There comes a point during the process when sluggish turns to energy, when angst turns to adrenaline, despair to passion.

And this transition changes in just a mere 15min interval. One extreme to another. Im here to note down what causes the change, because i loathe always waking up to the first stage. I dont know what it is though-i noted the wind agnst my face, breaking into cool air, and the ease of my feet pumping. Thats it. But tht changed my whole state.

Zzz mum just killed me twice tdy.

The first, her response when i said 'i think ive impressed quite a few adults i encounter in my life'. She said 'why are they impressed? Is it because they see a 22years old girl with no ambition? (GENUINELY o.o) people usually at 21yrs already have a goal in life-to be a dentist, to set up a business etc-but they see tt you are still so slack, you live life without bothering about such things' um....

And the second time, just to quote her 'you can give advice to people because it is your passion (okay, thats peoples perception of me only). You may not be good at the sport-what biathlon or triathlon- but you have been at it for so long'.

Wow thanks for the encouragement..
Is this sort of parenting good enough an 'excuse' for my lack of self esteem? Lol, cos thats how i dismiss my lack of drive, direction, my inadequateness.

HAHA had dinner w extended family ytd. San gu asked why i did not join jenny for mission trip to cambodia, i replied straight off, 'because i dont like someone in the team'. She made me repeat it twice HAHA, was that too frank? Lolz..