http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksvfWcvEH1A

wow they are great!

sg band somemore.... i like them. the indian singer looks like the rj pe teacher who does gigs !is it him is it him ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if4XoBaZYP0&feature=related he looks almost exactly like rj teacher there cos of the pe cap.

and tonight is a good night because of sth :) ah, made my day.or night. and it helped to revive back my lit side a bit...which is a miracle! did gp in abt 1/2hr. yay

i passed econs essay for the first time!!!! I GOT C. ccccc. i told mam ," i'm very happy, it's my first time passing essay" and she " why. you're not bad what" aww :) i couldnt resist i had to do a cute pose to the queen of cute of course. (and i nvr study for it some more. yaaaaaay. okay but i know even if i studied i wldnt do any much btr)

cathecatics. hahahha guess what cca cat is in. intercat.

cat says i look fresher today. though i felt kinda quite dead... but i attribute it to the LIVE MATCH I WATCHED YTD. brazil vs sg. woooooooooh. watching ronaldinho was like watching tv amplified size. i'm getting more impressed with the sg team .

-after the game, i'm laughing now. there were two guys next to rachel and i who were hanging on the railings at the grandstand overlooking the field.(we were trying to catch the players' attention) some of the players took off their shorts and threw up to the fans!! but 100m away from us so cant catch . zzz. then one of the organiser guy came over to talk to his friend in between 4 of us. blackcapman shouted, waving his ticket to organiserguy ,"heyhey! can you sign my ticket?"*1000. hahahahha. "can i have your shirt??" can you give him a ride home !" O.G. got so scared he walked away soon.

-aft a while coachlookingman went to clear the camping area for bra's 2nd half of the game and pick up the bottles. "can i have the bottle? CAN I HAVE A BOTTTLLLLLEEEEEEE" "can i have your SIGNNATTURE! " more random guys join us "can i have a bottle !" ahahhaha oh man. that was some insane sai .

-anw while walking to daddy's car we saw hordes of pple crowding at an entrance. we figured it was the exit where the players were gna come out frm. so rachel&i squeezed with them. perspired like hell man. then nitrogengirl behind me t her friend ,"nvm. just squeeze all e way!" the ma dahs were super pissed off at us and kept asking us to back off to no avail. rachel wanted to catch a glimpse of them. i was so nice to accompany her.

-so youd think janell didnt go. noooooooo she went. but was too obsessed with her manga. daddy had to recuperate after squeezing with us for a while.

today was a first time in years i felt like fainting while running. had full meal 2hrs before and bubbletea. slowed down to a dont know what, crawl?, but still felt so faint. then i went toilet to vomit. a lot of phlegm was generated man...arrggh annoying

it's amazing how one can lose fitness so quickly

3, and counting to many more...

3. (to previous post) cross.

i found my hands shivering when i typed that msg in the mrt.... =x oh my, hahaha.

i hope for the run this weekend, the same thing won't happen what happened ytd... up till now, i don't know if it was a right decision to agree to go for it.

ytd was games day at botanics. it was a nice time, but extremely tiring. the night worship thing was nice. i went to wash up so had to make my way back alone in the dark. saw the statue landmark which joyce told me to look out for. then i was left alone with my senses. heard vague faint singing in the air but it was very subtle. it was very scary yet cool.

still have yet to think of a phrase to capture the Goodbye scene at the airport... sigh, goodbyes are never easy to do with. all of you, please don't ever say goodbye to me? i won't be able to take it ..

britain's got talent! 2008 winner george sampson. britain's got talent winner will get to perform in front of the royal highness. and it is on:

His appearance in the Royal Variety Performance is scheduled for 11 Dec 2008. Tickets available from:www.eabf.org.uk/rvp1.htm

omggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. it's after my a levels. after after after!. okay but i'm sane.

my reason for the way i am:

i find more risk in putting in my best than doing things halfheartedly.

read that from somewhere and found it applicable to me.

anw. i realise... i realised that a very deep scar has been left in there. and it has tarnished my trust glass wall. and i think that explains 99.99999% of my actions towards certain Pple. so to You all, i'm really sorry. i'll stop it. okay i will really try to. and i will try my best not to nest any unnecessary duetoownimagination anger. not good not good..

anw today i finally wrote 'best 3 achievements' for resume. i got so cynical halfway through it i was writing loads of shit and feeling so jaded and this whole praising crap thing just to bloody get into university. where 's the time when sincerity and humbleness took stage. okay my thoughts are not laid down properly but ,basically, i'm against this 'best 3 achievements' writing thing.

