is it normal to intentionally stay away from food to the point of hunger ..so that in some way , this way, you are connected to your humane self.

sometimes my mind is so numbed of emotions, thoughts and feelings that i am not living; i exist as a mere organism (i have explained this mental state of being-or lack of- before...something that i still struggle to put into words). no nothing is happening, i'm just studying really hard now. engagement in this activity is akin to ridding myself of all personal thoughts and memories -so that the impressions these knowledge make can be fresh and succinct.(i feel the need to constantly explain myself in fear that i appear out of sorts and weird...) pause: my poor vocab bank makes expressing myself tough. anyhow, i am seeing the light for finance....is it that understandable and interesting and awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeee or do i have a flair for this module...? hahaha! i'd love to take all finance mods next sem please <3 p="p">

I think this is how i know :

When i found something that wasn't in my favour, I closed up immediately. Because what i seeked in that situation wasnt the subject but what obtaining the subject meant.

I know because i'm doing things that make me look like a noooob. And its not everyday i come across a piece of wood like this .

Ok sorry im not very subtle in this haha @.@

My head is screaming get a grip, girl !

I guess this means more to me than to you..

Oh dear..whats wrong w me. No, i do know why im like this ,i just dont like it :( even i cannot control myself @.@ haaa ok. will this matter in a month? HOPEFULLY NOT.....!

Im spent. I dont wna go back to sim tmrrrrr

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/i-have-a-crush-on-you/

Trenet.. What if getting to know them is the opposite of what always happens..

Fantasy huh... Fantasies dont happen in this real, practical, forlorn world..dont they? I feel like this question is going to be challenged....,,, : )

Anyhow ive war to face. Along with some extra weights known as 'extra shit i cast upon myself' and 'laziness' and a whole pound of defeatish mentality :(

“Don’t say we aren't right for each other, the way I see it is… We aren't right for anyone else.” -The Cutting Edge (1992)

Aww

"i will follow myheart-because i wna live in a (fairytale) world, not in a practical world"

not exactly how i feel but so true! this world will be viewed by-and thus interpretated in your mind-through your eyes so it is up to you which lenses you wna use

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkGzqpGx1KU&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMLeJsen1Go&feature=related

Here we stand
Worlds apart, hearts broken in two
Sleepless nights
Losing ground
I'm reaching for you

Feelin' that it's gone
Can change your mind
If we can't go on
To survive the tide love divides

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched
And went our separate ways
If he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
You know I still love you
Though we touched
And went our separate ways

Troubled times
Caught between confusions and pain
Distant eyes
Promises we made were in vain

If you must go, I wish you love
You'll never walk alone
Take care my love
Miss you love


I still love you girl
I really love you girl
And if he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
No, No

gone are the days i can look at such lyrics and form my own definite interpretation.. or even be able to hold discussions mentally. zzz

http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/photos/organized-20-clever-ideas-repurposed-slideshow/#crsl=%252Fphotos%252Forganized-20-clever-ideas-repurposed-slideshow%252Forganized-20-clever-ideas-repurposed-photo-143720161.html

omg the photos are really pretty! :)))

it's so nice to be creative like that

"Many a false step is made by standing still." -Lottery Ticket (2010)

Anyway: to remind me when im gna get all angsty in the near future

'At the end of the day as what I'd always tell myself, even if it doesn't work out at least you get to find out it doesn't! That you've tried and you can move on w no regrets/second thoughts.

Thanks so much for this prep talk. Actly, i just had a convo with my sis. We were talking abt how the fear of failure has caused so much pain and regret. And ive always lived my life taking the 'safer' route and forgoing many possibilities... Maybe i shld step up my game and start putting my hopes out on the line and see how far it can take me.. :) '

omg, i sound so weird. why does anyone wna talk to me. hahahahahha

:( actly i've been told by a person that if we weren;t biologically related, she wouldnt even have made acquaintances with me.... sigh....

hi ryan. cream little puff that was SOOOOOO adorable when he got excited and tried to explain a running man episode to me. ~

Interesting:random stranger frm my past just found me on fb.. Its so odd cos he still speaks the same while my tone is much more matured nw

Ah woke up feeling like crap..dont know why this cream i put always makes me tear..ha..

Okay 3weeks to the end. No excuses!!!

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/26inxf/:1-wCIen!1:Lg0i..1R/www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html/

haha, yeah girls are irrational... sorry :(

on a side note, i guess it's not as socially acceptable to 'play men' than to 'play girls'. thus the emergence of  all these cynically made  'nice guys', 'friendzone', 'brozone'....terms.

had a good run tdy ! :) and i made a new friend (after like 1mth + or so...). seems rly nice. and i just added her on fb!!! (yes i rarely go to that extent...so... fingers crossed! :) )

Its relativity; perspective. Throw me away now while i am still strong. Need to e !

