5. You will do things that hurt you just because you’re not ready to feel good yet.
3. You can’t do everything. When you’re in college or fresh out, you have all of these opportunities readily available, and you want all of them. Why be one thing when you grow up when you can be seven? But eventually, you’re going to have to decide what you want to be for the rest of your life and commit to what’s truly important. It sounds terrifying, and it is. But you get the best gift out of it: discovering yourself.
4. You’ll never figure it all out. I once asked my therapist how old she was when she figured out her life, and she erupted in laughter, wiping actual tears from her eyes. She told me that most people never do, and that’s okay. Most of everything in the universe is beyond your comprehension. How could your life be any different? But that doesn’t mean it isn’t worthy of our awe and rapture. That’s precisely what makes life beautiful: our ability to be humbled by a world that’s bigger than us.
5. An understanding that cheating can be emotional as well as physical.
Spoiler alert: You don’t actually have to touch genitals to have cheated on someone and/or betrayed their trust. If you are having deep, personal, romantic conversations with someone behind your partner’s back, if you are still harboring feelings for someone else, if you are seriously considering other possibilities while still completely attached to your current flame — you are being an asshole and should stop it. It’s insane how many people don’t acknowledge the myriad ways that someone can be cheated on that don’t actually involve sex. Do you really think that your partner finding out that you’ve been exchanging passionate emails with an ex is going to be that much less destructive than having slept with someone else? I mean, in many cases, knowing that there were actual feelings involved make it all the worse, as it can’t just be brushed off as a drunken mistake. Let’s at least provide each other the decency of breaking up with our partners before engaging in Nicholas Sparks-esque gchats with the cute girl from work.
10. Honesty.
It sounds so obvious: We should be honest and forthright with people we claim to love. Like, of course. But it’s funny how much we forget that honesty extends to every part of our life with someone — it’s not just “I don’t cheat on them and we’re cool.” Lies of omission count as lies. Not being up-front about the things we want from the beginning count as lies. Deciding that there is only a certain amount of yourself you are willing to show to the other person, or facets of your personality you deem acceptable to expose, is setting yourself up for an inevitable failure (or at least huge problems). Part of being able to trust someone is knowing that, even if the question is uncomfortable, you’re going to get a legitimate answer. And if there are parts of your life you are not willing to be real about if put on the spot, perhaps you should consider your desire to “share” your life in the first place.
nvr thought abt some things this way... i guess i need to examine myself as much