In the middle of the night
That's when you caught my eye
I chased you round in memories
Through the breeze and trees and you tease me
But hey

The clock's turning around
And you're still playing these games
It's such a waste to bring me down, down, down
Don't bring me down cause

Hey girl,I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl,I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl,you've got an undertow
Hey girl,hey girl, don't wanna let you go

When I turned sixteen
That's when I started to dream
I chased you round in memories
Throuh the breeze and the trees and you tease me
But hey

Well every princess has her night
And I'm still in it for the fight
Not givin in, I'm gonna win, win, win
I'm gonna win cause

Hey girl,I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl,I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl,you've got an undertow
Hey girl,hey girl don't wanna let you go

I'm never gonna let you go

Hey girl, I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl, I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl, you've got an undertow
Hey girl, hey girl, dont wanna let you

Hey girl, I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl, I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl, you've got an undertow
Hey girl, hey girl, don't wanna let you
Hey girl, hey girl don't wanna let you go
I'll never let you go
Alright

i was happily listening to that song and balancing on a very narrow pathway when i saw the scariest thing(animal) i've ever seen in my life. my shit. i think i'm traumatised for life. but hey, now i'll NVR look down again when i run :D (gee what a great way to learn to look up)

To realize The value of a sister:
Ask someone Who doesn't have one.

To realize The value of ten years:
Ask a newly Divorced couple.

To realize The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize The value of one year:
Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.

To realize The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize The value of one minute:
Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize The value of one-second:
Ask a person Who has survived an accident...

To realize The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.

(and may i boldly add one to this beautiful poem)
To realise the value of a mere National Champion trophy:
Fail once; once is enough.

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God. :)

hello. today was a crazy day. i almost cried in front of the public at people's park. but anger surpassed sadness. and i just finished reading percy article! share with you guys one of his phrases which he has so clearly put into words of what i feel abt cross :D

Endless running should be indulged in for the benefits derived from the sweat and pain of vigorous exercise.

(if i sound arrogant or anything, i'm not showing off or whatever. not saying i did a fab time lah. but i'm happy abt my time lah. AIYOH shh)
i really enjoyed trg on monday. being able to keep up with runqian(an rj girl that does sub60 for 12k :)) really motivated me a lot. and the fact that i could actually go faster.. :) but i didnt lah. i was too afraid. stupid me. i was scared if i was running in front of her (how much further can i go. i was going 75% already. if i pushed it'll be abt 5-10% only), she'll overtake me soon after. or maybe like after one of those markings. i'll get so demoralised. besides, i dont really like competing during trg cos theres a slight chance i'll 'lose' then die liao. try not competing as much as i can first =x comps are coming up soon. so i just paced her and tried pushing her a bit more when i found some energy from the air. hmm also, i wasnt used to my bouncy hair (GOSH IT WAS FREAKING IRRITATING) so i concentrated on the bounce of my hair. then run qian's hair was also short so it kept flying. i was wondering for e last 4km how short hair people could stand their hair. so my eyes were fixed on runqian's hair and that's it. slowly, the 0.5km markS came and passed. i dont know what's so interesting abt her hair but i was really 'fascinated' by them and thought i was passing the marks really quickly. then suddenly an rjc guy strided past us. (i rmb he wanted to run with some ta boh instead of renuka. but he was the only one that overtook us) i thought he must be damn good a runner who underestimates himself. whoa runqian was scary. she suddenly opened up her steps, seemingly to try to run with him. i thought siao liao..i'm so tired already. but i crazy crazy ran with her. it seemed like a 200m mark rather than a 500m one. it seemed that fast. i was running behind her most of the time so i dont have to endure the wind =/ initially when she overtook me, i didnt really want to run with her cos i was afraid. i was scared i wldnt be able to handle it. but then i thought i needed to prove myself and i really needed a pacer. (dan weilin n rjc girl in front were only a few steps away but it was diff. to catch them. and i dont like running in a grp. having a personal running buddy nicer :)) i also wanted to run with her cos i wanted to shake her hand after e run. hehehee. i get this weird satisfaction when i shake my running buddy's hand and say 'good run :)' at the end. heh i was really motivated by that thought. i'm glad i took e step of faith to chase runqian before she realised that bouncyhaired mgs girl is gonna be brave to run with her. she was so encouraging that i felt so bad a partner if i didnt cheer her on(which i rarely did). soon we reached 6km mark. sighh i was so sad it was gonna be my last 100m so i chiong kah liao. i saw grace1h and thought. i'm going to beat her. i MUST beat her. walao i sprint until like mad woman lah but i didnt overtake in the end. but from swimming and running race experiences, my timing shld be split secs slower only.ok maybe 1sec. but i heck care her lah. i was still happy i was finally over with 6100m. then after e run, runqian told me she thought finish at 6k mark so she slowed down but she saw me still running, so she cont ed and said i was pushing her a lot :) and she wasnt sure i was able to do sub60 then since i nvr ran with her. but she's certain i could do it now since i just ran with her. then 'must have confidence :)' so nice.

