trg today was..............argh. was practically jogging e whole way!!! argh argh argh. n did HE have to corner me so much? i mean if he weren't so fierce and all, i'd give feedback. sigh. today was like bleh. i felt SUPER tired man. but i told myself that since i pushed so much for the front part, might as well just push all way through the finish line. but i just COULDN'T push. sigh. that feeling really really really sucked. so i thought that, fine i shant push to the barrier. i shall cruise my way to the 1km place and start chionging to make up. but what happen? he didnt want it, IN THE END. he just....ok tiff. stop. WHAT?! what the toot toot toot. i was like so tempted to just say TOOT. ya that pretty little flower word..when sheryl was in front of me. but hey man, she uses that word too ;P i think. anyhow, i didnt. i just said i was tempted to say it. but it's bad. ARGH. i hate today's trg. though i didnt give my best, i felt SUPER SUPER SUPER tired. ah whatever/

Escobar's most powerful msg: Rejoice in the Lord always, at all times, all situations no matter what you're feeling.

just came back from christmas celebrations at soteria. woah, i felt like scolding and WHINING to whoever i was going to meet when i found that place. ah gong knows how irritating i am when i whine. i think i irritate myself too. i took super long to figure out where sgh is from outram mrt and only found the place after that. well, all thanks to christopher's WONDERFUL directions =) u rock kor. anyway, as what escobar said, praise Him at ALL times! so yea i started singing in my head(darn i shld have thought of that while i was walking) n just praising the Lord! actually i was just quite light hearted. i mean, i tried not to be too angry cos i've no one to blame but myself. i was so screwed up man. i thought we were supposed to meet at 11 when the meeting time was at 10. so i was all aloonee on a lonely long stretch of rd. well, praising the Lord really worked! cos i found the place, like finally. i really cant express the joyfulness and calmness i had when i heard the voices of my fellow siblings singing beautiful carols to the Lord while approaching the room. anyway, to all the people that gave me presents/cards/wishes/hugs/etc: Thank you! =)
i felt so happy just receiving presents from my loved ones! (yea i'm deprived of receiving stuff) but i felt so much happier just giving out the cards i wrote to them. i slept at 2am just writing them and even got scolded by my mum for staying up too late. the joy of giving. i finally understood it. n it's just scribbles and my heartfelt words i wrote on POSTCARDS. u know, those cheapo cards where u can take for FREE on the stands? yea those. i wonder the amount of joy that wld be brought to my heart if i were to give them real hard solid presents with my own hard earned cash(more like, hard painful savings)

CRAP! there's trg tmr!!!!!!!! oh man oh man oh man!!! i've to write... 27 letters! wait, minus 1 cos i'm not gonna write to myself! but, there's joei, esther and mr ng too. so it's 29. gosh that's quite a terror. i totally suck at doing that. ok man, i'm setting the dateline on FRIDAY =) sigh.there's trg tmr. at MACRITCHIE! (booms) (echos) yea we had those goal setting stuff but i guess it's making me more anxious. okok how abt this. WHOOPIEEE! we're gonna run 10km tmr! aren't u guys excited? oh yea! oh yea! boy.this is horrible. well, rejoice in the Lord! yea man. oh boy oh boy! how abt doing smth different!for a change =D like running northern route 1ST b4 duno the 1km in and out thingy. i think it'll be BETTER and fun-ner man!!! but it's gonna be difficult to break my excitement to rachie. i find rach and jen more of the traditional type of pple. like those that wldnt really like too much of a change. but hey man! if u guys ever come, it has it's pros! =D

anyway, abt ytd, rmb that my mum scolded me. yup.. when she started walking ard in my room, i rushed to the toilet and my tears started flowing. she did not scold me la, actually. more like tormented, criticised, looked down, agitated my christmasy feelings(i was writing christmas letters to my church frens), bothered and confused me. am i that useless? i rmb she said something abt me being the capt in cross. like, they wanna give u a chance or smth. i dont rmb. well! i dont rmb such stuff that brings down my happiness. ok so i was in the toilet and crying. and haha, come to think abt it. it's so chinese drama. i was looking at the mirror with my tears streaming down my face. so naturally, i started rinsing my face. and each time i splashed water on my face, i told myself : Rejoice in the Lord at all circumstances. and i think that calmed me down a lot. i was debating with myself A LOT. like, walao! mother criticise daughter. what an ass man. still want me to rejoice!?! but i guess the Lord calmly repeated, Rejoice in Me. ok so ya, i just started reminding myself of happy things. then i went out and my mum scolded me, lightly. then she lefted and i went to bed. this morning, she forgot everything and was happy again! arguements in my family are always like that. she even offered to send me to outram mrt when she found out i was late =)

after church was really a real debator. 1 part of me wanted to go out with the grp of guys and just have fun bowling or whatever. but a really small part of me asked me to stay with shern, rach tham, evan and bevvy! i'm glad i made that decision. though i didnt talk much, i still learnt a lot more stuff la. ok i didnt talk much prob cos of the topic! grr. i rock and dont get myself so involved in that. i'm still single, available and atracktiff.

but one thing that impacted me a lot was what rach said.

life is super unfair. rmb 2000 yrs ago. Jesus died for us, the horrible, bad etc pple, so that we may have eternal life. God was a good man when he came to earth. he did not do anything wrong. men on earth even insulted him. yet he humbled himself and died for us. no one goes to our father through jesus. (i forgot the exact words and verse)

i really wanna go on but i know people will get bored and might not see anything below what i'm gonna say and it MIGHT make a difference to them. but going to ccmc on christmas day was really, well, enriching. oh yea, AUSTIN!!!!!!!!! if you ever see this, COOL HAIR man! =) i shant talk abt ur brother or he might feel insulted..cos i'm not as close to him than u ok! i dont mean i was ever gonna insult him.

ok then. i shall mark my ending here. and and and! do write me a christmas letter if u haven't! =) i accept late stuff..i'm a late-r.

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in a world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it.
Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion.
Impossible is potential.
Impossible is temporary

Rock on, crossies.

oh yes. my relatives were singing christmas carols on christmas eve during our gathering! i was so touched =) i saw my, newly saved, aunt singing the carols with her whole heart n it was so touching. almost all my relatives were just singing and though they might be singing for the sake of it, i still felt the presence of the Lord. they used to skip dinners my dad arranged for them to go whenever amc has any evangelistic dinners. but, that night, they were just singing all the carols with lyrics proclaiming his love for us without any hesitation!

REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS!

keep rocking till the saviour comes! (learnt that from angie =) )

God gave me the gift of running and I run for His glory. Running is part of me, like the food that one eats to stay alive, I have to run all days if I want to feel alive.

-Eric Maia

woah, the passion for running..AND GOD. haha he's some guy who wrote an article in the wings website

not much to blog abt. but i guess i'm enjoying my life here in s'pore while hearing pple fly off to all the coldish countries >_<>

oh yea! my deepest and greatest gratitude to rachie daddy and....duane(almost forgot ur name again)

rach! : abt the last time i had a really one to one conversation with u? thanks for being there that night for me. you're really a fren that is so ever patient and...open about almost everything! u are like this really matured girl, to me, and i wldnt be surprised if you're actually older than me =/ haha. you're always making sense when u talk to me and u speak with an aura in u. you always explain things to me in a really simple but yet impactful way and it always leaves me thinking abt what good i've done for the Lord. i think you're one of my most matured frens but u still know how to have fun. and that's a really good thing abt u! =)

duane: u too! thanks a lot also for like accompanying me for the whole night/morning just talking and agreeing with whatever i said. haha. and also! thanks for listening to me as i poured out all(ok maybe not) my feelings to u even though we dont even know each other personally. i guess i was talking crap 1/2 the time but at least u stayed on. i guess i was really touched and thankful to the Lord that He showed me such a fren. u always commented to whatever i said and gave advices. hey man, u even showed me one of the greatest achievement God gave to me =) i guess we wldnt talk that much to each other again, but well, i'm already very happy for that one conversation!

it was pretty fun to talk to 2 of u guys on the same night, at the same time. u guys really rock man. i doubt that duane will see this, but i'm contented enough to know that i publicised my thanks to him! haha.

ok i cant really keep think straight now. hoi yan just came online and is so hyper! gosh, i always am laughing a lot while talking to her online =P heehee. anyway, annoucement! hoiyan has matured quite a lot over the past yr. from sec1 - sec2. she's more focused on stuff and know what her priorities are. :) take care guys!


before the world began
you were on His mind
and every tear you cried
is precious in His eyes
because of His great love
He gave His only son
everything was done
so you would come

come to the Father
though your gift is small
broken hearts broken lives
He will take them all
the power of the word
the power of His blood
everything was done
so you would come

hmm, church camp just ended and i must say i've been truely touched by God! dont want to write too much abt it since it's my personal walk with Him. hmm, the finale night was the power part of camp man! haha.. really enjoyed myself =D and the part abt the guys coming with something to appreciate the girls and vice versa was so funny! haha.. it was really very nice as i dont get to do these kinda stuff in sch. i think everyone did a very superbly great job that night! and if any of u guys come here, i really love and appreciate u guys =)

on to my brother, he's much much better now and to my grp big bird, thanks for keeping him in prayer! i was really touched by u guys when u all keep asking me abt my brother during camp =) he's now just recovering and is a lot better =D just that he's getting more pampered >.<

i duno what's with me but i realise my entries are getting shorter and shorter. oh well, just wanna say that i've been enjoying my hols (ya right) and i'm so excited abt next yr! (stop lying la) man the yr's starting in...24 days to be exact!!!!!!!!!! ahhh. i'm sooo scared. kk i cant slack anymore! darn, i just wasted one day of my good ole' hols. this is getting so grr.

ooh well! take care pple and God bless!

this is getting worse. ryan used to have sky high fever temp of abt 38-39.. and..and now it's 35?! what on earth is going on Lord. i think it's really being very unfair to him ok. he did not even do anything wrong. and there u are leaving him to suffer on his own. dont u have any feelings for him?!?!

ok i know God has a plan for him and i shldnt be shouting to Him. but yea, sometimes i feel like God is over doing it.

today was at the coro bus stop and i saw this blind man. he was feeling his way ard the bus stop to the front with his walking stick. really pitied him la. but actually i thought that maybe he was putting on a front so that he could pretend to bump into women and yea. but i dont think he's faking it. i mean, i finally know how a blind man actually goes around taking public transport. he asked a lady next to him to tell him when his bus came. and the lady, a foreigner i suppose, since she has some japanese-like accent, agreed. it's like so wow. i could feel the love of s'pore bursting out of my body. haha..pple are actually so friendly here in s'pore.

hey, thanks for all the memories you guys have been giving me. esp for this yr. sec1 and sec2 life for me has been really different.

