I Offer My Life

All that I am, all that I have I lay them down before you O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours

Chorus: Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory Lord
I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

i rmb that if you lift things up to him, it means that youre trusting those things to him and believing that his plans are better than ours for us-it'll be better for us. (btw we sang that song for church before the sermon). then i thought to myself -;;

what can be better than a natl gold medal?what can be better than running the race of your life like youve always envisoned yourself to run but nvr did? i really cant think of anything..nothing can to mind.

anyway the thing that i almost did today, it was while talking to friend tdy in church. i thought of just letting go of those gate-chains and just releasing all the fear and anger and resentment and disappointment i had. but i stopped myself.

had a super long walk with a cross friend too ,ytd.after my first ever completed biathlon.(!!! :) twas an experience man. like...ooooh,new profound respect for them triathletes ay!) i stoned most of the time. but i realise that it is a very good way to reflect shld i wanna do so.

i had a nice night last night :) thanks yall.

i know i 've some stuff i've to settle with myself.some confusion to straighten out. but i dont know how. and i'm scared .
my rollar coaster keeps going down.
how now brown cow.
milk some cows.

omggggggggggggg this week is gonna be very emotional. 2nd leg for liverpool. may day holiday. 2$ voucher for movie at GV from abraham.(give some credit). chem test on monday before sch. gp essay(due tmr), econs essay(due date last tues), math assignment. i've only started on chem test.

hurr...at least iv'e started.
natls post mortem by yours truly will be done when linggan comes-
i thought of doing so on the night of natls, cos the feelings were still v fresh(heck, i was feeling nothing. i was feeling numb). but after 4days, the feelings are slowly coming to me.i'm starting to make sense of how my heart really feels(rephrase: my brain is starting to process how i'm really feeling deep inside-dont say i'm slow or whatever. this is a serious post). and how i'm supposed to feel then, it is still damn fresh in me.and i think it will be for a v long time. i hope not as long as sec3's though.. =.= okay stop it.

(anw i'm getting rather annoyed cos i smsed some pple, asking for an asap reply but 3hrs alr still noresponse. i know i m v lag myself. but if it's impt, or if its just a qn to ans, LIKE MY SMS, i'll do it fast. okay, chill.maybe phone confiscated or study so hard till cannot take break to sms.this aint a personal attack ,just that i'm trying to solve some things here on my end, and this lag is getting on my nerves. it's just me.)

how novel-ers will describe me is : shes behaving like her natls just happened yesterday.

ha-ha. hell no.
(i cant find the function. but i wanna strike this line out: i cant act that sad.)
i cant be that sad.
it's just the way i am. i can nvr show how sad i am, how angry i am, how happy i am, how whatever emotion feeling i am--that's what i think lah. chris says the way i perceive myself is not really the way i am.

but then again whos to determine what i am really like ?as in there's no Tiffany Standards to compare with.like data booklet or sth. okay whatever. anyway i wanna say this;istudied rather hardcore today for abt 1-2hrs in church tdy. and i'm feeling really good abt it. hahaha..since march hols i actly studied, and so productive at that!

OH YAAAAA.HAHHAHAHA must thank markky's music that helped me to conc while studying too.thanks lil one! i was really into the music and was singing along with it so happily. then suddenly yuliang whacked my head(no mercy was spared okay. imagine how many brain cells died under that one impact). during dinner i asked why and the response: cos you were making v weird noises

softball is a very complicated sport.

i shall go again. i think i'll make up for lost slp on...1st may.see how long i can last. OR MAYBE NOT. my eye bags can be disgusting. i need to find simplerer pleasures in school. to motivate me to go sch. like cat and jolene. but nah, that way cant work for me cos there are no Nehnehs to them like there is to me! hmm. ill think abt it

17 Apr 08, 01:53aBBy: can u act?

crazy man. hahahah

15 Apr 08, 15:30gracelokelokeloke: to comment: nope it's a line taken off mr quek's shirt and we love it!

aye' capt !

15 Apr 08, 07:38comment: is it just me, or does that post really sound like you just got dumped

who are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

13 Apr 08, 11:17tricia: haha i kinda feel the same way about the mgxteam and the current one now (: anw after natls 3of us go back mg meet tofu!!! XD

tofu mokotofu !