i was thinking, then, that athletes really follow their coaches. character, talking wise sense. hahahah. i thought mr quek got her to talk to me..but i doubt so lah. haha :) she was really friendly. i had a great last run there :) at least i made it count. i'm gonna miss there though :( but i've 2nd thoughts if i'd ever wanna go back there again hahahaha. ok i'm gonna meet jen in 7 1/2hrs for lit 'tuition' but i'm still awake. bad me shhh.

tricia just made me excited for sch/

hello. today was a crazy day. i almost cried in front of the public at people's park. but anger surpassed sadness. i just finished reading percy article! share with you guys one of his phrases which he has so clearly put into words of what i feel abt cross :D

Endless running should be indulged in for the benefits derived from the sweat and pain of vigorous exercise.

(if i sound arrogant or anything, i'm not showing off or whatever. not saying i did a fab time lah. but i'm happy abt my time lah. AIYOH shh)

i truly enjoyed trg on monday. being able to keep up with runqian(an rj girl that does sub60 for 12k :)) really motivated me a lot. and the fact that i could actually go faster.. :) but i didnt lah. i was too afraid. stupid me. i was scared if i ran in front of her (how much further can i go. i was going 80% already. if i pushed it'll be abt 5-10% only), she'll overtake me soon after. or maybe after one of those markings. i'll get so demoralised. besides, i dont really like competing during trg cos theres a slight chance i'll 'lose' then die liao. try not to compete as much as i can first; comps are coming soon. so i just paced her and tried pushing her a bit when i found minimal energy from the air.

i wasnt used to my bouncy hair (it was IRRITATING) so i no choice concentrate on the bouncing. run qian's hair also short so it kept flying. i was wondering for e last 4km how short hair pple can stand their hair. my eyes were fixed on runqian's hair and that's it. slowly, the 0.5km markS came and passed. i dont know what's so interesting abt her hair but i was really 'fascinated' by them and thought i was passing the marks really quickly.

suddenly an rjguy strided past us. (i rmb he wanted to run with some taboh instead of renuka. but he was the only one that overtook us) i comforted myself; he must be damn good a runner who underestimates himself. runq suddenly opened up, seemingly trying to run with him. i thought siao liao..i'm so tired already. but i didnt want to lose her so chase lah. i was running behind her most of the time so no wind to sway me.

initially when she overtook me at abt the 2k mark, i didnt want to run with her cos of what mr q said abt. but i decided that today's trg shall be determined by today's performance and not what we've done before. i needed to prove myself and i really needed a pacer. (dan weilin n rjc girl in front were only a few steps away but it was tough to catch them. and i dont like running in a grp. personal running buddy nicer :)) i also wanted to run with her cos i wanted to shake her hand after e run. hehehee. i get this weird satisfaction when i shake my running buddy's hand and say 'good run :)' at the end. heh i was really inspired by that scene. i'm glad i took e step of faith to chase runqian before she realised that bouncyhaired mgs girl is gonna be brave to run with her. she was so encouraging;i felt so bad a partner if i didnt cheer her on(which i rarely did).

