Friday, May 25, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
The dreams of a little girl
White dress, prince charming and sunsets
They all seem so far away
Buried by heartbreaks, broken dreams and hurt
So now she is surrounded by meaningless pursuits
While she bears a harden heart
Independent but with more guards
Can't anybody see through-
See through all her defences?
That beyond the fortress is a soft(?) and fragile girl
Well, it took me a while to figure it (all) out
Twas' tough but somehow held on
Now I find myself wanting to change
To be the man that she needs
....
White dress, prince charming and sunsets
They all seem so far away
Buried by heartbreaks, broken dreams and hurt
So now she is surrounded by meaningless pursuits
While she bears a harden heart
Independent but with more guards
Can't anybody see through-
See through all her defences?
That beyond the fortress is a soft(?) and fragile girl
Well, it took me a while to figure it (all) out
Twas' tough but somehow held on
Now I find myself wanting to change
To be the man that she needs
....
Today, i got used-but i dont come here saying that with hurt and sadness because it was my Creator who used me. Feels good to know that what i do can be for a part of a greater plan. i am very, very moved. :) pretty amazing! ~
Rly wna talk abt it now but too lazy to type... Lolllll. Some other time :)
Rly wna talk abt it now but too lazy to type... Lolllll. Some other time :)
Monday, May 21, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Harrypotz at heel area. Got this when i was dismounting my bike... Or was i merely walking w it? O.o dont rmb. Rode/pushed my bike to tiong to run some errands. Zzz when will i get over my fear of riding on the rd... Accumulated sooo many cuts and scars and what not from riding...
When i looked down and saw the wound thr, i promise you i almost lost it...... It was slowly flowing down then it was rlyyyy terrifying. Anyway some dude talked t me while i was wearing back my helmet 'hello, hello.. The other way round' *faintz*zzxzxzxxxx. Nubshit!
When i looked down and saw the wound thr, i promise you i almost lost it...... It was slowly flowing down then it was rlyyyy terrifying. Anyway some dude talked t me while i was wearing back my helmet 'hello, hello.. The other way round' *faintz*zzxzxzxxxx. Nubshit!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Hello. Ive mastered my second song! Tong hua :) learnt it in F major though.... Which is too high for me actly... Found another video that teaches at lower key! But im so @.@ to relearn so.....yeah. Haha F major it is :) took abt 2 days to learn it! :)
Ytd morning, woke up at 5am to meet coach peetz for bike drills session.. This morning, i went to help uncle kevin and family shift their stuff over to their new house. It was majorly tiring and i perspire like nobodys biz as usual. Main thing though is that i woke up before 9am for two days! Am loving it :) am hoping to wake up early tmr too. Go practise my bike drills (which is SUPER cheem and tiring for my arms) then go for a run after that hopefully.
Port dickson is in early july. So ive only abt 1.5 mths left @.@ lol, barely started trng.. And its my first time doing a tri so i rly dont know what to do.... :((( :/
Ytd morning, woke up at 5am to meet coach peetz for bike drills session.. This morning, i went to help uncle kevin and family shift their stuff over to their new house. It was majorly tiring and i perspire like nobodys biz as usual. Main thing though is that i woke up before 9am for two days! Am loving it :) am hoping to wake up early tmr too. Go practise my bike drills (which is SUPER cheem and tiring for my arms) then go for a run after that hopefully.
Port dickson is in early july. So ive only abt 1.5 mths left @.@ lol, barely started trng.. And its my first time doing a tri so i rly dont know what to do.... :((( :/
Monday, May 14, 2012
Got woken up by dad cos alex managed to escape from his cage, lol. Supposed to wake up 430..... To cycle w peets. And its alr 230. Im thinking of staying up because im scared ill struggle to get up later if i close my eyes..but i think ill jst take a nap.. Ha. Why must cycling be done in wee hrs of morning :(
Am learning 童话 on the piano now! Hope ive the patience to finish it :)
Am learning 童话 on the piano now! Hope ive the patience to finish it :)
Friday, May 11, 2012
Just started on Catching Fire (2nd book of the Hunger Games trilogy). Watched The Avengers (hulk, thor, capt america, hawkeye, iron man and black widow -> yes i did my hw before gng for the movie!) -> can i pause here and just say that i really liked the cast... Lokey and Thor's voices are usual captivated me.. Loved capt america's bravery and sense of loyalty. Hawkeye was ,cool. Haha i dno why but i found him qte attractive.