To CROSSIES:

dont wanna blog much but i'm just very sorry.

i'm really sorry abt wed's trg at macritchie. the one ytd.. on 24th nov. where we ran abt 9 km? yea that one. i'm just really sorry. reason? cos i was late for trg. i know others might think that it's ok for pple to be late for training like once in a while. but u guys know how many times i've been late for trg. i'm really really sorry. i duno how u all felt when mr ng was talking to u all and suddenly all ur eyes get distracted as u see me running towards u all. i saw the really disturbed look on almost everyone and i could feel a sense of 'hatred'. ok it might not be hatredness but i felt that u all were VERY irritated with me and my lateness for trg. u guys all couldnt take it and just wanted to shout at me right..just that mr ng was still talking to u all and that hindered u guys from shouting at me. i mean that's how i feel abt u all. i know i shld be really regretful abt all my lateness etc and i shld shut my mouth during trg cos i've let u all down. i shldnt be talking to u guys and laugh at ur jokes cos i shld be silently slipping away after trg and brood over the terrible mistake i made. u all practically daoed me and did not even speak to me!!except for grace cos i needed to ask someone what the workout was. well, i just wanna give my apologies and i really hope to seek ur forgiveness. i'm very happy that u all didnt like dao or lecture me after trg that i was late.even mr ng didnt talk to me abt it! really, thanks. i'll really try to be early for trgs for the rest of the hols. i'm really regretful abt it. but i'm e type of person that's really difficult to change. why u think i'm still so slack in studies. i know i'm the capt and am supposed to be a good example. i'm really serious abt this. i really am very sorry abt that trg and all the past trgs where i've been late for trg. pls forgive me

Yours Truly,
A really conscience-stricken captain

Numb By Linkin Park
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure, of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus:]

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart, right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
An' every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus: Repeat]

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

[Chorus: Repeat]

I've Become so numb
I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be (x2)

The nail did not hold Jesus up on the cross
It was His love for us
-Anon

woah, last time i blogged was like 10 days ago!!..of which, in the 10 days, i went for TWO camps..GB and LTC. tiring as it was, i enjoyed myself! for both camps that is. GB camp was just ultra cool. Sleeping under the fishes.. wheee! hmm, LTC, well that was like power camp! i really learnt a lot during the camp and yea, actually i'm glad it's over haha. But the sleeping time was like horrible, esp the 2nd night. I don't know what got into me..! The people that were talking suddenly wanted to tell ghost stories, and i was under my sleeping bag feeling very scared. My heart was pumping like crazy. I could feel the adrenaline rush. I don't know what was happening to me. Okok, i don't wanna revive that feeling. Hmm, what else. Oh yes, I wanna talk abt everybody in the grp another time. It's pretty late now. Want a short update on LTC, go to shern's http://horsefantasy.diaryland.com blog. Was in the same group as her. Yeah i went for camp and skipped training. But hey, the ltc-ers did our fair share of training man. Like running from cityhall mrt all the way to esplanade then run back to suntec and then back to through the same route to the mrt. Goodness, it was both mentally and physically challenging. We really went through a lot together. We didn't talk much during our meal times i must admit. Heehee.. Partially coz' we were busy stuffing ourselves with food. However, i really felt the bond between everyone. Take this as an example. I nvr thought I'd ever talk to shuying..and we somehow ended up in the same group. Thus, leading to waiting for each other b4 running to the next place. The greatest shock that came to me was how friendly Tann Ting was. Gosh, she's like damn friendly and encouraging man. Her cool, dao face didn't go with her personality i must say.

Ok enough about LTC. Drill com is in TWO days. We have only tmr left to practise. Personally speaking, I don't think contingent3 aka my cont. has any hope. Sigh.. Firstly, we're so slack and the juniors cant seem to perfect their drill. Yes, my uniform is in a complete mess, my boots are damn ultra un-shiny n yea, I'm not mentally prepared. 60% of me wants to pon training and like train another day or just train by myself in the afternoon..or, sacrifice my lunch break and run at the ugh, sch track. I don't really have a liking for the sch track. But then again, I've committed myself to BOTH ccas and i can't forfeit one for another. It's tough being in two ccas and yet being recognised with a position and rank in both. Oh well. I guess I have no choice but to go for trg tmr. At least i can polish my boots b4 that...?!?!? haha.. time saving skills. Darn..sarah is sick now and will be late for drill prac tmr. I'll be going for drill prac in the late morning. Then, when sarah comes, she's leaving in the afternoon for tuition. This is really falling apart and tmr is like our final prac! Slam! I wish i could just ask u to stay home, recupurate and come back to sch on tues all ready to scream/shout the sch down! But yea, tmr's the last day. I really don't know what's going to happen for drill com man. I don't want to be seen crying in front of my juniors cos we, as a contingent, did not do our best! I'm sure I'd do my best. But what abt the rest u see... Sigh. Well, glad to say, our marker has improved!! really happy for her. ok fine, i forgot her name. hehee i dont wanna strain my brains la. and for our stamps, sigh! at least the pri sch got the ultimate stamper, *north stars* to do the job. now it's only a matter of whether we can do it together!! and it's usually the sec pple stamping louder to combine the stamps. thing is that my right calf hurts like sheeeeet whether i stamp. it started hurting after ltc!! and i need it to impress the judges during the 1st part. darn... this is really going all wrong for me. oh wait i got one good thing going on!!

swift is postponed to 9th jan!!! so yup, i can get my right calf, left knee and left upper arm to rest. i duno what happen to my left arm la.. hurts whenever i swing it.

really excited for trg tmr. gonna see my extended*3 family again after soo long. i really miss x!! i miss the time b4 x nationals when i'll spend so much time at turf city..after trg. after trg, we'd just stay back at macs...or the hawker there and eat our late afternoon meal. after which we'll go to the finishing part of the route and just take loads of crazy pics. what fun. i rmb it was the seniors that mostly stayed back and me..since i stay so near there. i really like turf city. the route, well it's challenging but i've grown to love it. the times i spent there studying was fruitful too. i'm like really slow at memorising la. but over there at the macs, it's really quiet with 98.7 blasting over there and it's pretty secluded. except for the many working adults going there to do their work. oh and i still rmb this guy that i saw of the 2 times i went. after i went there with esther, i stopped going there. partially cos of the disturbing pple there. kept kachiaoing me. i still rmbed they called us lesbians and one girl was like," aiyah got the looks only! no xing ge one la!"(in chinese that is) walao eh... so threatening haha.. but yea, it's pretty far in and i didnt have any time to go there. i really like that place. it's like my 2nd home. Again as i'll say, if it weren't too far in, and more pple went there, I'd definately make that my 2nd home.

I'm slacking so much and I've missed SO many trgs already. I duno what. OH YES. i've not been doing my self runs and during those non running days, it seems pretty boring and it feels like a wk that i've not ran. so yea. and now, i'm like wishing real hard that my knee or calf will hurt like sheeet tmr during warm up so that i can limp to mr ng and complain to him abt my aches. which will result him in saying," ok. dont run today. just go home and swim ok" what a horrible and slack capt mg has. imagine when rach is gone and i'm gonna take the place of the capt that so many others b4 me have taken. i can be really fierce if i want to. but i cant be fierce during every trg! 1stly, i'd lose cells and die early. 2ndly, i'd grow white hair. 3rdly, pple wldnt like me. 4thly, i'd be the person i really dread meeting up with every trg. so back to my pt why i dont wanna go for trg tmr. so that i can go to sch and teach the pri sch their drill! tmr is the last day, and i really want to just perfect our drill standard. tmr is the last day of prac so i can just shout at the kids for all i care and be like a mu lao hu. certainly, there isnt any time left to do rank drill and all but i really think that we really need to do those things. but then again, not say my drill very good la. and if things go out of hand, i'll give a prep talk to them. i can literately visualise everything now. like, myself taking over sarah lam, our wonderful, strict commander. i really respect her for her dedication to gb though she doesnt really like it. she knows that we're like pretty no hope kinda thing, but she still persisted and did her best during drill. i really want her to know that her hard work is really being appreciated by a small junior like me. i mean, she knows that our drill is like quite horrible but she still takes the effort to compliment us on the goods we did. i could tell on sat that she kinda gave up hope la. but slam! dont give up ok =) get well soon and just come back for drill tmr!

darn it's super late now.. 2am. and i gotta wake up at 7am for trg. well, i just wish the best for everybody in everything they do. it's a tough world out there.

I had a life
But school destroyed it
-anon

A true sportsman never gives in to failure.

all u guys out there..cont trg hard yup.. abt 5 more mths and it's over. it's a really short time so i guess we shld give it our all! hurry recover can..!! and if u guys got injuries, STOP RUNNING!!!! *hints to teo*

self reflection time.

hmm, i did 2 things i'd regret if i dont do it. and i'm really proud of myself

1st thing, believe it or not, i wrote a 'farewell' note to my tuition laoshi since it was gonna be my last day with her. i passed it to her ytd. i was actually debating with myself whether i shld give it to her, feel a little embarrassed but let her know how much i really appreciate her, or throw the letter away and just be some corner student. there were a few hanyupinyins, english phrases and yea, messy chinese words. i really hope she can read my letter. i'm really very appreciative of how much effort she puts in during class just to keep us attentive. she's a very bubbly teacher and is so hyper. well, at least for my last day of tuition there, i walked out of the classroom with a sense of pride.

2nd thing, today for trg, we did northern route and mr ng came up with this loop thing towards the girls/boys route so that we can gain more distance. we could do the loop 1-2 times..all really up to us. as i ran finish the northern route, i saw teo, joy and charissa at the barrier resting. they just came recovered from their injuries and cant really run much. i really had this urge to just stop since i was already very tired n give the excuse that i couldn't take it anymore.