soon we reached 6km mark. sighh i was so sad it was gonna be my last 100m so i chiong kah liao. i saw grace1h and thought. i'm going to beat her. i MUST beat her. walao i sprint until like mad woman but still not good enough. from swimming and running race experiences, my timing shld be split secs slower only.ok maybe 1sec. but i was still v happy i was finally over with 6.1k w/o walking. runqian told me after the run that she thought finish at 6k mark so she slowed down but she saw me still running, so she cont ed and; 'i was pushing her a lot' :) and she wasnt sure i was able to do sub60 then since i nvr ran with her. but she's certain i could do it now as i just ran with her. then 'must have confidence! can one :)' so nice.

i was thinking, then, that athletes really take after their coaches. character, talking wise sense. hahahah. i thought mr quek got her to talk to me..but i doubt so lah. haha :) she was really friendly. great last run :) at least i made it count. but i'm gonna miss there :( i'd have 2nd thoughts if asked to go back again anw hahahaha. ok i'm gonna meet jen in 7 1/2hrs for lit 'tuition' but i'm still awake. bad me

tricia just made me excited for sch/

hello. have a blessed merry christmas! :) i spent christmas eve eve by:
watching the process of braces putting (it was fascinating for the first 1hr only)
making a haste decision and cutting my hair
then i had to run some family errands

i spent christmas eve by:
going for chem tuition (it was super enriching as usual:) love it)
listening to a stranger spread the gospel (i was really touched by him. God bless him)
swimming 3k(i stopped at lap30 to go hot water. then at lap48 i stopped again cos apparently._. there was lightning. then i chionged the last 12laps. i feel accomplished :) heh. ya heck. i didnt do any work.)
going to ahma's house for christmas celebration and getting vodka forced down(it's legal in my family)

christmas:
i didnt go church :(
we went ywca for daddy's bday celebration lunch (i secretly booked the WHOLE restaurant for 1/2hr of peace and privacy then we decided to allow the others to come in. we stayed for the whole time buffet was available and messed up the whole place. i hired two personal waiters to clean our table every 15min so it was ok)
i'm back home and i'm gonna do work now. (wonderful way of spending christmas)
we're going to orchard later. (gonna be surrounded with maniacs jumping and screaming all over like they're a stage above e drunken stage. sorry but i get disgusted at that sight)
gosh the bbq smoke over at my neighbour's place is choking up my lungs and making me sneeze.

ok i'm bored. work time! oh btw for those people who arent me, i didnt book the restaurant. it was like barren land when we entered. and the waitors had nth to do(i presume) so they kept coming to clean our table.

Are you passing through a testing,
Is your pillow wet with ears?
Do you wonder what the reason.
Why it seems God never hears?
Why it is you have no answer
To your oft-repeated plea.
Why the heaven still is leaden
As you wait on bended knee?

Do you wonder as you suffer,
Whether God does understand,
And if so, why He ignores you,
Fails to hold you in His hand?
Do black doubts creep in, assail you.
Fears without, and fears within,
Till your brave heart almost falters
And gives way to deadly sin?

All God's testing have a purpose --
Some day you'll see the light.
All He asks is that you trust Him.
Walk by faith and not by sight.
Do not fear when doubts beset you,
Just remember -- He is near;
He will never, never leave you,
He will always always hear.

Faithful is He who has promised,
He will never let you fall.
Daily will the strength be given
Strength for each and strength for all.
He will gladly give you peace,
Till your tired and weary body
Finds its blessed, glad release.

When the darkened veil is lifted,
Then, dear heart, you'll understand
Why it is you had to suffer.
Why you could not feel His hand
Giving strength when it was needed,
Giving power and peace within
Giving joy through tears and trial,
Giving victory over sin.

So till then just keep on trusting,
Through the sunshine and the rain
Through the tears and through the heart-aches,
Through the smiles and through the pain --
Knowing that our Father watches,
Knowing daily strength He'll give,
Victory for each passing hour,
This is life, so let us live!