ANYWAY. One of the things that struck me from the avengers is when lokey ( the antagonist ) was in pursuit of taking over the world or something , he obviously encountered some of the avengers individually. Thor, and some other people i cant rmb who, tried to talk him out of it. They told Lokey that it was pointless to struggle to win because ' you are meant to lose' and 'you are not meant to be on top'.
Its as if to say, dont bother struggling, the race-and consequently the winner-has alr been predetermined.
On to the overriding thought thats on my mind almost throughout hungergames 1 and now 2....... What do we make out of life? Katniss, the lead character, questioned that frequently. She did so the first time when she was in the arena. She was thinking that she might really have had a chance to win the games. And then she will be able to return home and receive lavish gifts and monies for winning the games. This wld provide for a very comfortable life thereafter and wldnt need to work or spend her life hunting for food. Then...what? What will she do with all that spare time now?
Third pt for this post, haha: this social fabrication we 'operate' in-brave new world, hunger games and MATRIX portrayed it very well..im talking abt the actual lives that we live out..gng to sch, finding a partner to settle for life, get a job and work till retirement then die..or even the recreational activities that we indulge in- is it a lie? Even if it is so, this 'lie' does provide comfort.
Because wld you rather 'get out of the lie' then? If you do, what next? In hunger games, the social hierarchy is from the Capitol-the ppl who won the war, then Districts 1-12, 12 being the poorest. And in Brave New world, we have the Alphas-the richest and smartest ppl, Betas, Gammas then the savages in remote areas. Im posed the qn if i wna be like the Capitolians and Alphas-who buy into the fabric, do not question things and .:. lead happy and lavish lives- or like the ppl in the lower Districts and Savages-who do not buy into the fabrication, qn the way things are and therefore lead very miserable lives because of the revelation.
So do i want to question things and put myself in this miserable state of being or just accept assumptions and the way things are and be 'happy'.
One thing i must pt out ,though, is that MAYBE the Alpha-like people do not question things and accept things as they are because they are at the top and receiving end of this fabric. They lead comfortable lives, this spun up tale is to their advantage so theres no reason to qn the assumptions.
That IS one way of thinking about this issue.. If so, then what am i lacking in? What am i being deprived of so greatly that my dissatisfaction and displeasure (i dont know if its of the way things are or of life) hurts me, throws me off balance into a disorientation of mind that i get engulfed in?...
Whatever it is, Catching Fire is going to be a really difficult book to get through (also cos im gna need more time to reread and digest things haha).. Yet enticing because it carries so much truth.
Went for my church's choir practice for the first time today hah. The people really are so much more cheerful than they look every sun :x (maybe cos its been a while too...)
Ok gdngt, need to wake up at 530 for a bike ride with coach peter! Cool rgt
ANYWAY. One of the things that struck me from the avengers is when lokey ( the antagonist ) was in pursuit of taking over the world or something , he obviously encountered some of the avengers individually. Thor, and some other people i cant rmb who, tried to talk him out of it. They told Lokey that it was pointless to struggle to win because ' you are meant to lose' and 'you are not meant to be on top'.
Its as if to say, dont bother struggling, the race-and consequently the winner-has alr been predetermined.
On to the overriding thought thats on my mind almost throughout hungergames 1 and now 2....... What do we make out of life? Katniss, the lead character, questioned that frequently. She did so the first time when she was in the arena. She was thinking that she might really have had a chance to win the games. And then she will be able to return home and receive lavish gifts and monies for winning the games. This wld provide for a very comfortable life thereafter and wldnt need to work or spend her life hunting for food. Then...what? What will she do with all that spare time now?
Third pt for this post, haha: this social fabrication we 'operate' in-brave new world, hunger games and MATRIX portrayed it very well..im talking abt the actual lives that we live out..gng to sch, finding a partner to settle for life, get a job and work till retirement then die..or even the recreational activities that we indulge in- is it a lie? Even if it is so, this 'lie' does provide comfort.
Because wld you rather 'get out of the lie' then? If you do, what next? In hunger games, the social hierarchy is from the Capitol-the ppl who won the war, then Districts 1-12, 12 being the poorest. And in Brave New world, we have the Alphas-the richest and smartest ppl, Betas, Gammas then the savages in remote areas. Im posed the qn if i wna be like the Capitolians and Alphas-who buy into the fabric, do not question things and .:. lead happy and lavish lives- or like the ppl in the lower Districts and Savages-who do not buy into the fabrication, qn the way things are and therefore lead very miserable lives because of the revelation.
So do i want to question things and put myself in this miserable state of being or just accept assumptions and the way things are and be 'happy'.
One thing i must pt out ,though, is that MAYBE the Alpha-like people do not question things and accept things as they are because they are at the top and receiving end of this fabric. They lead comfortable lives, this spun up tale is to their advantage so theres no reason to qn the assumptions.
