"when I lose myself, I think of you"

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly!
Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably...
And never regret anything that made you smile!

from a chain email haha
1 i hadnt had a chain email in a long while
2 i kinda miss it ? maybe cos it's only one in a while
3 it was rly cute
4 i advocate that msg v strongly ! wheepz

got a lot i wna blog abt but leave it for another time haha cos ive sch in half an hr and i'm still home

day 12 of sickness... mm yeah that's it. haha. oh and maybe...that i spent 106$ on meds stuff
good thing was that it is kinda working :))

oh and ytd, during dinner (aww yes, fang ryan and i had dinner :) to which mama and jan joined us quite later aft !) , i suddenly rmbed tt ryan and jan have the same sch song!!!!-

HEY YALL. HEAR THIS. RYAN AND JANELL HAVE THE SAME SCHOOL SONGGGGGGGGGGG. HOW KEWT !??!??!!? -

so then i started singing the chorus (OK I RLY DONT RMB HOW/WHO TAUGHT ME THE CHORUS), and tried inducing ryan t join me in the singing. to which, yes, he completed the last line. (ah.... cream -.-) then anyway janell came home and i told her of the wondrous discovery. so we tried t get them two singing tgt. it was so funny. cos ryan started singing e chorus, to which janell cldnt follow cos it was too high (hahahaa) . ryan paused. and sang the last line WHICH WAS WAAAAAAAAAY TOO HIGH for j. hahaha it was all the more funny cos tt last line must be sung w great gusto. ok wtv. it was just so funny. hehehehheheh. k done.

i guess i shld STOP being so harsh on lvp.... it's not like i'm all that great and wonderful and powerful and awesome and winner myself...

yes.

pictures on fb
aw maaan, i've reached the age when friends are gng overseas t study OR TRAVEL FOR FUN (!!!!!!!!!!!!! x( ) and they post soooooooo gross photos. it's flooding my fb i'm getting so annoyed! xPPP

ya right. omg they are so nice nice nice nice nice. i wna go overseas :( not tt i'm implying that singapore is ugly.. when i walk ard and look at my surroundings, i can imagine tourists taking pics of them, posting them on fb and their friends saying that they rly wna come singapore. =)

sickness update
day..... 9 of sickness =/// just left coughing and phlegm t recover from so, yay :) but i developed some bruises/sores wtv on my hands this morning..dno whether it's sth t worry abt. (aunty lisa said no) and i discovered blood in my phlegm ytd. which jst means i've been coughing too much tt my throat lining got torn right .

youtube~
watching this : STRAIGHT NO CHASER the christmas can can. omg it's superrrrrrrrrrrr cute. the lyrics and the way the boys are prancing ard . oh my goodness haha. and my 'boyf' is daaaaamn cute in it. hahahahha. (ps. i dno that guy's name so im forced t address him as : my 'boyf' . i do not derive pleasure from calling him tt ) and their faces are glistening... is it sweat or glitter ??? haha.

running
Some train only because they want to achieve a fitter physique. Others train two times a day because they aim to achieve personal bests and win medals. -the "lattest" part struck me...... but i read on and . More often than not, the individuals who train because of personal gains will EVENTUALLY lose their motivation and stop training as hard as they once did.
yup that's right. hah

dream vs reality
i've been sleeping so much tt ... my normal days are such that it follows the opposite routine of an average person's. ie, their awake times=my slping times, vice versa. so like i'm awake for abt 2-3hrs, then i go back t slp for maybe 3-5. follow tt routine through the whole day, then at 12 midnight i slp till abt 10am. i've been resting so much tt for one particular memory i have, i dno whether it was a dream or reality . it means so much more t me cos it's something tht, if true, will hurt me so...i guess that's what is stopping me frm checking whether it rly happened.

God, was that really you?
another one. if you watched inception, then you'd be familiar with the 'dream in a dream' concept? i had that one day.

(lvl2 dream= dream in a dream) in my lvl2dream, i dreamt that God spoke to me. in words. not through symbols or writing or bible or wtv. it was a clear distinct voice. i even knew the exact msg he was telling me (which i'm not saying here haha) . my heart was beating v quickly , there were waves of shiver sent through my body throughout the whole time... and for an instant, 'the flash of light' even happened. when i " woke up" , so now i'm in lvl1dream, i was telling someone: "God spoke to me while i was asleep.... Yes, i'm very certain... (how did you know it was God's voice?). you know how people always say stuff like 'you'd know it if it's love... you'd just know it if God was speaking to you...' that sort of thing... when God was speaking to me in that dream, it was just like that- i just knew it. " i think because i kept repeating the word 'dream' in my explanation, i realised i was still dreaming. and that really sucked. cos in reality , i dno if that was a dream i conjured up(cos the msg is sth i want to hear...), or that was really a msg from God. but the heart pumping quickly, the 'waves of shiver', that 'flash of light' , i'm VERY certain it happened. i told j abt it and she said tt i shld check whether it is in line w the bible...

farewell speech
alrightz, too much self talk alr. bye.
tks all for your well wishes anw (like jl) and fay, YES jys=jiayous hahaa. my chinese sch friend cfmed tt :) Z if you aren't gna tell me who you are i'm gna delete your tags off... sigh, sry, but i rly dont like not knowing who you are

haha i'm so nice t label my //graphs. jst read e //graphs w headings tt interests you (Y)