- John E. Zoller


i just went to cut my hair and i look like a little kid. my sister just went to put on braces. and the taxi driver thought we WERE TWINS. ??!?!?! i'm SO 3yrs older than her. and the hairdresser thought we were friends. gaaah. how am i gonna face my team!! eeee so embarrasing =/

today's trg was cool. i went there at abt 1.50pm and received so many smses and calls. 'where to meet?' 'are we still having trg?' etc ETC. so, sorry if i sounded pissed with any of you.

i was quite @#(@ when mr q said trg was 15 20 15. haha first 15 was okay as usual.. just that at one point of time when i wanted to make more way for the rest, i ran on the soccer nets thinking it wasn't dangerous. boy were the nets vicious. they tripped me. my left leg was tangled up so my quad was overly stretched. then my right leg lunged forward to gain balance with my palms sprawled on the ground. gosh the impact on my quadS! but it was good i guess. the left quad's pain overcame the one on my usual quad so i could run. it was so heart warming though. i heard at least a thousands 'oh no, are you ok?'. i was on the verge of laughing and had so many people concerned abt me. aww. so i decided to keep quiet in the end. 20 chris was in front with dan and jia. i was next to charissa teo and sheryl and maybe hoiyan. i went all out at the very last sprint so overtook dan at the last part only. i think i need to learn how to endure pain. and i need to raise my threshold level a lot higher.

after trg was the event of the day. with an approximate number of 15 of us crossies, we took mr q's $50 to get a treat at ngee ann canteen. obviously we didnt spend all lah. but it was fun. and longan with ice jelly is really yummy. and it's only $1. goodness i love longan. after the rest left :(:(, sheryl joy and i went to btp for the nicest kfc chicken i've ever tasted in my life. and everything came in threes :) hahaha. except for the tissues which came in four cos the cashier wanted to join us. lol jk. oh man i think i'm going mad. and i'm seriously gonna miss all these types of trg :(

oh ya. teo said my 'aaw qeh' is getting better yay. hahahaha.
bleh. i just made the worst decision i could ever think of. i told mr q i'd rather train on flat ground instead of terrain at mrr on sat ::: i think i shall go swim again tmr.

YOU GET ONE WISH OF ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR?
i would ask for my quad pain to go away forever

WISH FOR 6 MORE WISHES:
discipline
perseverance
for God to tell me where to head after o's soon
go overseas with my family (e last time was in k2 ._.)
um haiyar world peace lah world peace :)
to be the best i can be as a capt for my last 4 mths.
(i think my 'wishes' are more like goals for the new yr)

WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE?
horse! they're so carefree :) and they run fast

SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO IN YOUR LIFE:
do a tri (whatever the spelling); run round spore once. sounds fun

ONE SONG YOU COULD LISTEN TO OVER AND OVER AGAIN:
i cant rmb the title

COKE OR PEPSI?
none! both are as bad. gosh

SOMETHING YOU CURRENTLY DESIRE:
to be staying in bukit timah

ONE GOOD DEED YOU'VE DONE LATELY:
uhh. it's actually my way of life :) haha jk. um OH. i ate ben and jerry's ice cream few days ago. it's a good deed to me :D and indirectly to others.

A FUNNY MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE:
cross trainings :)

5 people to do: me me me me me (i dont know what use there is to get my brain to think of who to send this to cos 1. i dont even really wanna know :))

The word became flesh.
Master became servant.
Creator became a man.
Perfection became sin so that old would be new.

Death would be life.
Slave would be heir.
Sorrow would e joy.
And we would be His forever.

(since i rarely get such bad strains, i rarely give up so easily, i nvr felt more lousy etc) i'm gonna blog abt today's trg.

the night before, i was talking to sheryl abt our target timings for 12k. we finally came to a conclusion; i aim for 62(take things slow) , sheryl 62.30. we promised to run and keep pace with together at least for first 8km. i was so fired up by the time we said bye. then at night, God gave me a vision(i think lah) so cannot sleep. wanted to me talk to the team today(had no chance so maybe monday). i only kun at 1.30.

this morning, quad was OKAY! it didnt hurt at all when i walked.i was soo happy yet frustrated(now then only recover =.=) the pain came back anyhow. grr stupid complacent me.