WAIT.

mr ng isnt here anymore. oh that's better..then i dont need to give excuse to anybody! then, hu do i give the excuse to? my frens? erm, what has my slack running gotta do with them.. it then just hit me that the person i shld be giving e excuse to, is none other than myself. but i cant give the excuse that i'm dying..my mind just says that but i'm very sure my body can go one. so, i had another debation as to whether i shld continue. in e end, i did since i saw sheryl running up the hill. if a sec1 girl can do it.. why not me. so yup i ran up and up and up..i was on the verge of walking already la. it was short a long slope. well, i was then rewarded with a downhill..a SHORT downhill. then i had to run UPhill again. this slope is short, but VERY steep. not wanting to give up, i pushed on and ran down a gentle slope(take note, this is s'pore. so the gentle sloping is quite gentle). after what seemed like 8km(i'm exaggerating), i finally reached the opening of macritchie again then sheryl told me that she's gonna stop since she cant take it already. yeah i saw her...from behind. at least she did one loop. so this comes to my and myself again. shld i run a 2nd loop and suffer but savour victory? or just give up and be a loser to myself for the rest of the day.. at least i've gained abt 1km more dist already. yeah, the ans is quite obvious.

so i did a 2nd loop and then went to rejoin back with my x fellows. though i didnt run like some lunatic, i was already very happy that i made the right decision and finished the workout. i dont wanna repeat my mistake like in sec1. i had suffered too much emotionally already. i'd come home everyday after trg and thing, 'i could have pushed harder!' or " i could have ran longer!" then i'd be too sad and moody to do anything. i really hated myself then. life was such a pain for me and i was just like any other i-wanna-die-student. it was then. i really duno what made me really come back to X. there wasnt any like mr ng's "u dont come to trg u die!" talks or whatever. i really REALLY 4got what happened that made me come back to my sense and realise that i've been slacking too much. sigh, this hurts. i've found my true self through running. running gives a lot of time for self reflection i must say.

then again, i dont think i'll be able to do a good run for e swift com. 10 km. 10 whole solid km. WOW. siao la.. i cant believe i'm actually wanting to go for it and i was quite excited abt it too. i guess some of my negativeness still stays. it's difficult for me to refocus. well, FOCUS!! i'm gonna concentrate on natls06' and do my best! i'm sooo glad that natls are being pushed to 3rdwk of april. it gives the seniors more time to train =D i promise i'll be at the stands cheering my heart out for u all. i know u all want it. it's shown through your gesture, your face and your determination. even by what u all say. i know mg can do it! To God be the glory.

Just do it
Nike

(ok i feel e adrenaline rush now)

3/11/04

I’m feeling SOOO tired. It seems that I’ve been studying 5 chpts of History and am taking a short break. I’m feeling so densed! Btw, I didn’t like study at all ah.

Sigh, I miss 2s. I didn't know who my gd friends were in 2S…ok, actually I did. It’s the big lot of u all. But everybody has at least 1 or 2 closer friends. Since the beginning of the yr, I’ve been looking for u guys. I know deep down that there really is SOMEBODY out there…but I really couldn’t make out who it is. It’s pretty sad. God only showed me who u guys are at the end of the yr.. sigh, why did I look past u 2? Why didn’t I put u in my mind as one of them? Probably because of the super big differences we have character, personality, and interests. Why didn’t God lead me to u guys earlier? He has a really good sense of humour as to how i gotta know u all more.

It was the 1st day of school after exams and I was feeling very tired. I was alone so U prob pitied me n accompanied me. Then, YOU came. [btw, I shan’t disclose your names. I scared later u scold me. Or probably u don’t want pple to know u have me as ur close fren hahaha] I don’t remember what actually we talked abt but I remember that it entertained me. The 3 of us became ‘inseparable’. Haha note the ""s ah… I know I always come up with really stupid reasons for not wanting to follow either of u to the toilet. The toilet is like so far away!
Come to think about it, I can’t imagine myself being called one of u guys! I don’t mean anything bad. Just that, we are like worlds apart. Most common debate: GB vs Guides. Haha of coz GB always win since guides is..bori..is fun! FUN. Our friendship always remind me of what somebody told me…

There were a group of girls that were always together, during free periods, lunch breaks etc. It was a mixture of sports girls, guai kias, prefects, slackers,etc. however, they never got into conflicts and could get along very well .

"Can go out tomorrow? Watch grudge!"
"Eh, I can’t leh… got training. Heh, sorry ah!"
"Oh… never mind! It’s ok, another time then =)"
And it’s not only once. I’m really sorry for rejecting u guys so many times. Can’t help it if X is hardworking =D

"tiff, free to go kap today?"
"Erm, today is Friday… i…"
"oh ya, got training right…"
I just find it very amusing. Whenever I think about these kinda situations,it always makes me smile. I mean, who wldnt…ok maybe those non tiff pple. It’s like, u guys actually rmb my trg days! Though u all are like antiX…or rather anti running haha..

oh yes! I still rmbed the first and last outing we had together! Hahaha, it was SUPER FUNNY! I can’t describe how we 3 managed to go out alone…heehee. I'll get killed. Rmb how stone and sad we were after e 3 guys talked to us? N we kept trying to go back to find them! How exciting. JUST THAT we were so sian after that. Walk here n there…leg pain sia! Luckily we found annabelle and celestine. It was fun going out with u guys. It was even my 1st time going to the skate park and watch pple skate. Hurry! When are we going to east coast park to build sandcastles..??!?

Today we had track trg. Ok track training sounds weird. I forgot the exact name… oh yea! Speed workout. Anyway, though it was only 4 * 400m, I almost died anyway. 1.38, 1.35, 1.39, 1.33. Only reason I’m writing my timings are so that if Mr Ng wants to see our log bks, I can just refer from here. It was SORCHING HOT. Like the sun moved 10cm nearer to Earth. Good thing the sun moved another 20cm nearer AFTER we finished training.
Sigh, I didn’t really feel too good about today’s workout. Not cos of my timings but I feel that I’m running for the wrong reasons now. Maybe it’s because training has just resumed. See right, usually after a run, no matter how lousy the timing, I’d still feel the satisfaction, knowing that I ran my best today. I thought that by running ur best, you’d feel that way. But, I just realised that it’s not true, only today, only 2 yrs after I ran. I did pia like siao for the last 100m..just that I don’t feel the satisfaction. I was definitely running for the wrong reason today. What was it? I can’t seem to figure it out. Argh, so frustrating. Ok forget it. I’m not going to strain my head further.
Heehee, realise I didn’t say ‘good run’ to any of guys. Ok maybe only to a few. I guess it’s not a habit for me to say ‘good run’ after each run. It goes to show that I really mean it when I actually congratulation u guys on ur run ok. Esp juniors, don’t think that it’s just some routine that we’ve to follow. We seniors really mean what we say.

Just like praying to God b4 u eat or sleep or whatever. I mean like, I’ve been taught since young to thank God for the food. There was a pt of time I literately said the same prayer of thanksgiving for every meal. It became a habit for me. There was no meaning in my prayer.N I felt that it was v insincere. After I became more mature [=D] I resumed my thanksgiving. But I wldn’t pray if it was gonna be a meaningless prayer. I feel that it ain’t fair to God, right? I duno.

After trg,I took about an hr break n went back to school for drill. Rmb the sun moved 20cm nearer after my training, yeah, I was melting under the sun. Walao eh, u guys still put tanning oil eh. Gee the smell STINKS. Stupid banana boat. Anyway I had a headache soon and I almost couldn’t take it. Woah, was feeling so dizzy. Like Earth was spinning even faster than usual. See, I’m so environmental, in the other way. I was feeling SO lethargic when I was walking back home. I was literately dragging my feet back home. My feet were aching like…duno what like that la! All the kpo neighbours at my condo that were looking at me walk can testify to that! I was feeling so sick.nvr eat enough vitamin C.

I just wrote a typical entry. Haha. I really can’t help it if I’m long-winded. But I’ll really need it for history and lit. oh yea, I’m taking full lit and ½ history. I really duno what I’m getting myself into. I’m really taking Ms Ng’s words into consideration!abt not taking ½ lit. Well, I guess what she says actually makes sense la. Coming to think about it, ME? Lit?!?! hahaha.. Well, I better take a lit sub. Must really learn how to improve my already magnificent English. Haha. I don’t know why people always object to me whenever I say that I’m thinking of taking IB lor. Am I that kuku? >.< for one, God might be having a plan for me and suddenly give me A LOT of motivation to study and I'd get a perfect score! Hey, God really work wonders ok. I’ve heard the testimonials of my seniors. But if I do get a perfect score, I’d try to go NJ =X NJ’s such a nice sch! It’s just such an honour being there. Being called an NJ student. In contradiction, I don’t think I’ll like the idea of representing a weird sch I duno know about. I’d still wanna go for ACJC…since that’s the only JC I can think of I’d love representing. That is, if I’m good enough, but that’s a different story la.

I really didn’t know what I was getting into when I joined X in sec1. Being called a xcountry runner is an honour. It’s like everybody’s dream. (I DON’T CARE IF U OPPOSE ;P THIS IS MY ENTRY, MY THOUGHTS =PPP) however, it takes a lot to be called one. Eg, lots of sacrifices, commitment, madness and basically, your life. I might even have to quit gb next yr.. since there’s the 5 day wk thing next yr. Sigh, I don’t really like gb…but being in this cca for abt 7yrs, it’s difficult to quit and just forget about it. ANYWAY, back to my pt, yea actually it just takes a lot of madness to join X. that’s probably why I’m there =P sigh, I don’t even know if I’m gonna join X in jc… but what else is there to do. Running, in it’s slow process, has been planted in my bones, my mind, and slowly, to my life. I want to run, yet I don’t. Seriously, I can’t imagine tiffany tan running another 4 * 400m. it’s really gonna kill me. But previously, we can run like what… 20 * 200m, 5 * 600m etc. I can’t remember those really difficult trg workouts. OH YES. 8 * 400m. but that wasn’t the difficult-est. not only that, there’re the leg pains, arm pains, chest, head, stomach, whatever pains, side effects of running too much, leg injuries or, victories and achievements to face. I rmb I use to limp quite a bit…when my legs couldn’t adapt to running too much. I kinda hated it. Since I couldn’t walk fast, or walk a lot without my legs aching. Note that it’s WALKING and not running. However, there was a sense of pride in each limp that I take. Because I know that it takes a lot of effort and energy to actually get ur legs to ache until u have to limp. So, to all those injured pple, well done and congrats to the hard work you’ve put in! Obviously, get well soon too! Come back for trg quickly!!!! Nationals are just round the corner. Goodness, I don’t even think I’m as prepared as last yr. Or prob we had intense intensive trg in dec. *shudders*

Ok I think I’ve written my fair bit. So I shall stop here. Eh pple, tag leh! U think u guys are anonymous ah?!?! Grrr, got nth to say to me one meh… btw, hi church annabelle! Hahhaa.. church annabelle sounds wrong. Anyway, yea, study hard during the hols n get ready for next yr! I dont think I’ll be able to take GB and X as my ccas next yr… not to forget swimming! ARRGHH… I might as well not swim for the sch right… I don’t even get any pts for the sch! But for myself yes la. Ohohoh, ya ya I must swim! Heehee. I’m horrible. Well, I’ll TRY to train la. I’d prob swim alone. It’s too scary to go back to training.

