during its credits. wonder what it is..

sighhh...

one week ago my life was as such:

them: where do you study?
me: sim-rmit, biz mgmt, major finance. i dno what i'm gna minor in...maybe HR or mting

now;
them: where do you study?
me: (hmmm, i used to have a major in finance... but with the new system, i'm technically no longer a finance major...even though in reality, i still take finance as a major... i dont rly get the new system as well. shld i bother explaining to them?...) sim-rmit, biz mgmt.


sianz tothemax haha

just brisked through an article abt steve jobs.... i stopped after a while because i was too repulsed by the stuff that were reported on him. all said, he was a good man. just like the guy who passed on while on some national expedition (wht was his name agn ??) . and wo stevejobs, we wldnt be using apple and prob still living in the nokia era. this is sth he said that got to me :

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

we are all gna die anyway so just go for it because there is nothing to lose

yes

the older we get, the less we write.

DAMN IT! WHAT A TERRIBLE REVELATION :( I SHALL WRITE WRITE WRITE WRITE TDY