Friday, June 29, 2012
been thinking about how i have forgone a lot of activities that bring joy to my life because they are perceived to be a 'waste of time'. but i'm reminded that if sth makes me happy, then the time spent on it is a good investment. furthermore, not doing things that i enjoy means that i'm wasting my life away right?
rawthoughts
rawthoughts
Monday, June 25, 2012
1. why? why do you go around my life and discourage me, and put me down like that?
i can just imagine you being tied to a chair, hair in a messy rage, sweat trickling down your neck and blood streaming down the left side of your face.... while i'm ten feet away, weight against my palms on the table. i'm dripping with sweat too, agaped at the reality/surreality of all that is happening. my eyes are cast downwards... with fear, with confusion, with hatred, then back with confusion again. my knees are buckling, my ankles are struggling to keep me standing up.
slowly i lift my gaze to your tiredsome worn out face. i stare straight into your bloodshot spiritless eyes, and i ask you the question that i started this post with.
i feel that i've learnt to hurt people. keyword: learnt. that means i was taught this lesson by someone. and sometimes i take this lesson and execute it against my teacher too. i feel really bad, but then i think, wasn't it you that taught me all these?
2. haha, ohwell....... himym really made my day. jenny and i discussed this before; barney is such a playerrrr (a character of the world which we realllllly detest) yet we still feel a certain connection towards him. our reason was because he has caused our expectations of him to lower so much that when he does sth sweet for a girl, it IS a big deal.
now, i'm thinking of another reason. because we find ourselves in him. maybe we aren't flawed in the sense taht we are v sexually immoral, but we fail terribly in another aspect. yet, he eventually manages to find his footing in life :) ( YES , if you got it and you hvnt watched s6 of himym, THAT'S RIGHT. I SPOILT THINGS . HAHAHA)
3. aww man. i'm youtubing sth rly embarrassing now which i wont even say here for my future self to be reminded of... but it's making me reallllly warmthy inside :)
-this was from 2011, between the 4th and 9th month. WOW, i'm scary when i'm angry haha
i can just imagine you being tied to a chair, hair in a messy rage, sweat trickling down your neck and blood streaming down the left side of your face.... while i'm ten feet away, weight against my palms on the table. i'm dripping with sweat too, agaped at the reality/surreality of all that is happening. my eyes are cast downwards... with fear, with confusion, with hatred, then back with confusion again. my knees are buckling, my ankles are struggling to keep me standing up.
slowly i lift my gaze to your tiredsome worn out face. i stare straight into your bloodshot spiritless eyes, and i ask you the question that i started this post with.
i feel that i've learnt to hurt people. keyword: learnt. that means i was taught this lesson by someone. and sometimes i take this lesson and execute it against my teacher too. i feel really bad, but then i think, wasn't it you that taught me all these?
2. haha, ohwell....... himym really made my day. jenny and i discussed this before; barney is such a playerrrr (a character of the world which we realllllly detest) yet we still feel a certain connection towards him. our reason was because he has caused our expectations of him to lower so much that when he does sth sweet for a girl, it IS a big deal.
now, i'm thinking of another reason. because we find ourselves in him. maybe we aren't flawed in the sense taht we are v sexually immoral, but we fail terribly in another aspect. yet, he eventually manages to find his footing in life :) ( YES , if you got it and you hvnt watched s6 of himym, THAT'S RIGHT. I SPOILT THINGS . HAHAHA)
3. aww man. i'm youtubing sth rly embarrassing now which i wont even say here for my future self to be reminded of... but it's making me reallllly warmthy inside :)
-this was from 2011, between the 4th and 9th month. WOW, i'm scary when i'm angry haha
some things tt i wna rmb from kiss dating goodbye
if you've been following, you'd know that i recently dragged myself through a book called 'kiss dating goodbye' -for a selfish motive really, but turned out to be a blessing in disguise- and i've learnt qte a fair bit! decided to share it here, it will be a good reminder to all out there.
firstly: Redeeming the time-Making the most of your singleness
1. Hustle while you wait
This means that we are not to waste the time we have on our hands. God entrusted us various talents and gifts, and expects us to to guard and use them wisely. 'Will we give Him a return on His investment in us?' Before we even begin a romantic rship, we have work to do! -Bad habits to get rid of, good habits to develop and character to build.