That IS one way of thinking about this issue.. If so, then what am i lacking in? What am i being deprived of so greatly that my dissatisfaction and displeasure (i dont know if its of the way things are or of life) hurts me, throws me off balance into a disorientation of mind that i get engulfed in?...
Whatever it is, Catching Fire is going to be a really difficult book to get through (also cos im gna need more time to reread and digest things haha).. Yet enticing because it carries so much truth.
Went for my church's choir practice for the first time today hah. The people really are so much more cheerful than they look every sun :x (maybe cos its been a while too...)
Ok gdngt, need to wake up at 530 for a bike ride with coach peter! Cool rgt
Thursday, May 10, 2012
But then...what? What would my life be like on a daily basis? Most of it has been consumed with the acquisition of food. Take that away and I'm not really sure who i am, what my identity is.
The idea scares me.
-Katniss in Hunger Games on the prospects of winning the games and no longer having to face starvation because of all the gifts and monies tt wld bs lavished on the victors.
The idea scares me.
-Katniss in Hunger Games on the prospects of winning the games and no longer having to face starvation because of all the gifts and monies tt wld bs lavished on the victors.
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Got rid of some old stuff in my room, shifted some furniture... And it is 3am. But i just feel incomplete. So i take the Hunger Games book, and promised to read only for an hour till 4am. The next time i am distracted and put down the book, its 430! ?? I really dont know how it happened haha.
Anyway... Thunder is rumbling, strong winds outside and its chill :) really awesome weather, love to bask in it but for my human's sake, i shld slp...
Watched running man tonight too, coupled with intense reading from hungergames..i think ill forfeit the awesome weather to slp in and go to my parents room. Hahaha the last time i had a HG nightmare, it affected me qte badly. (HG the movie was fantastic. And after watching runningman for abt 9mths, ive grown to be pretty familiar with its style-which i parallel closely to HG! except the dying part)
Oh, and this evening, it was still pretty bright at 630 so i decide to go for a ride-wanted to go to 'secretspot' but was lazy to run thr too haha. Alternated btwn looking cool and like a fool by cycling/walking along my bike/cycling. Wtv it is, i reached there and it was nice :) havent been thr in a loooong while! Discovered tht renovations near by was completed sooo the running route is extended! Rly hope to have someone to run there with-running alone is boring unless im contemplating abt stuff.
Came back, taught ryan chinese for a bit then decided to go for a run. I dont ever have a route in mind but always end up gng to clarke quay or sentosa (oh gosh, tht felt good to say haha! Strategic residential location :)). So tdy, i decided on sth new. Everytime i reach an intersection and cant decide whether to go left/right, ill check my watch. At tt moment, if the seconds timing is even, i turn left. Odd, right. So at my first intersection, it was even. And i ran twds chinatown. Decided to check out pinnacle@duxton! I cldnt find the lift lobby tht brought me up though :( the lighting was not gd plus my eyesight is pretty horrid at ngt so i left aft a while. Its a nice place to hang out at though.
I dont know where i was heading towards after that but i learnt tt once i started running, i shld not stopped. So i did not. Anyway the feeling of not knowing where i was going was pretty thrilling. I still knew whr i was though. Eventually i ended up at tanjong pagar road (according to the signboard).
I was focussing on being stable-most of the restaurants at tt lane were alfresco so i decided to run at the rd shoulder. After a while, something got to me and i stopped in my tracks and looked at my surroundings. I suddenly felt like i was overseas-korea to be exact prob cos it made the deepest impression on me. The buildings along that stretch was v different from typical singapore infrastructure designs. The shops opposite me were brightly lit-a number displaying beautiful (i think) bridal gowns. (All i needed was cool and unhumid air.) It gave off a v laidback vibe and i liked it.
Running along, i suddenly noticed an snsd poster. I didnt know wht kind of shop wld wna ruin its image w an snsd poster on its front door so i went back t examine it hahaha. Then i saw SUPER JUNIOR. ok i must know what this shop offers haha. But 1 i cant even figure out the name of the shop-too obscure 2 it was under renovations so the interior is rly messy and all. All i know is tht it offers SM entertainment pdts during certain periods. Further down, was a line of korean restaurants. I was almost moved to tears...... !
When i found a korean restaurant at tohyi (WHICH ive been craving to go back to for more than half a year now :((( ), i was elated since it seemed so rare. Tanjong Pagar...i really like it. Reminds me that i probably think singapore is boring because i dont know what and how much it has to offer. There are so many such random lanes along chinatown that ive yet to know, let alone in other parts of this island! :) i like how this relevation makes the future so promising.