"The greater the difficulty, the more glory and joy it brings when accomplished."

time flies. it literately zooms. i still remembered e 1st yr when i felt that it flew by. i was still a mere pri sch girl in p3.2. i rmb the really fun filled lessons i had then. e teachers were the greatest that anyone could have imagined. there was yu lao shi too. haha, she's super cute. she 1st taught me, then my 2nd sister, and this yr, my 3rd sister. both of them always tell me that she'll scold them using MY name, since our names are quite similar.

then again, in sec1, i really really enjoyed my life in 1s. e triplets(val, chris, me) in GB were finally all in the same class! well, sad thing is that, in sec sch, we were a lot less closer than in pri sch. then time took it's nature course of flying by and my 2nd yr in sec sch approaches. and now, it's ending. sigh, that's it. 2s ah... the class pullover was so last min that we can only wear it when we go overseas. it'll be quite cool if some person saw 2 pple wearing the same pullover if we're on a same hol eh? haha.. our pullover is super significant la..

oh yea, p6 yr was really quick. since psle was the most eventful thing. 6.2 was a crazy class.. really crazy. so was 6.5. hahaha their stories are hi-la-rious! anyway, i rmbed that eleanor was sitting in front of me. and cherie was a very loud girl. our lao shi was really funky and she kept talking abt her barker son(am i right? =/ i kinda forgot) cherie and a few others were always sucking up to her too =P hahaha.. it's not bad la.. i was with u guys too. anyway, there was....phua ailin also right. i cant rmb that well. i rmb christine quah and kaikee! anyway, we even had a'speed'queen. then..vic ng was our class chiobu queen or smth. cbq for short. there was a 2nd chiobuqueen who was somebody i forgot and the list followed through. sigh! =) that's the life of pri sch.

ANYWAY.. 2 wks. 2 wks was all it take to make me forget my time i had with my new crazy sitting partner, nat thery. 2 wks in my new sitting area, with the computer sitting in front of me slacking away. during those 2 wks, i really bonded a lot with the table and my beloved chair. i have learned to love the clock in front of me and most importantly, my pen and right hand. i learnt a lot about my right hand and it's uses. it's really amazing seeing how fast my fingers move across the paper in like, 1 1/2hr? esp for geog. goodness, i LOVE my geog script paper. it's really gundu. asking us to colour this and that. my geog paper was filled with crosses as i kept changing my mind on where the most arable land etc is. at least i improved from a 3/25 to a 8.5/25. well, it makes no diff. just that i passed geog!! greatest thanks to my right hand and brain. well, of cos to my left hand too.. without u, the paper wld have no support and my straight lines wldnt be lines anymore. to my legs too, for bringing me from one place to another. from home, to the bus stop, to only take 1 pathetic bus stop to mobil and then to sch. then again, my legs also brought mg to glory of having a 2nd place for c div 04 xcountry inter sch natls. to my eyes n mouth, without the glory of having sight, how could i stay in kap and study. without my mouth, how can i ask qns and get my facts right(though i was still confused after asking pple) there's also my ears, for me to listen to advice from the kap seniors. for me to listen to avril, screaming and shouting on why life is like this, and like that. i concentrate so much better with avril's screamings than the kap goers chattings. oh yes, my nose. i wldnt be able to have life without u =) i love u. what else.. my hair? yes! my hair. really, without u, my head wld not be kept warm and then my brain wld not be able to function properly. and i wanna thank my internal organs too. my lungs, heart, small/big intestines, fallopian tubes(?!?!?!).... etc.. everything in my body! without u guys functioning properly, how could i have lived through 2004. how could i live to see my results improve so much. yea, 62.5% for ave in sec2 is like, rubbish. well, at least i've improved. (yea i know, i've been crapping all the way =) cant help it eh) and last but not least, God. for without Him, i wldnt be given life, to experience joys and sorrows. to experience victories and failure. from gasping for air in the waters, to land. and most imptly, experiencing His grace for us.

esther smsed to remind me abt... oh yes, the elite swim club. sigh, i told her i'd prob be going on tues to train there. told my mum abt it, she respects my decision and said she wldnt mind me training anywhere, as long as i'm ok with it. sigh, i dont have many frens at sicc except for carol, yenxi and the kids. ok that sounded mean. nvm. anyway, though with the few frens there, the 3 mths i spent there trg has really fostered bonds..with the known and unknown pple there. ok if i really go elite, i'll feel as if i've betrayed sicc =X ok fine, i didnt do anything there. i didnt create an impact there or whatever. but it's just my conscious. anyway sicc is really like a 2nd home to me. it has a very homely atmosphere.if it werent so far, i'd go there everyday[that was exaggerated]. i'd study there for final yrs and i'd make everybody there my fren. frm the monkeys there to the manager(another exaggeration). sigh, i dont even feel like training in waters now. wat wld it be? mon, wed, fri, x trg. tues, thurs, sat swimming?!?! oh man... why cant mg just 'buy' swimmers from other schs the way s'pore get foreigners to play for s'pore.

oh well, i better hit the bed now. got drill tmr. OH SHUCKS! i forgot to call radha! hehee =D hope sarah doesnt come here. ok i must think of smth to tell her tmr..like, OH! my phone bill wasnt paid and the line was cut off! ok nvm. anyway, it sucks to do drill while having ur period. grr.. crap, there's trg too! at nie =D =D yay! track work. not exactly that fun.. but yay!

As we go on
We remember all the times we had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We'll still be friends 4eva

listening to 'one desire' again.. going back to church tmr.. after like quite a while. sigh, it's quite intimidating for me.. i mean like, it's so scary to go back to church again after like 20 yrs[that was obviously exaggerated] i'm just 'so scared of the church pple'. i guess i dont really like being alone.. or rather, being in a large grp of pple but with no one to talk to. also, in church, everybody have their own partners, or grp of pple, that they always mix with in church. yea, i got the lovable sec2s..but i'm so extra in there!! i just duno what it is. but i cant seem to talk to them.. i cant find anything to talk to them abt. ok, maybe i can communicate in the grp. however, once i'm with any one of them alone, i'm tongue tied. gahh.. i used to be able to talk to them soo freely.. esp online. can talk a lot of crap one.. things have change now. it's pretty weird, for me that is. oh oh oh ohhhh well

had trg in sch on friday. it was fun =) well, trg's quite fun now...NOW.only for now. haha well, we'll see abt next time. yay!!!!!!! monday's trg is at tuuuuuurrrffff citttty!!!!!!!! boy oh boy! i love that place! and why isnt donald and daffy duck or mickey aired on tv nowadays... stupid air-er. i really miss those shows. where the horrible guy is the loser.. and it always keeps me so hyped up. i really missed those days where i'd be watching those stupidly cute cartoons bouncing ard and laughing and all. i really miss their voices. it's super comical, sweet and cute.
ok i duno what crap i'm talking abt.. but i guess i really like them cartoons. they're so funny

oh well, i'm so bored now so i'm gonna sleep. God bless =)
hahahahahhaa i'm weird

woke up, bathed, brush teeth. sees shoe bag on the floor, rmbs abt e 1st trg we're gonna have after exams.. gosh, i took at least 5-10 min just to figure out.. "what do i bring? ok.. i got my shirt and shoes.. anything else? i know i'm missing smth!!! .... oh yea, my socks!"

that was how my 1st day of trg began.. how nice. trg rocked today man. i really missed the times when we'd just talk a lot of rubbish. missed those irritating sec1s' chatterings. missed the smell of overdensed oxygen at macritchie. who wld have thought a slacker like me wld miss trg. i miss the anticipation of whether i'd do a good run today. i miss the sound of the stamps i hear. i recognise christine's and jing's footsteps when they caught up with me. how much i miss hearing them. i miss the way my lungs are so desperate for air after the race. i miss the perspiration of my body, like a mad dog. i miss the way my hair bounces so irritatingly over my neck. i miss the way my hands swing, in momentum with my feet. i miss the determination look i see on my fellow 'sufferers'. i miss the encouragements i get from my running peeps. i miss the adrenaline rush i get when i try to push myself harder. i miss the last part of the race, where u just chiong like mad and give it ur all. most of all, i miss the satisfaction i get after a good run.

soon, i'd dread those things..which i hope will be a long time from now... 5 trgs per wk. i'd better love running man.

well, in time to come, nationals are coming. tough fight, i'd say. the 6 chosen pple to represent mgs for the competition that is.

just came back from my cousin's new house.. it was so dirty! eeek! my feet are like black now. hahaha he kept having debates with his mum as to the arrangement of his stuff. hmm, also had tkd grading today. i'm a red belter now!! bahh, the colour isnt nice. woah, that red-black belter i spar-red with was super scary man... kick my face and thigh. and e front of my feet was super red after that. think i kicked too hard too. hmm that's abt it. it's getting kinda boring for each passing day since exams are over. pple are going out and cant be bothered to sms haha.. oh well, training's starting tmr. intensive trg is starting soon...like prob next wk?when we get our stamina back. mr ng is sooo gonna know that most of us didnt do our self runs. siggghh.. i just i was just too slack abt it too. and i was supposed to 'set an eg.' shheeeeet. i'm so gonna get another lecture.. my stamina totally went down like crap. i was panting already when i needed to walk up a flight of stairs today when my tuition class changed to the 5th level..from e 4th. grrr... oh well..cant do anything abt it now. i cant get back my stamina in ONE day...sigh. it's all my fault!!!! guess i really deserve a really long lecture..and maybe strip me off my post. i really suck. sheeeesh. actually to think abt it..beating chris and yihui for that post....boy, it's totally an achievement.

exams are over! exams are over! exams are over!

ok fine, i dont feel anything so excited abt it. ohohoh. and i had a SUPER weird dream ytd. eeee why did i ever dream i was there.. when i haven't been there in my life b4! ok nvm.. everybody's blur.

went to watch white chicks ytd. so funnnnnyy. tmr hopefully i can go out w e crossies and watch dodge(dutch)balls =) hhahahaha. stupid joy. bah.. ytd 3 angmoh guys asked van, chessa and i whether we wanted to watch movies since they had some free movie pass. grrrr.. if they didnt give us a shock i'd follow them. but why the heck were they at the projection room area. hmm.. then after that thing, walked around the whole of orchard.met annabelle and celestine then went to that skate park thing and watch pple skate ard. it was kinda fun i guess. just sit down and move our heads from left to right.

hmm.. what else did i wanted to say. arrrghhh i cant rmb. oh yar! i slept from 9pm - 8.30am!! yay!! i rawk man. i was waiting since 7pm for that 9pm show then fell asleep while watching it. grr who ask them not to bring that joe joe come. hahaha.. i only watch that show cos i wanna see him. he's sooo cute. he looks like my neighbour man..singapore idol today!!!! yay.

