1. why? why do you go around my life and discourage me, and put me down like that?
i can just imagine you being tied to a chair, hair in a messy rage, sweat trickling down your neck and blood streaming down the left side of your face.... while i'm ten feet away, weight against my palms on the table. i'm dripping with sweat too, agaped at the reality/surreality of all that is happening. my eyes are cast downwards... with fear, with confusion, with hatred, then back with confusion again. my knees are buckling, my ankles are struggling to keep me standing up.

slowly i lift my gaze to your tiredsome worn out face. i stare straight into your bloodshot spiritless eyes, and i ask you the question that i started this post with.
i feel that i've learnt to hurt people. keyword: learnt. that means i was taught this lesson by someone. and sometimes i take this lesson and execute it against my teacher too. i feel really bad, but then i think, wasn't it you that taught me all these?


2. haha, ohwell....... himym really made my day. jenny and i discussed this before; barney is such a playerrrr (a character of the world which we realllllly detest) yet we still feel a certain connection towards him. our reason was because he has caused our expectations of him to lower so much that when he does sth sweet for a girl, it IS a big deal.

now, i'm thinking of another reason. because we find ourselves in him. maybe we aren't flawed in the sense taht we are v sexually immoral, but we fail terribly in another aspect. yet, he eventually manages to find his footing in life :) ( YES , if you got it and you hvnt watched s6 of himym, THAT'S RIGHT. I SPOILT THINGS . HAHAHA)


3. aww man. i'm youtubing sth rly embarrassing now which i wont even say here for my future self to be reminded of... but it's making me reallllly warmthy inside :)

-this was from 2011, between the 4th and 9th month. WOW, i'm scary when i'm angry haha