warm up, pain still tolerable lah. then after that dont know what got to me i talked to mrq again and prob showed some uncertainty. so after my 12k khakis left :(:( (you've no idea how demoralising seeing your gang run off and you're still back there) i waited for 7min then together with the 10k people, proceeded to 2 rounds of 1km. cos i was quite new to this 10k grp, (chris and teo mainly in it) i guess in a way it was quite refreshing. two of them pigs kept 'tiff what you doing here. you're e freaking fastest etc etc' it was irritating lah but have to admit it was quite ego boosting. hahaha =P the upslope was bad. downslope..even worse. i decided to keep up with peishan cos i heard that charissa(sec1) usually runs with her. first 1km: 5.50. whoa i thought it was too fast cos chris say they usually do 6+ 7. i think peishan and i can communicate with our yian3shen2. we did a 11.55 for total 2km. i thought 10k can cheat a bit and take a sip before tackling e sicc route. but since peishan didnt drink water i no choice follow her lah. mr q was there too anyway =x so up the slope..happy happy. now in the comfort of my seat, i dont know what happened but i turned back before even hitting the opening of sicc. (what i rmbed) first; i was breathless --gee ISNT THAT NORMAL!??! argh. second; my quad. MY QUAD! hmph.

ok the end.
i'm too angry to continue. anyway just want to ask you guys to please pray for my leg. i really want to start trg again. i promise to do my best at every trg. i promise to always run For Christ.

oh man so cool so cool!!! i'm born on the same day as seb =D gosh do I feel honoured! now i'm gonna celebrate my bday properly and make sure to sing an extra bday song for seb :D

COE'S CAREER

1956: Born, 29 September
1979: Broke three world records in 41 days
1980: 1500m Olympic gold, 800m silver
1984: 1500m Olympic gold, 800m silver
1991: Awarded OBE
1992-1997: Tory MP for Falmouth and Camborne
1997: Private Secretary to Tory leader William Hague
July 2004: Appointed London's 2012 bid leader
London beats Paris to 2012 Games

Seb Coe's gonna be my new inspirer (lance armstrong forever inspiring me)

"If we win I'll carry the flame home, if we lose I'll carry the can."
-Lord Coe

(those who doesn't know who seb coe is,[gosh. you countrybum... haha actually i didnt know who he is till today ] go check up on him! he's worth it ;))

HELLO!!! :D as tiffanys com is dead i shall be blogging on her behalf.
As tiffanys com is dead and her dear fren whom she (and rachel wang) will miss SOOOOOO much is going to spain. So dear fans of tiffanys blog plz go entertain her! and guys can go jiu her now coz she is bored and she wld prob go out wiv u if u ask nicely and pay for all her meals/movies/everything :D [im SO going to get killed for this]

anyway tiffany has a booboo on her leg coz she walk walk walk then see longkang but brain not working so she juz step into the longkang then *ploop* now leg injured. she very sad coz she cannot walk properly therefore cannot run therefore cannot train! the horror the suffering and the pain!!! that reminds me any guy who wants to date her now muz also be prepared to give her a leg massage, do her chores, sort of be her maid! but its worth it since ull end up getting tiffany! very glam dating her one u know

qouting her "i'm super scared i slack now next yr no time to study" therefore i infere tht she is getting influenced by rachwang the queen of mugger :D oh therefore she wld aslo need a smart bf ah

sooooo to sum up all, tiffany is looking for a guy who:
1) can entertain her while paying for everything
2) can massage her poor hurt foot
3) can be her maid
4) can help her in her sch work
oh yah muz be hot and nice and single (very impt) etc.
anyone interested plz submit your application via a sms to tiffany and she will shortlist some b4 it goes into a round of competition where applicants will have to take tiffany on a series of date b4 she choose the one to be her bf or if she decides to reject everyone in the end.