OH I JUST RMbed what i wanted to say. but it's so sad.. siigghH!!! EVERYTIME i hear she'll be loved. i just think abt that stupid audition -.-" dont worry guys. there're still the outside competitions! rmb our plan for e audition? hahaha.. go to some ulu shoppping centre and audition.

okok i'm off to updating the skylarks (http://www.skylarkians.blogspot.com)
[celestine u better thank me] you've been pestering me abt the blog. hmm ok i'm off to surf blogging or wateva it's called. and i'm gonna say hi to everybody.hi!!! .....

all the best for the results!

this is it. all the best for exams. if you guys ever feel like giving up, dont! cos it'll be over very soon!! aww shucks. then it means HOLIDAYS!!! then the start of a new yr =/ sec3...grrr. oh wait, b4 that, we've to go through the torment of choosing between lit, geog and history. bah. i'm either taking 1/2 lit, full geog or 1/2 hist, full lit. nvr gonna take 1/2 geog or full hist. too tedious. aaahhh...
ok so then, u start a new yr. THEN IT'S NATIONALS!!!!!!!!!!!!! man, it's really fast... i cant wait for our post exam competition! some link run...n X CAMP!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAY!!! ok it might be energy draining w ****sec1s but WHO CARES. k i gotta refocus...

*ponders over lit.. lit lit lit.*

all the best for exams once again!! =) exams rocksssss. besides the studying part of cos.

http://sigueme.com.ar/musica/mp3/0016_hillsong_one_desire.mp3

this is my cry
my one desire Lord
is be to w u Lord

hey u know who u are.. if u ever come here, which i doubt so, pls. i seriously didnt do anything. i'll leave it to u if u wanna clear it w me. i dont wanna irritate u or wateva. just pls, PLS, tell me wat i did. i seriously am very clueless abt it. for all u know, u heard rumours. oh well, everything's up to u

study hard guys. i need help for math!! anybody not minding to help me n being pissed by me?? help....

After writing that entry, realised that so many people now know i'm given that new title. it's quite a cool name.. haha. anyway, for all those slow people, teo and chris are now the vice captains! *woohoooo* yup. it's official. i think.. oh well.. but just pray for this 2 pple that they'll be able to work together and get along well. man, i've not only one, but TWO 'bodyguards'! yay. both in a smarter class than me too.. haha can just imagine teo strutting a bodyguard pose while chris just stares back and give that -_-" face.. heheee.. both taller than me also. i'm like some mini boss w 2 very loyal, blur bodyguards. ok that is so like a chinese drama. but a cool one. anyway, i just realised.. being a X capt aint any easy job. gotta be like so enthu during all trgs. argh. i dont think there's anybody that can feel happy everyday. well, except for those positive pple. oh oh oh. i RMB WHY I WANTED TO BLOG!!!!

but i shall save it for later.

ANYWAY, if mr ng doesn't allow us to have a X camp, we shall have those sleepover 'parties' at somebody's house..if not go chalet!! wat u call that.. it's a girl thing. hahahhaa it rocks being a girl man. woohoo... i'm so smart!! so so so.... when u guys wanna have the sleepover party/X camp? better book everybody 1st! if not ah, pple fly here fly there then very little pple go. man, can we go escape?!?!!!! i nvr go b4!!!!woohoo....

personally, i think God has been having life a lot better for me.

->firstly, my marks somehow has been pushed up a lot.. got A1 for HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!! was screaming like a lunatic in class
gotta thank my history grp for putting in so much effort la.. hehee.. we're known as the wat.. sleeping grp.. how ironic. we were the most enthu one. thanks charmain, chessa, celestine and rach. the 3cs and an r.

ok that didnt make any sense..well, term3 for me has been quite fun...n really short.
->i'm starting to love my class.
->i like my new sitting partner, nat thery.. she's like my radio in class, live some more. phew man, she sings well. haha..
->yea there's the X thing. chris! stop feeling so blue and all can.. it's as if ur influencing me that being capt isnt that gd and all...well, it's not u la. it's e way i interprete wat u say.. gd thing u dont come my blog man hahaha
->and i'm getting commendation for swimming too!!!! cant believe it... 2 awards!! X and swimming. ok i shldnt be so haolian
-> also, there's the great church i'm in! though i cant really connect myself w the church much, i guess i still love it. it has been quite a while since i sing FOR GOD during worship.. wonder when the time will come...
-> personally, i feel that being in S'pore is actually a privilege(spelling?).. k God might have placed us in some much more developed country.. but wat if we end up at africa... actually, studies arent that bad.. well, there are other things to destress ourselves
-> and for the time being, lastly, my frens!! just this yr, i've made so many more frens.. so many as in....20 over? ok that's quite little la.. but it's an estimated thing.
ok that's it. i needa study for geog. all the best for it!

"It takes determined people to take up sports...
But it takes a bunch of crazies to choose X"
-Christine Ong (Junior vice capt 04')

E X spirit lives on


(i hope chris is known as the junior vice capt. i duno wat other names to call her already)

yesterday was one of my fun-nest days again. woohoo.. we got our usual family meeting. traditionally, we started off w church meetings. then we had our traditional lunch. always at the same kopitiam. wonder whether the hawkers rmb us or not.. or even better, guessed our relationships.. muahahha they'd nvr get it. anyway, family arh! we had better get a usual table too! hahhaa.
 
Ahkong even brought his basketball along.. and since so many pple wanted to play w ME, I agreed to go. Haha DANIEL WOON! STOP flirting w my wife lah.. it’s very difficult taking care of a wife like mine.. I’m serious. I’ll cherish my husband in future.. I know he’s gonna have a hard life. Buahaha kidding. So anyway, my wife was playing very hard. Pregnant still go n exercise so much. U know I’m very guan xing ni leh. One day I cannot tahan, I’m gonna leave the family! Muahahhha.. evil husband. But it’s really nice being in that family actually, with such a ‘loving’ wife.. and a flirty ahkong Daniel. Ugh. Touch here touch there one.. IN FRONT OF ME SOME MORE. *does some macho act* I’m not disturbed by it!
 
Hmm, after that I had a very enriching and happening Chinese tuition. The lao shi, as usual, was very hyper. N the guys behind vic ng and I were so noisy. But well, it kept me entertained. Victoria kept talking to them while I guai guai de listen during class. Haha.. n I found somebody who’s handwriting is somewhat like mine.. just that it’s a guy’s. how insulting eh. To me that is.. n he seemed so amused by it.. and gosh, I created a scene [between the back 4 of us] by mistaking his paper as mine!!!! So embarrassing..
 
Today, I was super happy that geog test’s over!!! Yay! Then when we were taking the bus to NIE, hhahahhaa was quite funny. I sat on the 3 seater chair thing that faces perpendicular to the rest of the chairs w a man[PETERPAN] on the other end [my math rocks] anyway, there was this old man that was staring at me for quite some time lah.. come find me if u wanna know how. Then soon, this big sized lady came and squeezed in between PETERPAN and me.. b4 that, both of us shifted a bit to the opposite ends.. then suddenly the lady’s butt came in and almost squashed me. Boy, she took hell lotta space. When she was quite comfortable, she looked at me and said smth I couldn’t hear. Then I felt super weird, so I went up n stood next to Sheryl. Goodness, that lady took both hers and my seat. Imagine how she squeezed into a seat!
 
Oh oh, testimonials time!
Last night, since I was pretty tired, I decided that I’ll wake up at 5.30 instead then continue studying. Well, the smart thing was, when I was lying on my bed to set the alarm, I fell asleep. So yea, I didn’t set my alarm! But I woke up at 5.45am [amazingly, since I don’t wake up THAT early] and continued study.. I mean, everybody knows how late I am for sch.. obviously it’s coz I wake up late, considering where I stay. N today was the 1st time I woke up so early w/o anybody irritating me. I just woke up like that. Nothing was disturbing me.. no lighting, no cat outside, my  phone wasn’t ringing at all! I just wanna talk abt God’s grace that He woke me up knowing how desperate I was to study. He actually gave me a chance though I did last minute studying. That miracle might seem small.. but it actually shows that God will do things one step at a time.. and slowly, day by day, I’ll see wat a miracle God really can do.
 
Ok, I’m just very amazed at God’s wonders.
 
Oh yea!! On Sunday was youth Sunday.. which was also my taekwondo grading.. woah, ytd I saw so many more cute guys. Ok fine, only 2. but they were so cute! So engrossed in their games. But one kena beaten up by his mei.. but HE started the fight. Woah, the girl beat him damn hard. So strong.. and both of them are only wat..below 10 and so violent. Anyway, I just found them cute lah.. nth much
 
Hmm, apart from the VERY bad stomach ache I had, school was fun. Man, it’s coming back again! Arghh.. such a weakling.. oh yea, mr ng said he wanted to talk abt the X cap thing this wk leh.. but I think he’ll postpone it yea? Aww shucks. And I was so looking forward to it. We rarely have those official meetings.. so cool and fun.. where almost everyone gets serious. Well all I’ve to say is, make the right choice!
 
 Oh yes oh yes
 
VOTE FOR SLP!!!!!!

this is God's planning, the computer cocked up just now. so my previous entry w all the foul words are gone. but i DIDNT say the f word.. i wldnt. anyway, was just cursing myself on wat a bad timing i did. ok it aint bad.. just that i gotta push myself like shit on finals. so wat if i'm a X runner and only a 'borrowed' swimmer in MG. it still is pressurizing.. i'm starting to feel damn scared for finals. dammit! oral tmr.. heck lah.. if the hong lao shi allows, i'm just going 1st to get over w it. everything just doesn't seems right. i'm in such a good team but i'm not giving any shit abt it. sighh.. bloody asshole lah. argghhh.. kk this is so not me. i'm just damn tensed now. forget it. i'm going to watch legally blonde or wateva the freaking spelling is. maybe they'll be damn stupid, stupid-er than me and make me feel better. cya guys.. all the best for finals.