2. 'Watering camels'
The story of Rebekah (from the bible)-about how she met Abraham's servant while she was performing her daily task of collecting water from some well. The impt point to note is that "Rebekah was able to meet God's divine apptment for her life bcos she was faithfully carrying out her current obligations".
3. Practice now!
In that, you practice the skills that are required for married life now. Skills such as:
-Intimacy with closed ones present in one's life now (eg. family members)
-Seeking God with others (starting off with family first, then branching out to close, trusted friends)
-Financial responsibility (self explanatory!)
-Parenthood
-Practical life skills
The point of all these is not for the sole purpose of getting married though, one must note! The real reasons for these is so that one can grow in maturity and Christlikeness. becoming a good spouse is just a by-pdt.
There are-of course-other lists to help single people in this journey if they are struggling. Come ask me to borrow the book if you're interested, i'm tired of typing, haha! i wna share one more section of the book-though not related to dating :
This last chapter is entitled: Someday I'll have my own story to tell.
It started off with Josh recounting the story of how his parents met. his dad was onstage playing the guitar, his mum was one of the audiences and attracted his attention. after the gig, he approached her- very hesitantly of course (i'd imagine the mum to be rather attractive cos josh is qte good looking himself, haha !) .
ANYWAY, this is what josh said of his dad : " here, someone my age, grips me. at this point in his (josh's dad) life, he has only recently returned to the Lord and to his hometown of dayton. i steal closer to my mum's table when i notice my dad try to appear aimless as he wanders in her direction. i had forgotten that as a young man, my dad faced an unknown and confusing world too. "
that struck me cos i have never thought abt things that way. (even though jan told me about rmbing that my parents started out as kids before, venturing into the unknown and taking risks all...)
OKAY, to end off the post, i quote josh's last line of the book:
I encourage you (and continue to remind myself) to write a love story with your life that you'll feel proud to tell.
-next up will be on thad's memorial run!!
firstly: Redeeming the time-Making the most of your singleness
1. Hustle while you wait
This means that we are not to waste the time we have on our hands. God entrusted us various talents and gifts, and expects us to to guard and use them wisely. 'Will we give Him a return on His investment in us?' Before we even begin a romantic rship, we have work to do! -Bad habits to get rid of, good habits to develop and character to build.
2. 'Watering camels'
The story of Rebekah (from the bible)-about how she met Abraham's servant while she was performing her daily task of collecting water from some well. The impt point to note is that "Rebekah was able to meet God's divine apptment for her life bcos she was faithfully carrying out her current obligations".
3. Practice now!
In that, you practice the skills that are required for married life now. Skills such as:
-Intimacy with closed ones present in one's life now (eg. family members)
-Seeking God with others (starting off with family first, then branching out to close, trusted friends)
-Financial responsibility (self explanatory!)
-Parenthood
-Practical life skills
The point of all these is not for the sole purpose of getting married though, one must note! The real reasons for these is so that one can grow in maturity and Christlikeness. becoming a good spouse is just a by-pdt.
There are-of course-other lists to help single people in this journey if they are struggling. Come ask me to borrow the book if you're interested, i'm tired of typing, haha! i wna share one more section of the book-though not related to dating :
This last chapter is entitled: Someday I'll have my own story to tell.
It started off with Josh recounting the story of how his parents met. his dad was onstage playing the guitar, his mum was one of the audiences and attracted his attention. after the gig, he approached her- very hesitantly of course (i'd imagine the mum to be rather attractive cos josh is qte good looking himself, haha !) .