that was 1. 2:this morning's incident in the car between mummy and j. that was a total settingthedaytohell. i dont like it that i'm affected by these things so easily.i'mnoteveninvolved lah. 3.icant rmb what i was reminded abt these 6yrs. 4.iwasthinkingabtallthewhatifsandsecondaryschool.

by the time math period, (ICANTTHINK STRAIGHT COS OF ALL THESE ARGH. SO MY PHRASING IS VERY OFF SRY) i was so uuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhh heavy headed i just collasped. as in ko-ed. apparently mam asked whether i wanted to go and wash my face. i didnt hear that at all.

but all was okay when iwent for chem. which i was intending to skip cos i was really omg.i'mgonnadie... (and it's not physically tired mind you) dr. chan was really lame as usual. but i was so x_x i didnt bother abt the energetics and just propped my heavy hand on my hands and listen to him. but he made things better with his jokes and all lah. so to everyone out there. though that guy is full of crap, he is nice. and a good teacher :)

Relient K:Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

I watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can’t let that happen again
‘cause then you’ll see my heart
in the saddest state it’s ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won’t take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I’ve been
‘cause who I’ve been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I’m ready to try and never become that way again
‘cause who I am hates who I’ve been.
Who I am hates who I’ve been.

i don't too but i can't help myself...

but here it is, i don't like forcing people. by it into religion or conversation or going out or studying etc etc. and i feel like i'm doing so now, but i still do it... annoying.

in a neutral tone:
i can't get this out of my head.

ytd was interhse games and this whole week is just very emotional taxing for me but it helped to life my spirits a little... a little. i'm not being competitive here but every defeat reminded me of my life so its kinda =x oooh ouch each time. qf nl ag looked rather frustrated with each loss esp during the small pool game. but the dodgeball game was the best! super fun :) hahaha, yeayea things are fun when it goes your way and youre winning and you've so many adoring supporters. i know it was a fluke( for the one that i scored) but i felt really happy that i helped the grp in some way. everyone was so happy we managed to get an equalizer i felt so happy too.as in, genuinely damn happy....! thanks to yl who kept encouraging us man. you're the best og mate for today! and audrey for trying so hard :):) sorry to the 5 of yall if any of you come here. i can't stand my skill-less skills. i think you all are great, thanks for the memories :)

but while we were playing one of the games, this girl sitting along the poolside commented A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY, "they are so noob."
i have only this to say to you, be glad i am a Christian and have morals to follow.
okay i shant comment anymore. must control

al says:
yea i'm gonna call my kids sush...sashim...yakitor...
al says:
then can b e sashimee sushee and yakitoree
al says:
or can be tiffanee also..ha
i tink u're cute says:
HAHAHAHHA
i tink u're cute says:
ohyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i tink u're cute says:
yayayyayaya
i tink u're cute says:
name a kid after me
i tink u're cute says:
so touched
i tink u're cute says:
or can be alvinee too!
i tink u're cute says:
;D
al says:
arh...tt's me wat..

that arh... part sounded so rachel ng to me. she'll be someone i'd love to make friends with if we were the same age.

i went for a wedding today :) i recognised the groom! he is the uncle that pple say are 'twins' with my dad cos they looked very alike last time. the game part was what struck me. cos he was forfeited to eat an apparently very spicy bowl of noodles then the bride v shyly 'can i help him?' awwww so sweet... but they enjoyed the food anw. or so it looked.

i wanna know how to control my emotions- the anticipating one, the regretful one, the scared of failure one... i wanna know how to control them. i want to be able to stare into space again and think that life, despite it's shit and trials, is still beautiful and hopeful. i'm so weak :(

Demi Lovato- this is me. go check out this song. so girly sweet nice sounding :) whatever the lyrics, cant catch it. alright, back to fighting those emotions again. ha ha

http://www.results.schoolsports.sg/sectrack/ss_home.php?mypage=session.inc

tbh, i feel both gladness and sadness when i go through this website

happy for my friends cos many did well
i feel really proud of them
it's this feeling i 've always wanted to give my friends, family etc

i tink u're cute says:

1. do no look shots - look another place and shoot at the people you intending to shoot so they will not expect it.
i tink u're cute says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i tink u're cute says:
waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh.... i think i'll not expect where my ball will go too man >.<
audrey was, is, forever will be says:
hahah at first i was like huh
audrey was, is, forever will be says:
i thought got typo
audrey was, is, forever will be says:
like " do not look shots"
audrey was, is, forever will be says:
HAHAHHAHA
audrey was, is, forever will be says:
can u imagine throwing the ball in the wrong direction cos u're trying not to look
audrey was, is, forever will be says:
damn loser
audrey was, is, forever will be says:
HAHAH

audreytengissocute:)