????? HAH. Anyway, finally listened to the whole saxaphone cd, awesome stuffff. Some songs were so moving my insides were shaken. I want more!!!!

(didnt know i made so many faces while studying hehe). zzz, i need to remind myself tht im here but im not of the world's. !

i think i know how it feels to be like that, i think i've been like that before -may become like that- , so i'm trying to keep it in...but this sucks :( i cant concentrate !!! damn it, is this worth it....

'what's the point of being bad when there's nothing good to stop you?'
Megamind 2010

find this self-torturing, pretentious, split personality ish sentence rather true...

i think i watched close to 4 episodes of himym tonight. and when that happens, i'm pretty stunned by reality and kinda desperately wna escape from it...

i'm reminded of how ted was struggling between 2 girls but one day it dawned upon him that what he really wants is what barney had (at that time) for nora. in any case, i'm switching off more upset than when before because...BARNEY BROKE UP WITH NORA :(( and robin was breaking up with kevin :((( double sadness. but then it ended w barney getting rejected by robin .... omg, triple emoness ttm let the sparklers and candles and fireworks display begin... !!!

had a pretty good run ytd at ntu's campus run event. :) got 250$ worth of 3M and facial pdts too (yes i'm not gna get over it :p ) .i wonder how different, hopefully btr, my life wld be if i eventually got my ass into ntu .

anyway, you know what? past few days have been crazy.... (maybe because of the incessant brooding over the pending examinations and the prep required. key word: brooding. haahaaa but wtv, i'm just gng to flow with my thoughts now: )  i want a turnaround. right now. however, for such to take place, i need to make changes in my life huh? and yknow what?i'm scared nuts. i dont understand why though, because im really sick of my current life and anything different will be a release from it, a relief if i may.

i want real in my life

Robin :Why am I constantly looking for reasons to not be happy?

Maybe because the idea of finally being happy terrifies you

HIMYM (S7)

"It is better to be gullible and generous than to be suspicious and stingy." Bill Bright

(if i cld, i'd wish this whole week to be better ! :) )

http://annaandponcho.wordpress.com/ -> friend's blog. she has really amazing photography skills :)

my resolve from ytd night (although was very wavered to being with) is gone. but yknow what, it's the pink elephant theory. so if i want to , i'll do it if i can..?..

i shld think i can leave my melb stuff aside till exams are over. now i just left to complete my resume..on top of my blatant urgent need to start studying!!!!

not been able to post much reflective stuff (hey, what abt my big day when i commemorated 1 year of lawful adulthood) but...all is forgiveable because my examiners will be looking at my 'scrawled out in 2hrs' papers and not this.

was introduced to sth interesting: we (sgporeans) do not belong to a country but a business empire. for the recordddd,  i agree with the statement in a reflective,netural way.

yeeengz was really cool tdy. shes amazing me each time we speak! it was really comforting to have her say this 'what i'll tell you is to reflect on what went wrong and seek to improve on it. no use crying over split milk, but what you can do is to prevent it in the future. Don't be too hard on yourself'

(i feel really superficial and a bit embarrassed to be posting sth full of other people's opinions and so few of mine.... but hey, lets be reminded of 4th //graph from the top! ha)

I wna discuss abt you because you have been making me very perplexed.. But i dont know where to start or how to do this..

I hate this feeling, though, so naturally i shld avoid you at all costs. It will be tough initially, but it will get better eventually.. If you care, leave me alone!!!!pls? If not, do about something abt this...

What are all these worldly possessions?, All the achievements, if you cant find your placing in the world?

(haha but okay ,this is friends collection +2 other siblings' of medals. INSANE...! Its rlycool, she has 7 other siblings in total. )

omg..... please act your age.... :( it's been really tough hanging around you....

on another note, why am i in such a saddened mood tngt? :(
i thought i was tired but a friend asked 'are you sure it's because youre tired?'

to me, yes. what else can it be? tiredddd. tmr i'm finally having a free day all to myself. and .i.will.get down to doing some work !!!

then the person on the other side of the message might be like, 'omg tiffany actually cares for me!! 😱😱😱😭😭😳😳😳😳☺☺☺😊😊😊😃😃😃😃😃"

Can the emoticons be seen ? Cos they are damn cute !

So anyway , these past two weeks were pretty tough but i hope for better days ahead.. :)

'so much have happened in all your xx years, but theres so little that you can capture'
-ok, i bet i wont understand the depth this statement means to me now, in a few weeks time. But im too lazy to note it down :) see ,i just proved tht statement through this situation haha

Ok last lecture with coolest lecturer ever