ANYWAY, this is what josh said of his dad : " here, someone my age, grips me. at this point in his (josh's dad) life, he has only recently returned to the Lord and to his hometown of dayton. i steal closer to my mum's table when i notice my dad try to appear aimless as he wanders in her direction. i had forgotten that as a young man, my dad faced an unknown and confusing world too. "
that struck me cos i have never thought abt things that way. (even though jan told me about rmbing that my parents started out as kids before, venturing into the unknown and taking risks all...)
OKAY, to end off the post, i quote josh's last line of the book:
I encourage you (and continue to remind myself) to write a love story with your life that you'll feel proud to tell.
-next up will be on thad's memorial run!!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
"My main purpose is to publicise,&cfm, tt cyclists are bldy arrogant (if not very showy) ppl. My patience is tremendously tested hanging out w them. Like tonight." that was from tweeter.
Whoa this tom or is it dan or john... Haha, wtv man, its too insig. He kept asking sharm, '(condescending laughter), where did you pick THIS (referring to me) from'. I shut up because
1 i dont deny that im lousy
2 ultimately, im the one who benefits from tonights bike ride and i owe it to him. Lol
3 i console myself that while hes busy mocking others, when i reach his age-or just give me a few more years actly-, im going to be much more successful than him. Im gna be engaging in sth that is much more worthwhile and impactful rather than dissing younger, less experienced people.
Thats how i always calm myself down when people make fun of me. Wow, suddenly im reminded tht A LOT of different people actly ridicule me...whether its just teasing or insulting, you shldnt treat me like that ha. Because u do so anw, im entitled t respond w 3.
This condescending trait of cyclists is v distinctive! I think it stemmed partly from the confidence they require to cycle on rd. Because when you show your fear on the road, the monsters will react and taunt u further.
Ok anger moment over.
Am waiting for germany v greece match ltr! And~ i cycled for the first time by myself on road ^^ whooooo~ daebak! Ok tht was weird haha
Whoa this tom or is it dan or john... Haha, wtv man, its too insig. He kept asking sharm, '(condescending laughter), where did you pick THIS (referring to me) from'. I shut up because
1 i dont deny that im lousy
2 ultimately, im the one who benefits from tonights bike ride and i owe it to him. Lol
3 i console myself that while hes busy mocking others, when i reach his age-or just give me a few more years actly-, im going to be much more successful than him. Im gna be engaging in sth that is much more worthwhile and impactful rather than dissing younger, less experienced people.
Thats how i always calm myself down when people make fun of me. Wow, suddenly im reminded tht A LOT of different people actly ridicule me...whether its just teasing or insulting, you shldnt treat me like that ha. Because u do so anw, im entitled t respond w 3.
This condescending trait of cyclists is v distinctive! I think it stemmed partly from the confidence they require to cycle on rd. Because when you show your fear on the road, the monsters will react and taunt u further.
Ok anger moment over.
Am waiting for germany v greece match ltr! And~ i cycled for the first time by myself on road ^^ whooooo~ daebak! Ok tht was weird haha
Friday, June 22, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
been feeling (and thinking) very lousy of myself lately...
anywayyyyyyyyyy~ today's swim was reallllly tiring @.@ (it was the first swim trng with sim aqua after 999 months. i must give myself due credit though -it's not that ive not exercised in a long time, i was prob very lethargic from my useless dayz. lolzxz...
} thought i was over it already but today managed to revive some emotions. WHY?!?!!!!! hahaha i really dont know what's wrong with me... i must be too free, too free that i can nurse these useless thoughts. was so not being myself... and i realllllly DETEST being anybody but thy self. ok thank you ^^v
anywayyyyyyyyyy~ today's swim was reallllly tiring @.@ (it was the first swim trng with sim aqua after 999 months. i must give myself due credit though -it's not that ive not exercised in a long time, i was prob very lethargic from my useless dayz. lolzxz...
} thought i was over it already but today managed to revive some emotions. WHY?!?!!!!! hahaha i really dont know what's wrong with me... i must be too free, too free that i can nurse these useless thoughts. was so not being myself... and i realllllly DETEST being anybody but thy self. ok thank you ^^v
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