Okay its raining now.... And im cold. Awesome, i love this. But gd night for now. Am meeting a friend i made from sim but who meant soooo much to me (till she left lol! I was so affected by her departure tht i actly erased her out of my memory). oops, that was longer than expected.
Anyway... Thunder is rumbling, strong winds outside and its chill :) really awesome weather, love to bask in it but for my human's sake, i shld slp...
Watched running man tonight too, coupled with intense reading from hungergames..i think ill forfeit the awesome weather to slp in and go to my parents room. Hahaha the last time i had a HG nightmare, it affected me qte badly. (HG the movie was fantastic. And after watching runningman for abt 9mths, ive grown to be pretty familiar with its style-which i parallel closely to HG! except the dying part)
Oh, and this evening, it was still pretty bright at 630 so i decide to go for a ride-wanted to go to 'secretspot' but was lazy to run thr too haha. Alternated btwn looking cool and like a fool by cycling/walking along my bike/cycling. Wtv it is, i reached there and it was nice :) havent been thr in a loooong while! Discovered tht renovations near by was completed sooo the running route is extended! Rly hope to have someone to run there with-running alone is boring unless im contemplating abt stuff.
Came back, taught ryan chinese for a bit then decided to go for a run. I dont ever have a route in mind but always end up gng to clarke quay or sentosa (oh gosh, tht felt good to say haha! Strategic residential location :)). So tdy, i decided on sth new. Everytime i reach an intersection and cant decide whether to go left/right, ill check my watch. At tt moment, if the seconds timing is even, i turn left. Odd, right. So at my first intersection, it was even. And i ran twds chinatown. Decided to check out pinnacle@duxton! I cldnt find the lift lobby tht brought me up though :( the lighting was not gd plus my eyesight is pretty horrid at ngt so i left aft a while. Its a nice place to hang out at though.
I dont know where i was heading towards after that but i learnt tt once i started running, i shld not stopped. So i did not. Anyway the feeling of not knowing where i was going was pretty thrilling. I still knew whr i was though. Eventually i ended up at tanjong pagar road (according to the signboard).
I was focussing on being stable-most of the restaurants at tt lane were alfresco so i decided to run at the rd shoulder. After a while, something got to me and i stopped in my tracks and looked at my surroundings. I suddenly felt like i was overseas-korea to be exact prob cos it made the deepest impression on me. The buildings along that stretch was v different from typical singapore infrastructure designs. The shops opposite me were brightly lit-a number displaying beautiful (i think) bridal gowns. (All i needed was cool and unhumid air.) It gave off a v laidback vibe and i liked it.
Running along, i suddenly noticed an snsd poster. I didnt know wht kind of shop wld wna ruin its image w an snsd poster on its front door so i went back t examine it hahaha. Then i saw SUPER JUNIOR. ok i must know what this shop offers haha. But 1 i cant even figure out the name of the shop-too obscure 2 it was under renovations so the interior is rly messy and all. All i know is tht it offers SM entertainment pdts during certain periods. Further down, was a line of korean restaurants. I was almost moved to tears...... !
When i found a korean restaurant at tohyi (WHICH ive been craving to go back to for more than half a year now :((( ), i was elated since it seemed so rare. Tanjong Pagar...i really like it. Reminds me that i probably think singapore is boring because i dont know what and how much it has to offer. There are so many such random lanes along chinatown that ive yet to know, let alone in other parts of this island! :) i like how this relevation makes the future so promising.
Okay its raining now.... And im cold. Awesome, i love this. But gd night for now. Am meeting a friend i made from sim but who meant soooo much to me (till she left lol! I was so affected by her departure tht i actly erased her out of my memory). oops, that was longer than expected.
Saturday, May 05, 2012
Dear God, why is my heart is burdened today? :(
I was thinking , just with these few issues to handle in my life and im gng delirious, having a terrible toll on my mental and physical being... But You have to handle ALLLLLL the worlds probs-indivs, relations, natural disasters, the way of the universe...... Goodness, Youve heck of a job on Your hands..Youre insanely good haha.
Makes me wonder whether You have actly broken down and felt powerless before...
I was thinking , just with these few issues to handle in my life and im gng delirious, having a terrible toll on my mental and physical being... But You have to handle ALLLLLL the worlds probs-indivs, relations, natural disasters, the way of the universe...... Goodness, Youve heck of a job on Your hands..Youre insanely good haha.
Makes me wonder whether You have actly broken down and felt powerless before...
Thursday, May 03, 2012
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