by: shawn [1989 - (once tiffany finds out i wrote this entry)]

it's not my fault we dont go out much ok. i think his words have been instilled(more like drilled) into us; and you can blame no one but yourself. i do want to go out for team bonding!! boo. see lah. neither senior nor junior nor retired capt wanna take the initiative so we're gonna have a camp-welcome-farewell party all rojak together. wonderful job done, father duck! :)

standard chartered was great. just that the other 3 a bit serious today =x they dont wanna play with us. aww. danielle was a fun playing companion though :) too bad she had to leave early. we did have fun though; running around with balloons and splashing water at each other before that.

heyy. my mum has a new name for me! (or more like it just dawned to me) JUN!!! okok. i'm going to eat supper with mummy now. (ya that late. i slept for the whoooole afternoon just now man)

i was trying my hardest of my bestest of my ultimatest to go against clarkson's screaming. but alas! it still didnt work. maybe it's those grinning faces of my juniors in front of me... hmmm

guys are so full of themselves. evidently, right in front of the screen, the top girl's score was higher than the top boy's but they still had a defending speech for themselves; which didn't work at all for me. but i just gave in anyway, his muscles were bulging o.O weight lifting. hahahaha. stupid guy. oh, the previous paragraph was abt weight lifting too.

haha i'm such a disgrace to my juniors =P today was REALLY fun though. hahahaha. oh myyy i was mixing ard with 100%pure juniors! with people younger than me. wow and it was exciting. i shall commerate them then, grace lee(the one who keeps competing with me to get a lower score), grace lim(whiner), dan(the FIGHTER. the girl who's pack with MUSCLES) standard chartered doesn't seem so scary anymore :D and and and it's so cool when scuba divers wave at you. but it is super scary. sad tricia had to go home to watch the stupid tong xin yuan.

grace lee's afraid of MR. SOFTEE :) haaha. his arms were so short! hahahaha!

2nd lamp post;
information counter
we had to camp behind everybody just to come up with those words. hahaha literately had to CAMP there lah.

junior vice capt! we just had our fair share of team-bonding eh? :)

Stop telling God how big your storm is;
Instead tell your storm how big your GOD is!

:)

Good is an enemy of great.

(hey i dont ONLY want to be good; i want to be great)

Smart people learn from their mistakes,
Intelligent ones learn from others'.



\\

God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

Lord, please pick your stumbled child up.

i realise that humans generally are bad listeners so i've programmed myself to bottle up. boo it's not my fault!

anyway i feel weird around YOU : it's not you; it's just me. honestly i'm not looking forward to meeting you. i'm scared. it's gonna be sooo awkward when i've nth to say. i hate it. it encourages tension eh

http://www.andiesisle.com/icanonlyimagine.html

It is you alone Lord Jesus who can cause the coldest heart
To find your love and everlasting peace

running has no reason to give me up x)

Tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.

... my brain's thinking too much. i'm tired and stressed out by expectations of others. partly also cos i KNOW they have expectations of me but i cant seem to pinpoint what. why cant you all just tell me what you want of me? i'll change.

was in the midst of a bus transition at dover when this shabbily dressed old man sitting across me caught my eye. after a while, he reached into the head-hole of his shirt and pulled out a name tag that hung loosely around his neck by a string. there was a paper inserted with many wordings but since i was opposite him, i couldnt decipher the seemingly microscopic words. he showed the indian lady in front of him the card. in shock and fear, she ignorantly shook her head and continued looking straight without even turning to look at him. after a few more stops, another chinese lady came and took the seat next to the indian one. again, the old man reached for his tag and approached the lady. she too got a shock and shook her hand irritatingly at him. she jerked her head back a second time to scorn at the state he was in before settling uncomfortably at The Seat.

rejected, the 'se lang'-looking old man sunk deep into his seat.

the bus is approaching dover mrt. i still am looking at that old man, wondering if i'll ever be a 'target' for him to terrorise. oh no...he's reaching for that tag again. shoots don't pick me! please no no please please dont come to me. i'm innocent; God help me! ok hold on. did he just glance at me? ok no, NO. it's just my imagination, right? besides, i'm dressed for trg; how attractive can i be. crap. he's taking a step forward. oh shit shit shit SHIT. he's coming towards me! i'm breaking out in cold sweat. shit what do i do? oh no; God HELP. he stretches out his palm with the tag on top. ok chill. no big deal eh? i'm just gonna read whatever's on it and if he ever does anything funny, hey. i'll just grab the guy's hand next to me =D ok so curiosity overwhelms me and i lean forward to read the card;