PS. i cant see the tagboard at my home computer.. so i'm sorry i cant reply. but thanks for tagging anyway. stupid cocked up computer lah. cant go heymath too

juz went to rjcat to check out on my swimming events. i'm leaving sch...1/2 way on wed and i'm not coming to sch at all on thurs. hehee.. hmm, i'm swimming 100m and 200m free. not my pet events but i juz sacrificed and took those unwanted events.. man, the timings that whichever teacher keyed in is so fast! 1.15 for 100m free. woah can die. i guess i'll juz hafta chiong all e way. man, it's so pressuring. ok enough of swimming for now. haha.. oh btw, the swimming costume is....nice? heh. i prefer last yr's one!! oh well..

hmm, training on monday. went to old holland rd and did the slopes thing. i dont know wat's w me nowadays. i juz dont have the motivation to train well. i dont feel like putting in effort and i juz kinda, let my body go when i was too tired. i kinda jogged up the slope? sigh. why cant i juz push a little. i juz dont really have the determination. gotta work on that. 2ndly, it's the juniors. not meaning anything, but why cant u guys juz be serious during training. go laugh and talk abt boys all u want AFTER training. i'm not pin pointing or anything. but do give a little thought for ur seniors that want to be prepared for training. it's difficult to concentrate and talk to urself when others are chatting away happily in the background. during all those competitions, when i see other schs and their teams. i'm in awe at the juniors. i dun really know who are the juniors. but at least they still look determined to me. read another girl's blog and she doesnt really seem to complain abt her juniors.not saying that i do. haha..sigh.. i juz dont feel as motivated as last yr. i feel kinda burned out. but yet i dun want to skip trg. this friday's training is at NIE..ytd, e way mr ng talked abt how trg wld be on friday.. is really scary. he told us to be prepared and etc. i really duno wat's w me...arrghh! i do admit that i'm kinda demoralised when i see pple that used to be slower than me, taking over me.. or juz being in front of me. i juz feel as if the world has came crashing down on me n i dun really feel like running anymore. but yet i still wanna complete the route. i'm juz a selfish person i guess. better start doing my easy runs!! argh.. couldnt be bothered to do.. and it has done so much harm to me. bleh.

take care, God bless.
hope u guys dont get a cough coz of me! =) hmm.. GJAFDLKGJSAFKLJKSAFKL;JSFKLJSADF
ok that wasnt me. why on earth am i blogging anyway
i didnt even felt like doing it
anyway, it's quite short la.
okok, take care pple!
God be with u always

hi peeps! heh nvr been updating for an ultra long time.. sorry. well, i dun wanna elaborate on tiffany's history.it'll be even more boring than history class i assure u guys. anyway i'll prob take abt 5hrs to complete it. hmm, ytd i went the international prayer conference held at barker. it was really really good =) went w ahgong sam,daniel, chris, shern and bev. it was really eventful man.. the best 'adult service' i've ever had. n i learnt than daniel is actually.. actually quite mature? and he can actually communicate w ahgong! this ipc is more for adults.. n dan's actually going.. wow. the power of God. who ever thot this cheeky guy can be so serious. well, i dunno him well. so i was quite shocked, in a happy way. at 1st, we were feeling pretty out of place.. feeling super xtra.. but i know somebody more poor thing. was all alone. haha. anyway we were fidgeting A LOT. we were even passing sweets ard.. sheesh. haha..we felt that we were too young to be in sucha 'grand' place. well, that's wat i thot abt myself. but as God says, nobody is too young to know Him. soon, it started and we started off w so many songs. those adult-ish type.

but there was this really jumpy song! really nice.. all of us [or most of us] starteds waying and all.. haha.. very cute.i like the beat!

when the speaker came, i had that "oh-man-it's-sermon-time" feeling. i was like ready to leave to e toilet 1/2 way.shern asked me to go toilet after the sermon. so at that point of time, we all[e 3 girls] planned to go toilet after the sermon. the pastor, bishop violet fisher i think, started off with some intro. n pple were laughing and all. n i was juz there, not knowing wat the heck the joke was abt. but as she went on.. she started off quite softly.. then gradually going louder and louder. soon, she's shouting.. w her hands swinging ard. showing lots of action. it's really good. n there's one thing i love abt her. she doesnt repeat herself!! that's wat i totally love her abt. they are some pastors that say one sentence n elaborate on it for 10min.. to only go to the next point after 20 min. this pastor juz keeps going on and on.. going from
one point to another. n when she pauses, she gives us a few seconds to reflect on wat she juz said. n there's one part that really keeps me listening. if i dont listen or juz stone for a few moments, i'll lose track of wat she's saying. so i try to
keep focus for the whole time. well, it's a confirm case wont get bored juz listening to her. but i saw this guy slping. no comments to that. haha.. ytd's topic was abt "restoring the wesleyan flame". n, seeing that this lady, so true to God.. still
believing in Him after 40 plus yrs really..really..err touch me. i mean, i dun even know whether she has ever doubted God or smth lor.. juz by the way u see her speak, u really can feel that...it's a strange feeling. n after that when we're praying, ahgong kneeled. dan stood up and raised his hands. and after a while, bev stood. there was this feeling in me to juz stand up n start singing. but i juz like sat la. almost cried too. i couldnt really understand wat bishop fisher was saying.. but i really was so touched. ok my vocab is pretty limited. but i juz started tearing again. this flame of this lady has been burning for so long. yet it still glows for Him. it's really very touching.

ok i juz feel like elaborating on those few phrases i've said..

shern's tagboard : gosh satan is really condemning me alot. i really really full trust God.. but yet he still comes to me and keeps making me doubt God.. being the pessimistic me, i chose to kinda absorb it.. sigh..

i didnt really trust and believe in God during my pri sch days. i used to be a girl that juz goes to church every sun. juz sitting down there listening to the teachers preach abt God's love. i really pity them. they've been trying for a really long time to think abt all sorts of ways to keep our attention and juz listen abt His word. but yet we still juz sit down there and shake leg. i mean, that's wat i really see. i duno whether e kids really listen. but i did look up to the teachers and try to listen. but i still didnt care. then came my 1st teenage yr.. n my 1st 'youth' camp. aiyah it was combined la.. but who cares. haha.. i suddenly had this over whelming feeling for e 1st time. n that's when my walk w God grew. it was a really great experience for me.. but when i look ard, i see pple feeling the presence of God more. at that point of time, i felt really inferior. but i realised that we shld take things 1 step at a time. shld not rush into things. coz then, we might miss out the insignificant things beside us that can mean so much.


rach daddy: yup, here's wat i wanted to tell u.. u know wat.. i might be asking too much of God. but if that story abt the guy wanting to commit suicide, n the pastor calling e wrong number, really happened to me.. [ok maybe not e same situation. but like if God really showed that He's true] then i only might be able to really believe that His's true.

i already do believe that God's real. but when i saw this chi drama abt this grp of pple worshipping this golden calf w this believe that if they really believe, they wld become rich. so they started chopping that golden calf and was trying to gold inside it. but after a while, they realised that they have been tricked. this golden calf god thing was fake. this grp of men pretended that that calf was a god so that they could take the villagers offerings of food. then i started thinking abt God. some pple have done so much for God. in my way, i've prayed to Him. cried out to Him n etc. but when we die, and dont go to heaven, n realise that GOd is fake, wat wld happen? then i cried. i mean, i felt like the world greatest fool to think that of God. i began scolding myself. n became really quiet for e next few days. i really wanted God to punish me. i had created
the worst sin in my life. not believing God is true. and even doubt that we're juz worshipping jus some guy called God, Jesus CHrist.but that was in the past. that juz is the negative and pessimistic side of me.

on the positive side of me, i'm really happy that i've been born into this family where i've been brought to GOd. i'm really happy that i could get into MG..and didnt get into SC, which is not a christian sch. i'm really glad that i'm in AMC where i've really true frens there. i even wanted to transfer to fairfield. i felt that fairfield pple are more practical n they are more holy that MG pple. also, my studies, not really up to standard of MG. i dont really understand MG gals.. MGS is one of the few schs that are known as the holy sch. that's great, but why dont the quality of holiness show thru the girls? anyway, back to the point. hmm... knowing God is a feeling that really makes me so..so..energetic. i duno where that's my personiality that i'm a person that likes to jump and jump n starts acting retarded. but after a really good worship or sermon, i wld feel so much more happier and juz jump ard? yar.. juz start being hyper. ytd's grp of pple can relate to that.we were yar, juz hyper. actually on the way back home in shern's car, i wished that the ride wld be longer.. then we can sing our way home. like the trip back from malaysia after church camp! it was really nice. it gives a wonderful feeling juz worshipping God. coz u know that ur praying and lifting up ur voices and hands, to somebody that's true. i like listening to testimonials.. esp those of the older pple. it really touches me n makes me believe in God more.

but the devil juz keep coming back to haunt me and juz... keep giving doubts to me abt God. i've always tried to brush aside the feeling. but i juz cant stop thinking abt it. ytd during ipc, ahgong actually asked me to go to barker again at 8am to go for the conference again. i was pretty shocked coz he didnt ask shern and bev.. and i was thinking "my doubts in GOd really shows thru me meh? i dun even say anything abt my doubts" oh well, i really duno wat's w me. stop devil juz keeps pestering me. God, why cant u juz shut Him out of my life. i mean, i can juz go on and on abt how great GOd is. how He really saves and all. but there's this little side of me that jus thinks otherwise. and after a while, that little side of me grows. then i'll start stoning. i really hate it when pple ard me starts praising GOd and feels so happy. while i'm juz next to them juz clapping and singing. stop it tiff. it's only between u and God. that a phrase i was really touched by christine. when i asked her smth [kinda personal] she juz paused and juz replied that "it's only between u and God, tiff." it was so.. wow.


i really thank God for all the frens He has given me. oh yea, i juz roll of thunder hear my cry. i found the part where cassie wrote a whole //graph abt.. T.J. it is quite touching. after reading that 2nd last //graph, i juz thot abt eunice.i finally found the words to say wat i've been wanting to say abt my feelings for eunice. gonna write it down. but got the inspiration frm roll of thunder... heeearr my crrrrrry

eunice: I was nvr close to eunice. but she had always been there, a part of me, a part of my life, juz being there like the rain, trees and everything around..n i had thot that she always wld be. yet the rain n trees wld all pass one day. the trees wld wither one day. i knew and understood that.

