cos i got the impression that no one comes here ,

:( mum has been telling me the past few days to retake a's this year and try to go to a local uni next year...which i ttly ignored la .cos i've alr completed one year.

but today when she mentioned it again, it has found its way into me... and i dno what to do anymore :( initially i'd always just talk back. tdy i was just ...so sick and tired and sad to respond :(

in line with that, i started the year v badly.. i lost my iphone. which was a huge blow to me. not only was the material loss v great, emotional, i was hit very strongly. i felt like i lost something v close to me... and so many thoughts ran through my head tt it was a really traumatic experience.. thank God that my phone was returned.. another time bad that came out of that incident was that , when daddy kept scolding me abt it, in front of ergu and zhang some more, i shouted " just shut up lah" . =/ what has become of me.....

the past few days have been really bad too while driving dad ard... he in the passenger seat, me in the driver seat and both of us raising our voices at each other like nobody's business lol.. and to think that on christmas day he said "i realised that in all my years of taking care of you, invr knew once when have you gotten angry'. =/

watchnight service was really bad cos it was really scary. the anticipation of counting down.. 2010 was not filled with a lot of great stuff, but it was a great year overall for me.. and i really cldnt let go of it. i was so scared to usher the new year in.. what if 2011 isn't as good ?

but right now.... oh God. it's eating my brain up. it's eating me from inside out. it's sucking my soul away.. i cant take this...