12 Apr 08, 07:28fang: haha i see you've quoted me! TIFFFYY ELEVEN DAYSSSS

yes i did darling :) fang youre such an encourager. dont forget the fruit salad ! hahahahah :D:D:D:D shaved ice pls

10 Apr 08, 23:03Dan: i never ever realised cross ws so hard? guess having a team really makes a difference...

yes a team really makes the difference :)

10 Apr 08, 19:38fallen: for what it's worth, i tried so hard, but i just can't run

think abt the failure is the mother of success phrase

9 Apr 08, 04:53weijie: you are searching for Steven Gerrard I believe.

hahah thats a classic anti climax

8 Apr 08, 23:32annabelle: hello! omg you've been using this blog since forever you even have my old link. i like talking to you! you're such an awesome friend to have =)

annabelle :)

Is this the first time you will be swimming in the open sea in a competitive event of this nature?Yes, this is my first time

(omggggg i cant believe i'm actly doing this)

eeee~~~!!!

it's gonna hurt. deal with it.

I close both locks below the window.
I close both blinds and turn away.
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple.
Sometimes goodbye's the only way.

And the sun will set for you,
The sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in grey,
And the sun will set for you.

Pink cards and flowers on your window,
Your friends all plead for you to stay.
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple.
Sometimes goodbye's the only way.

And the sun will set for you,
The sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in grey,

And the sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in grey,
And the sun will set for you.

[Guitar solo]

And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in grey,
And the sun will set for you.

I close both locks below the window.
I close both blinds and turn away.
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple.
Sometimes goodbye's the only way.

And the sun will set for you,
The sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in grey,
And the sun will set for you.

Pink cards and flowers on your window,
Your friends all plead for you to stay.
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple.
Sometimes goodbye's the only way.

And the sun will set for you,
The sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in grey,

And the sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in grey,
And the sun will set for you.

[Guitar solo]

And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in grey,
And the sun will set for you.

in lieu of natls in 13 days(!!!)

Races on the track have only two things to do. They have to do with the gun and the finish line. Run like crazy when you hear one...and don't stop until you cross the other.

i made this sudden realisation to two friends of whom i shall not name. but it aint gonna be a secret now for it's going to be disclosed.

i told them that i dislike school, i dislike rjc, i dislike everything. but when i think about it, when i think of my surroundings, i think otherwise. i love my classmates for they are all very special people to me, and it's just so amazing and heartwarming to see how we're maturing(IN SOME SENSE) and growing to each other.

and other than them, the other main bulk of my friends or as one'd put it, the other social circle i'm in, is my crosscountry team. and,yeah it took kinda long but i was gone away for a while!, i love my team. when i was in sec1, and even to sec4, i was thinking mgx was THE team of the century. i'd find no other team like that. period. but come rj, with all the hatred and mixed feelings (eg. why the hell did i forgo my childhood dreams and come to this j.college) ,i'm finding myself embraced by this new team. and i embracing them too.

it's really special. (not in the right state of mind to elaborate now :( )

i read this somewhere and i'm gonna share it with yall :-I have seen my ex-captain and some of my team mates with tears in their eyes, walking out to receive the FOURTH place and clapping as the other team, my opponents, receive the first, second and third. (2007)-

(we fell short of our seniors' (of 4 yrs) glory. champions four times in a row, then we threw it away with a fourth. it was the worst feeling for me ever. esp when capt made us show sportsmanship and congratulate our opponents who beat us. ....can nvr forget the experience and the...expression i saw in capt's eyes when she told us to do so)

-When we miss a kick, or strike out, OR GET A SHITTY TIMING, OR ARE UNABLE TO CATCH UP, or FALL, we don’t let down an entire state. We only let down our teammates, coaches, and fans. -

my teammates are my family, my fans are my best friends.

cross country:
It's tough, real tough.
Ever watch a runner kick from behind and win?

Takes guts, a lot of guts.
Yeah, it's tough.

Watch a practice.
Runners collapse, stager,fall down, even cry.
It hurts that bad.
Yeah, Cross Country
it's tough.

But go watch a race.
Watch pain swell into pride.
Watch accomplishments ease the aches.
Watch foes walk away as friends.
Watch people become better people.

This is beauty,
true honest beauty.
And this is Cross Country.

Yeah, it's tough.

(reading through, i sound so aww.. to me, to me. i hope those heartless, unromantic boys frm the team dont read this >.<>

reading lyrics of when i'm gone by simple plan theres this part :

'it's like we're going through the emotions of scripted destiny'

hmmm... not exactly true, but at first glance it is kinda reflective of predestination ay?
in the cynical sense, scripted destiny... actly i like the phrase.

'cos every wasted day becomes a wasted chance'
that i agree.

i'm in search of something. something that i don't even know of. i spend everyday awaiting that day, anticipating that moment, dreaming about the day till it comes, preoccuping my mind about how i should react when it happens, what will happen, how others will respond, how thigns will change, how my life will change for the better(or for the worse :( )...but i can't seem to put my finger to it. what is it i'm in search for?