by the time i was seated at the pews, trying to block out the activities going on next to me causing so much frustration , i was so pissed off i could just blow up- rip the paper rachel was holding into pieces, scream ,stomp ard, run out of the place ,go for a long run.

but obviously i couldnt do that since i was sitting in front of the congregation.

so i did the 'hold your breath ,count to 1million' thing and tried to calm myself down. all my anger turned into a rambling of thoughts.

'wow, i am so in need of a debbie-cold-icy-bathe-shiver-like-crazytoexpelallthisanger right now. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee@!()@*!(! *imagines self pulling hair out* (i'll nvr do that in person. ouch) . i am so annoyyyed. because of this faith ,i have forgone a lot of fun things that came my way..but am not allowed to do because of what some pple envisioned Him saying to them,2000yrs ago, and recording it down. because of this faith i stopped myself from doing a lot of things i wanted to do for the experience. i've suffered much grief and bitterness and now, frustration. uuuuggggghhhh stop whiningggg*. right now, i wish daddyandmummy werent christians so we wont be too. he* is driving me crazzzzzy!!!!'

*referring to the little boy who refuses to go for sunday school.

then the speaker spoke. two things :
1) the christian life is hard. nobody said it'll be easy. take it or leave it
2) theres no human, heck, no one in fact, that you can have a lasting, loving relationship with -with you committing the same mistake of adultery, being unfaithful, going to every place other than Him for love- over and over again. except our creator(as in he created all of us, not only christians. chrsitians just believe in it, the rest dont..or maybe they do. aiyah this aint the point)

reminded me of one time when t.wendy addressed us so straightforwardly abt changing churches. in 2003 i think. i had a certain emotion(dontknow how to describe) then, i felt it again tdy.

then i felt bad for thinking abt all those 3 //graphs before.

(think in terms of this scenerio:
christian a: whoa look at B! shes a christian yet shes still like .... that =/ ohmygoodness....christian C: can you imagine how she'd be like without christ then ?)

"whoa siao. if not for this religion how much more screwed up will my life be. i'd cont being as abusive, hot tempered (i was worse then. but i stopped I CANT RMB WHY. only rmbed it was after a church camp in p5/6), impulsive,...etc"


slap you then you know says:oh my goodness
slap you then you know says:I AM SO GONNA DO SUCH A RUN ONE DAY!!!!!!! (run and run and run and run and run -at a happy pace of course- till your desire is satisfied.)
slap you then you know says:have you tried running at macritchie
Rudy David Wong says:not since sec school days
Rudy David Wong says:ahahahahah!
Rudy David Wong says:cross country is a different kind of run =)
Rudy David Wong says:that's why you all are pretty amazing!
Rudy David Wong says:=)
Rudy David Wong says:crossies!
Rudy David Wong says:Woo!!!
slap you then you know says:in jc it's called crossers. i think because crossies sound too girly for hte guys hahaha!
slap you then you know says:yeah different kind of running
slap you then you know says:but it's still long d so it's the same
slap you then you know says:more or less
Rudy David Wong says:hahaha!
slap you then you know says:and it's more fun
slap you then you know says:it's like embracing pain and nature at one go
slap you then you know says:unknowingly
slap you then you know says:the feeling is so raw and fresh

while talking with rudy, i pictured in my mind so vividly the blurness of the forest, the swaying of the trees as we run by (ha-ha jk), the breathlessness, yet the feeling of i'mlovingthis!letscontgoingoingoing!...(or maybe quicklyrunbacklaterqrunningbehindcatchupwithusthendie), etc... i feel so blessed to experience that. it's wonderful.

story behind my nick(nobody thinks im that violent ;)):
slap you then you know says:it's a quotethere was once my classmate disturbed another, then she got so pissed she said 'i slap you then you know' in her indian accent and fit of anger.classmate recounted it to us the next day and we kept laughing and laughingactly the lady who said it was a little annoyed but soon after she started laughing with us =p and even made a joke of it! 'slap yoU then yoU know!' (my class is 6u)

trg tmr!!