11 Jan 11, 00:30
z: u alr have a plan in mind just that u feel its beyond u. just believe it urself. jys

who are you?? omg and arent you the same person from the past... what's jys? and , no, i dont have a plan =/ if you say so, then what is it?? tell me hahaha i wna knoww

8 Jan 11, 20:38
fay: and why sexy lady says she reads your blog i thought if they're spam thn they don't actly read your blog
8 Jan 11, 20:38
fay: don't worry tiffany

YEAH. haha i qn-ed tt girl too when i saw that tag. they must be getting smarter... but stupid still cos WHY PUT YOUR NAME AS SEXY LADY. i'm more likely t be attracted t HAMSUM BOIZXZXX. lollllll. or this guy from straight no chaser. he's rly cool. i think i've shown you his vid before..

hi blog. i went t the doc 2 days ago and took the meds. it made me feel btr! but it caused the phlegm to come out. mama says it's meant t help me spit all the phlegm away..which is rly tough yknow?cos it gets like stuck at my throat there... tdy, while preparing for sch, i suddenly felt like fainting, was v pale , so i stayed home... now i got a slight headache, am feeling kinda feverish.. , i think i'm getting worse :( sianzxzz. feeling rather weak and groggy now.....

-this feels so pessimistic...sorry x( what a start t the year =/ first it was that "car accident", then i supposedly lost my phone (!!!!!!!), and now i'm rlyyyy sick x(

good abt 2011: seeing ryan on his 1st day of sch !!
: talking to P :) (actly i dno... it was COS OF TT THAT STARTED THE SICKNESS ROLLING LOL)
: N for helping t print notes x( haha i still feel bad abt it but wtv
: mmm youth camp shld fit into this i guess. tho i 've not been following up......

i rmb one night being TERRIBLY OVERWHELMED BY MY SICKNESS. daddy came into the room, talks abt his SONG (this song hes been playing everyday jst t learn it =/) , pauses & "you're crying.... " , AND CONTS W HIS TALK ABT THE SONG -.- daddy's a pig. lolllllllllll !?

my oh my, it's only 2 weeks into the new year.

Cai Jing: and im older than you! HAHA. so yea. no worries we got long way to grow up:) sorry for spam heh. xxx
: to which i also felt like a retard during & afterward. like 'what the heck is wrong w me' kind
: bout the anger management part. No worries you see i so chill i also had my frustrations moments too
: He will reveal His plans for you! And if anything you can talk to someone, i will be here too!!
: and bout your As/uni plans talk to Him bout it? Im sure He will know what's best for you
: it's normal! we just have to place our faith in Him that He will make each year better than the last
: me too i do come here! and i have the same thoughts as you during the countdown bout 2010 and 2011

haiyohhh... it's like, i feel that i nvr get anything answered. but because i need to make a decision by a certain date, i make a decision on the spot tt feels e most comfortable w me. haha. anw spamming is ok :) i do that too =p yeaaaa i guess we got a lot of growing up t do... but i've always wondered, why do ppl always say tt? does it mean tt, when we are older, we are expected t be more 'chill' and get angry less? haha =x and pls -.-you're only a yr older..

4 Jan 11, 09:53
junlong: hoi hoi! me still do come here.

tks :)

4 Jan 11, 01:36
mav: CHEER UP TIFFANY!! I still come here to read, and i'm not exactly looking forward to 2011 too...

tks mav :) anyway we shld talk soon. hahaha which i will be more intentional abt soon !


i'm.... sickkkk. i'm sick i'm sick i'm sick :((( the area ard my throat hurts...??? :((( and my head feels so groggy. ugh.. and my head hurts when i cough, cos of the pressure or the ...recoil thinggy (like how marshall forgot abt the ______ when he first played w a pistol thing. haha ) but. ok. i must get out of this stage cos lalala. ok I DNO WHAT I'M SAYING ALR. I JUST WNA SAY THAT . I'M SICK :( AND I'M UPSET THAT I'M SICK. :(

cos i got the impression that no one comes here ,

:( mum has been telling me the past few days to retake a's this year and try to go to a local uni next year...which i ttly ignored la .cos i've alr completed one year.

but today when she mentioned it again, it has found its way into me... and i dno what to do anymore :( initially i'd always just talk back. tdy i was just ...so sick and tired and sad to respond :(

in line with that, i started the year v badly.. i lost my iphone. which was a huge blow to me. not only was the material loss v great, emotional, i was hit very strongly. i felt like i lost something v close to me... and so many thoughts ran through my head tt it was a really traumatic experience.. thank God that my phone was returned.. another time bad that came out of that incident was that , when daddy kept scolding me abt it, in front of ergu and zhang some more, i shouted " just shut up lah" . =/ what has become of me.....

the past few days have been really bad too while driving dad ard... he in the passenger seat, me in the driver seat and both of us raising our voices at each other like nobody's business lol.. and to think that on christmas day he said "i realised that in all my years of taking care of you, invr knew once when have you gotten angry'. =/

watchnight service was really bad cos it was really scary. the anticipation of counting down.. 2010 was not filled with a lot of great stuff, but it was a great year overall for me.. and i really cldnt let go of it. i was so scared to usher the new year in.. what if 2011 isn't as good ?

but right now.... oh God. it's eating my brain up. it's eating me from inside out. it's sucking my soul away.. i cant take this...