Darren Hayes: So Beautiful

Whether I'm right or wrong, there's no phrase that hits
Like an ocean needs the sand or a dirty old shoe that fits
And if all the world was perfect, I would only ever want to see your scars
You know they can have their universe, but we'll be in the dirt designing stars

And darling, you know...
You make me feel so beautiful
Nowhere else in the world I want to be
You make me feel so beautiful

Whether I'm up or down, there's no crowd to please
I'm like a faith without a clause to believe in it
And if all the world was smiling, I would only ever want to see your frown
You know they can sail away in sunsets, we'll be right here stranded on the ground

Just happy to be found...
You make me feel so beautiful
Nowhere else in the world I want to be
You make me feel so beautiful

I have lost my illusions, I have drowned in your words
I have left my confusion to a cynical world
I am throwing myself at things I don't understand
Discover enlightenment holding your hand

You are so beautiful...
Yeah, darling, you know!
That you make me feel so beautiful
Nowhere else in the world I want to be
Yeah, you make me feel so beautiful...

Darling, you know...
You make me feel so beautiful
Yeah, darling, you know!
That you make me feel so beautiful
(You are beautiful, you are beautiful...)
(You are, you are, you are, you are so beautiful...)
Yeah, darling, you know!
(You are beautiful, oh you are, you are so beautiful...)

....

i actly contemplated sharing with you all and who I'll be how i feel about yesterday's race, about how i feel now... but as it was formulating in my mind, i just can't bring myself to blog about it anymore because a lot of vulgarities will be spewed .i'll lose my good girl image and i'll pollute my mind.

so maybe another time when i've cooled down. and hey, isn't that what i said abt cross natls? i keep letting myself down man. and it aint only me, but my teammates, coach, family etc. a redeemable chance thrown away because of ,as what my friend put it, laziness. much as it is so blatant and pissed off -ing , i do find some truth in it. which stinks even more. because it's not his fault for saying so. but mine. i must have done something for someone to say such a statement abt someone yes. maybe thats why i even went to talk with him in the first place, to have some crude truth thrown in my face.to have a scolding because i can't do it so to myself .

you know when you're angry at someone, you can do mean things to him like give him the cold war or destroy his lecture notes or say mean things to him.

but when you're angry at yourself, and this anger ain't gonna simmer down, how? how can you avoid yourself? how can you destroy yr lecture notes when you've a levels in 4mths? how can you say mean things to yourself? ( ....what i'm gonna say to myself, i already know it, they have always been swimming ard my head...) this feeling sucks.

when you're angry at someone, when they have done something wrong and you have to scold him or throw some harsh truths about reality to him, it's easy (relatively). just confront him and 'HEY YOU loser. listen up ..etc etc'

when i look at myself in the mirror, i see someone who deserves a bashing, a scolding. that girl there needs some serious trashing and rebuking man. seriously, for all that's been blessed and entrusted in her hands...what the hell goes through that screwed up mind?

how do you give yourself a much deserved beating . how how how. i must recover quickly. i 'm going nuts thinking about it.
screwing up a levels will not be doing myself any harm at all, it will be letting down my coaches, teachers, classmates, parents and maker.

i've not been a very good follower but yeah, i should try to salvage my relationship with the play-maker as much as i (think i) can. obedience and being good and all .at least my 17yrs of going to church has put some sanity in me.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-hXKRilPNpc

i find the video a bit odd. but the song is hip like hippotamus (shucks how to spell hippopotamus . it's hippo po tamus?!?!? hahahahha so funny. i know it's correct cos blogger is now updated like microsoft word. underlines wrongly spelt words. maybe sg embarking on speak good english campaign.)

everybody's asking the girl to blog. but you know what, i've nothing much to blog.. my mind's pretty much occupied with 4 things only.

1 studies 2 track 3 - 4 -

3 and 4 cant be disclosed .

and while i'm thinking abt 3 and 4, whoa, it's so perplexing and man, what am i thinking about.. i'm 17 yrs old lah. soon to be 18.... sooon to be, sooner than later. oh my, now that's gonna be a no. 5 hahaha

k whatever. back to track thinking. 7.5 rounds. i've been trying to psyche myself up by doing everything in 7.5s . like when i swim, i count in terms of 7.5 sets. if you get what i mean