it really was so sad when i read that TJ's gonna die. it was sad when TJ said that stacey was his one and only true fren. ok why am i talking like that hahaa

ok it feels good letting it all out. i dun really think anybody's reading until here. i'm really lawsaw and i know that. but there's nth bad eh? my lit wld be good =) but i dunno whether i shld take lit. coz during my 1st lit mid yr exam, i was at a lost as to think of wat to write. but as soon as i got my inspiration, i started writing and writing. but again, my vocab is really weak. as wat many teachers say. i know that myself. so pple, plz, when i ask u guys wat a cheem word u juz said means,
plz tell me ok! i really wanna strengthen my eng. and muz start preparing for eng o level. ok out of point.

well, if u guys wanna share anything w me, my email's tiffy_bubblespuff@hotmail ok? i wld really really appreciate it if ur juz tell me abt GOd or wateva la.. i wldnt ridicule or anything. but i really really love reading testimonials abt GOd.aiyah i wldnt mind anything and wateva u guys email me. anything relevant or wateva also can. hahaha.. i sided track a lot.n, it's so fun receiving emails! =X hehee..

oh yar!! abt IPC. INTERNATIONAL PRAYER CONFERENCE. there's a Youth Rally this friday nite[18/6] from 7.30-10. abt there la.shld try and make it! i think it wld be very good. ok i know it'll be! btw, it's at barker.. duno which part.

hahahhaa reminds me.. when dan and i wanted to sit upstairs, we started looking ard for a staircase.. then we walk here and there.. and when we opened some curtains, we saw the stage.. hehee.. we were backstage!! hahahhahaa.. super funny man! imagine if we had actually jumped thru the curtains and shout: we've finally found it! hahahhahaha.. gosh. i think i'm gonna start laughing whenever i see a curtain. ok that's all for today man.. my fingers still can go on leh.. wheee.. typing spree.anyway, sorry abt not for updating for super long. heh.. this ultra long entry shld make up for it? =)

happy days await us! =X bleh. sch's starting soon.

well, sorry to all my buddies.. nvr update for soo long. coz yar.. no time. last wk only played computer once or twice. haha.. i'm so much busier now compared than during the exams.. well, as i said in mel's blog, i dun i had studied enough.. and wasn't that kanchiong.. serious man.. after we got back our results n when the teachers left the classroom, 4 of us[charmain, poorky, celestine n me] went to the back of the classroom and started playing bridge. mel and i were even joking ard.. i failed geog.. 47.5/100. sigh!!! oh well, it's over. anyway, i dun like this yr's geog.. i got 3.5/25 for one section some more k.. i'm so loser. ok enough of de-grading myself. oops hahhaha.. i duno wat to write liao.. oh yes.

wow, so many pple tagged me =) thanx man!! so nice of u guys.. eh zhiyi! how u come here one... hahha.. u still swimming at keppel or not arh..

hmm, ytd was the 25th anniversary for AMC!! yay!! 3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers for AMC yadadada.. early in the morning 5.50am, woke up and left for the mrt.. in the end, reached the...kallang mrt at duno wat time. then took the caterpilla bus. it was crawling lor! gosh.. i couldnt take the slow-ness of it. wanted to scream at the driver to open the door then i run to the place. wld be soo much faster man.. arrghh! by the time i reached there, the competition ended.. that's wat i heard. *wahhh!!!* unfair man.. then wat's the point of me going.. didnt they wait for me??? SC won.. well, the kiasus always win la.. bet they left their homes at 4plus or smth la! oh well..

after that, went to kap for a while.. then went home, took my time to bath. but shern called to tell that they were gonna practise again for the 2nd time or smth. so chiong all the way la. was sweating so much. haha.. hmm.. after practising for so long, we went to eat lunch at subway. we were separated in fact. ate w joyce, sam and joanne lee! our dance teacher =) she's sucha good teacher!!

anyway, after that, we went to tiff ng's house.. i think. if not tiff goh la. then went to play ps. the pple play until so siao man.. hahha.. i only played bishi bashi or bashi bishi w tiff ng/goh. hahahhhaa.. that girl arh.. sec4 already still so siao one!! hahhaha.. so funny.. we 2 were playing when the rest of the pple changed liao... hahahah.. i wanna play w her again! she so cuteee!! anyway, joel and aaron were trying to confuse us.. so it was even funnier. luckily the machine or wateva wasnt spoilt la..

k then after that, we left for church in 2 separate taxis.. coz we played playstation for too long already. haha joel paid for our fare. heng man.. below $5.. if not i so paiseh.. natural instinct. k then had service. w chinese translation. gosh! the pple are like... wow. so pro at chinese!! then when we were singing the songs, sing in eng and chi.. cheem man.. kk

then after service, we went to pray.. at the covered play area or smth. anyway, then we had dinner. and we went to do our item! straight after we finished our item, we had to dance again. hahha.. the crowd loves us! wheee.. it was really a blessing from God to see so many pple excited over our dance =) and on stage, i saw many pple taking pics of us.. using their digital camera.. and even their hps! i think. so nice =)

oh well, i'm off to bed! nites =)

hmm, so exams are over! yay! but yea, i'll miss those days when we stayed back in class to study.. when we went to kap to 'study' but end up eating more instead. or that time when we went to westmall to look at guys *winks at chessa n ana* ;) ok so i haven't updated for a loooong time.. i think. let's see will start from monday. i cant rmb everything clearly

monday blaaah wat happened?!?! oh yes, science test.. it was ok i guess.. but i can nvr b sure of how well or badly i wld perform.. after science, went to kap w charmain and cherie.. haha crapped for a while then left. wanted to study for history at home..

tuesday had history.. hmm found it really difficult.. cant rmb la! i forget abt exam scripts too easily already.. then after sch, went to westmall w ana, chessa and mel poorrkky! then we ate at mos burger.. i ate there for e 1st time.. well, they left me a good impression. i'd write to CASE to praise them. haha.. shan't elaborate on their service.. coz it's quite ex too. hmm.. after chessa left, we walked ard n finally decided to study at e library. we finally settled at the children's section. after reading a few children bks, i studied. then when the grp of pple, taking e seats left, we chiong for them n cont studying.. hmm, then a grp of girls n boys soon came n occupied our kids corner.. hahhaha.. sucha funny name. n suddenly a nerd came in sight and chessa started laughing. well, i laughed softly. i wasnt so mean k. then another one soon came to join him and chessa laughed EVEN LOUDER. hahhahhahhaha

kk gtg bye

hey peeps!!! e 3rd grp most pple impt in my life =) after God and my family. heehee.. so how's sch?? i'm enjoying the exam days man! fine. today is only e 1st day of it. all the better! let time past SLLLOOOWWWLLY.. hahaha.. 1stly, we get to go home early! =) and i realised that my house is soooo nice in the afternoon! no kids screaming around. and the park is pretty nice! (= i like it! wanted to study outside.. but so hot.. bleh. ok. read down there|
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ok reason i'm updating is becoz everytime i come to my blog, i see the 'ok seniors.... wats going on thing' and it brings back memorise.. ugh. so i'm updating! i shall start up nice-ly. ok that was a nice start =) ok that arrow so sing eh one. haha who cares. k so today was eng 1 and lit. eng i did on family if u guys wanna know. yes yes... almost everybody's telling me, "tiffany! i saw that family thing and knew u were gona write on that!" haha duh. i can get v emotional and write all those touching stuff to move the examiner's heart.. causing her to give me a high grade. haha.. wat crap. i dont think i did that well.. during the climax i couldnt think of any good words. it was an arguement w my sister. n i exaggerated. a lot. and when i wrote that the arguement subsided, i didnt again, write a v nice ending. coz there wasnt enough time. during lit, same situation. NOT ENOUGH TIME!!! i was seriously scibbling thru my last qns.. the poem parts. ugh. anyway is the girl in the poem the girlfren?!?! i was not sure.. so i juz put "the boy this the girl that" oh well. it's all over. scenerio in class(in my point of view)

: nat loh, leisurely reading thru her qns.. flipping e paper here and there. then slowly staple her papers together [ i think ] i wasn't like staring at her. coz like our heads tilt when we write right.. so yup i could see her at the corner of my eye. and me, next to her, rushing and scribbling my paper like mad, stopping frequently to let blood flow. it shld be quite a funny scene. man, if i were actually perspiring coz i was so jing chang.. it wld be even funnier!! haha..

hmm.. then after sch, walked to the bus stop. talked to so many pple. then christine saw her dddd fren.. hAAHHA.. i shall not sabo her. ok then after that came home, talked to my brother.. ate lunch etc.. blah blah.. smsed beverly, shern and....joanne lee. senior in church. think i sounded really stupid. like this junior fan. errr kk nvm.. haha.. then woah. the smses really poured in.. from 3 of them. then stopped smsing jo. and beverly and shern. but coz i was taking so long to sms, i was smsing non stop. ugh. fingers pain arh.. then suddenly my phone started ringing. gave me a shock k. and guess wat. it's my fren's fren. stupid toot. he was like pranking call me.. and ?!??!?! duno wat he said.. smth like : he told us smth abt u. and i wanted to.... no my roommate.. no [somebody] wanted to find out ......
n the phone hung up. i was so pissed. coz suddenly there was complete silence w laughing in the background. sickening. i was juz giving mono replies.. hahahhah.. then called 2nd time, :sorry. i called the wrong person. it was not u who i wanted to me.........
"okokokok. i get it! my phone bill lah! bye."
muahahha... i rawk ok. i shld not have actually picked up. that stupid guy so law saw. but i heard him say "okokokok" so many times in a high pitched voice.. HAHHAHHA.. i cant even go that high!!!!! wait. my fren concluded that he likes my name. so that makes him my fan. wahahha.. who else wants to join the tiffany fan club. ok nvm that's so loser. he can be my only fan. shucks. wats my no1 fan's name. ahahha.. oh well...

ahh i've been trying to find the lyrics of "one way" by united life! ahh.. cant find. forget it. i'm off to studying the faces of the earth... ?!??! geog lah. eh shabs way of spelling geog: geografffiiiii hahahha.. i couldnt stop laughing when she typed that. it was on msn k. so imagine a girl laughing her head off when juz staring into this computer screen. oh well

one way! Jesus! ur the only one that i could live for
.....
you are the way, the truth and the life

ok i cant hear the rest of the lyrics.. but like if a girl like me cant even hear the rest, it's ok. well coz it's like i dont have the lyrics! but look. if those were the lyrics i could hear very clearly. it means that they emphasize on those words. yes. i wanna emphasize those into my life. still rmbed last time, nat thery asked me whether i was a strong christian. haha i think it was coz of those phrases i wrote in my diary. well i juz said straight off "no" i said that becoz i wanna be a strong christian. but i cant. it's my dream, my purpose of living that i wanna live for Him. i wanna be a real strong christian that even my frens at sch n the rest could see it. then maybe, pple might be touched on how God actually works in pple's life. i started off as a slack christian. oh well. i'm crapping here. God bless.

ok seniors.. so what's going on.. why are u suddenly feeling so against us c div runners. yes w/o weilin we wont even win at all. but do u have to tell us that? we're already enough demorilised[spelling?] what did we do? e new season has juz started. man, juz reading ur blogs make me feel v scared to face n train w u guys on monday. it makes me feel that i'm lousy[duh i am] and makes me think that i'm super inferior to u. yes i am inferior to u.. but sigh. i dunno.. anyway i'm juz v sorry if i've ever like made u guys feel wateva way u said on ur blogs. i dun know how to phrase it. but, juz rmb that i'm feeling v demorilised now. if saying that offends u, i'm really sorry.
come to think of it.. wheneva we're doing the workout, we wld always say we cant do it etc.. n our seniors gotta cheer us on etc.. yeah seniors, i know it's v tiring. sorry if i've eva made u guys feel this way. i know i've said i cant finish the workout and all. yeah it's really really super tiring juz trying to tell the juniors that they can do it n muz believe in themselves.. somehow i think i've experienced it b4.. sigh..

okok enough of X.. so going on to church. wait. gosh i think i'm pro man.. my brother was like whining and whining like mad.. then i asked him to stop crying and he juz stared at me and kept quiet! gosh. i rawk.. eh he's slping now!!!!! eyeerrr.... why am i so pro.. hahha.. kk.. i dunno why.. but when i went to church last sunday.. coz i went late, i was sitting near the door. and after service, i juz wanted to run to my sec2 grp and juz give them a hug.. coz i felt hyper.. so yea.. i ran there and almost juz acted super hyped up. but then i stopped. gosh.. why are e sec2 pple so..... =X matured? i duno.. but i felt v weird w them.. esp beverly.. sorry.. i'm not talking bad abt u k.. juz that i've always felt weird w u.. but i feel more 'homely' w rachdad.. but thing's that.. i cant really talk to her that well.. but on msn, we talk so much rubbish.. haha.. i loved that conversation w u and chris! gosh it even made my toes laugh k.. serious -.-/ hahha.. i feel ok w shern.. partly coz she's from the MG family too.. and we both go thru the same stress together.. juz that she can handle it better.. that clever toot! u so clever k.. hmm.. and tracy.. i think i can actually go quite well w her.. juz that she's too quiet.. evan... aiyah... that girl. no comments =P kidding lah. that hyper gal.. haha.. so scary when she gets pissed man. well for annabelle.. she's quite a nice girl to talk to.. juz that she like mei mian zi like that. she keeps teasing me about him when i dont even like him at all.. gosh.. only reason i blushed during church camp when ur suddenly talked about it was becoz he was there! juz one table away. and u guys juz happily chatting away about how i like him. when i only knew hu he was few hrs ago. u noe how embarrasing is that. it's as if u like ur brother in that bgr way.. sheesh. and last but not least.. my gay partner!! woohoo.. hahhahha.. o.O that really sounded gross. no i didnt type that ok! it was my hyper side typing it.. i feel inferior to her. coz she's so smart! hmph! haha.. well maybe i really know why i feel Xtra. coz ur all are from choir lah.. girl guides.. gym.. volleyball.. drama etc. and me, X country. an Xtra cca. the only sport cca while u all are in 'cultured' cca or wateva it's called. haha.. oh wait. there's volleyball too.. but that volleyball-er[tracy] so quiet! >.<" so anyway.. after church i ate there n started doing lit.. then almost fell asleep. suddenly henry,sam,chris,ben,yuliang,rach tham,jo huang and her fren.. and shern came.. eh so fun man! great ahgong was teaching them some weird cup game.. wahhah then i was distracted from lit. who cares abt lit! my frenz are more impt. hahha.. then we all left for fairfield's bball court to go play there.. but b4 that the guys were trying to do all sorts of funny stunts -.- w rach and me laughing. haha.. shern and to leave!!! aww... so sad k.. it was really fun playing bball.. though i was juz standing there.. bai mei lah. haha how to play bball >.< oh yar! erm... that guy was there too.. oh yes. ashley. k so after that we left.. but rach wanted to run one round around the track b4 going back to church.. then ben accompanied her w another guy.. cant rmb. then everybody left.. and it was left ben, chris, me and my 2 meis! gosh i didnt know ben e quiet mickey mouse was so talkative and funny.. hahha i was laughing most of the time w they 2 debating over e traffic light being a tree. how lame is that.. then we got a taxi and left for tuition.. leaving the crappy pple behind.. hahaha it was so fun man! it's making me excited for tmr!

today, had track meet. yay! woke up at 6 and reached ACJC at 0730. had the events going.. then cheerleading competition.. woah pro man! but jackson couldnt do their major stunts. aww.. nah it's alrite =) jackson still did a real good job! we got 2nd!!! for cheerleading. and blackmore 1st.. they deserved it. they were good. i realised what's cheerleaders' fave line. person 1: ready? pple: ok!
hahhaha.. so cute! but too common so not really nice. then we had the relays!! yay.. i ran 8 by 50m [ coz got not enough pple k. i didnt like:yay! run 50m !! so fun !! -.-] and 4*400m.. we got 1st for both!!!! 8*50 was really fast k. it was as if i ran for 10secs only. hahah.. and that sec1 ah-ma-deh-la person was ultra fast k! i dunno her name. hahha it was so funny.. b4 the race our team were 'practising passing the bat-ten' and when that sec1 gal got the bat-ten thing, my team members were all 'bowing' to her. hahhahha so funny. then 4*400.. franky was super fast.. then geraldine was super fast too! and once i got the bat-ten, i started chionging.. and i heard footsteps behind.. thinking it was christine, i sped up again. i didnt want to lose the christine since i started running off earlier than her. but actual fact was that danielle was behind me. oh well.. at least i did my best.. but i was damn toot. i slowed down at the end!!!! i was v scared to pass the bat-ten. anyway i did it w/o dropping the baiten. then off went joy! w weilin behind.. gosh weilin recovered v quickly.. and was juz few steps behind joy! so scary. i was like screaming my lungs off. coz i knew i slowed down at the end.. and i wld feel super bad if we got 2nd. but weilin was tired.. so sad. she was the 4th in c div for nationals! but WE WON!!!!! man i was soo happy. franky and geraldine are super fast! haha.. 2 netballers, 2 crossies. man i felt xtra. coz i was so short compared to them. oh well.. so for 2.4 i muz buck up! i wanna get 2nd again.. like i did since p4.. but there're so many good runners in class.. eg. joy[duh], ethel, franky, natalie, shiyan, lynette, venessa.. aiyah. so many lah. i'm too tired to rmb all the names.. oh man! i wanted to study at like...... 6.45? i over shot! oops. crap. anyway i feel better letting my feelings go =) i bet nobody's reading now.. haha who wld actually read this boring entry till here =P kk gotta eat dinner. ahh!! church tmr =B ----- > =X

hey guys.. k so like today was our 1st day back to training =) e feelings great. though i know that in time to come, we'll meet the difficulties again like we faced last yr. we'll meet troubles.. lack of time management.. late nites of studying.. stress.. feel so bleh physically and mentally. but this yr, it's gonna be worse.. coz of the new stuff mr ng intro-ed to us. but we all know that w God's help we'll pull thru yeah? i was quite nervous for today coz like.. yar.. 1st day of trg again. during our 3wk break, i recovered fully from the competition.. which was good. i felt that i never had eva ran in my life. that i'm not a Xie at all. but doing e trg days.. i felt that i've smth missing me in.. smth missing in my life. after sch on Monday/Wednesday or Friday, i would wonder during the last period.. hmm what am i gonna do after sch? n i really forgot i usually had X trgs.. and after a while, i juz realised it. i realise that running's part of my life. though my schedule's super hectic, and i cant study that much.. i realise that X country has actually made me a stronger person. X has brought me closer to God as i pray to Him for energy etc during the race. when i had my stitch[which was like killing] during the X comp, i juz wanted to give up. it's true. i duno what got to me. but God cheered me on.. He gave me the courage.. He gave me good supporters that can actually cheer for me that i dont even know. k fine besides judy.[those were the ACJC pple =) i love u AC seniors =)] so i started jogging. jogging ok. and i let a good whole lot of 20+ 30 pple pass me. i thought i was a failure. i felt super demoralised[spelling?!?!?] i really wanted to stop thinkin that i'll be pulling e team down anyway.. and chris wld definately speed up anyway. but my legs juz went on. the power of God. anyway i realised that chris didnt do that well.. and heng ah.. lucky i didnt stop. and coz of all those trgs.. i couldnt go out as much.. but i had my fair share of fun =) go kap lah.. go here and there.. and when reach home late, blame it on trg haha. but it's always the same pple i'm going out w. yay! Xie rox.. they dont make me feel weird.. or that i'm xtra.. coz that's what we are! Xtra.

ok that was out of point.. well today after assembly, went to chapel for Discover Jesus Wk. so sad the sec4s could only watch thru the projecter screen. hmm.. then we watched will hung!!! wahhaha.. and then a will hung look alike came and started dancing.. 4 gals went up to be the girl dancers.. haha rmb that time i went to watch a will hung show then one part the 4 gals went to hold william and kissed him. HAHHAHA yar and jennifer was quite enthu.. as usual.. haha.. and that sec4 gal was so cute!!! dance like it's nobody's business.. haha so cute man. the other 2 juz following him. then we watched part of Scream. gosh it's super freaky. but i dun see y it's so scary until muz scream like siao.. man i wanna go watch those scary shows!! w erm...anybody? haha wanpin!! then scream until everybody irritated.whahha..

oopies.. daddy's calling me.. so yar.. i really felt that i needed to update today.. woah last update was quite... oh. only 2 days ago. but it was rubbish lah.. haha