Lee Mock Ting*
S8990384K*
23 Dover Road
Blk 34 #094-56
S(573953)*

wow what neat handwriting. ok focus. didnt we just pass that place? no oh no. where's dover?? it sounds flowerly familiar! ok fine i give up this game. "Sorry excuse me..." i say to the lady next to me as i point to the card the guy was holding. "ohh. uncle guo le. uhh di di dao(hokkien for it's there" the lady responses as she points behind. "orh" he grunts as he staggers out of the bus.

haha. ok basically that incident(today)lasted for abt..7min. but that few mins seemed like yrs. and through the few mins i saw how ugly a singaporean can be and how beautiful she can be. i detest that old man's children ... it's just like a dog walking around with its (dog) label. and when he gets lost, others can bring it back to its owner by looking at the address on the tag. ?! what were his kids thinking about?

on to other stuff, we played jigsaw at teo's place! tricia's a 'genuis'. hahaha :)
today's trg was...scary. unexpected. pressurizing.

*they arent true. i did not even look at the words properly actually

today i woke up at --:--am and got a shock! so i quickly played with my brother (couldn't resist), brushed my teeth, bathed and rushed for the bus stop near chij and took 855. oh yes it was raining so i brought along my umbrella! the SIA looking one. then i dropped of at st margs. it was so funny. there was this girl that accidently sat on the wet bench at the bus stop and she said ," shit!" and sat at the bench i was sitting on. who asked her to avoid a girl in mgs uniform. after that, i took (some bus number i forgot) and i had to pay $1 for the fare! my ezlink is negative and i had no other loose change. after alighting at the mgs bus stop, i 'rushed' up the hill cos i was almost 45min late for chinese enrichment lessons! when i entered the lt, the laoshi just gave me a 'haiyoh. why so late' look and asked me to sit down. i sat next to ellen! she's so copycat. but heck. i copied her work too xD i was one of the first few to get my fillintheblanks for the chinese song all right! :D i was so excited but darn; b2&b4 still couldnt be released. we had to watch a super touching movie. so all in all; our hw is:
1)hou gan for the sad show
2)learn that chinese song
3)practise that dialogue thing with partner

after that i left for kap with kara, this super giggly sec1 girl and hannahxiang. macs food nvr tasted better. heh. i sold my drink to joy for $1! no soft drinks for me.....

ok this is getting boring. if teo and chris were here, they'd be hating me :P hahaha. enjoyed reading what i did for the first half of the day? :D haha! okok anyhow i just wanted to say this;

I got recruited into SSKCC!

while going around the classes to extort people of their 50c, i just found out that

scholars are amiable and really nice!

:D they look so quietish. they're super funny =P (i sound so stalker hahaha)

To my secret admirer:
:) hello! tell me who you are so i can love you back. it's no joke to love an anonymous person you know. anyway life has been preeeeetty fine i guess. hmm, pretty caught up with ltc stuff. and ms chau did not scold me when i did not turn up for a meeting cos of my recess. i feel so blessed! she actually 'understood' me :D it's 00.34 now but i'm still awake cos i'm updating you abt my life. but nvm lah..must satisfy my admirer =p umm. aiyah tell me what you want me to update in my blog. i dont know what to say already x) there's chinese stuff tmr though! hope some guy will come and sing again. hahaha you'll understand if you went for the previous chi thing ! :D

(btw, are you valerie chia? haha)

i wish you hadn't tell me
actually, i wish i never did know you

oh NO. i'm getting high. and it's : 8.02 pm! OH NO. and there's trg tmr

oh nonononono

if i were a lion, i'd roar till i go hoarse
if i were a donkey, i'd kick that sickening chicken's butt
if i were a human(which i am), i promise never to fail lit again

i feel like ranting now but. it's pretty useless and SEE i'm wasting precious sleeping time! ..... :( actually know what.(oh no. it's coming) if i do stay back(aka retain) there might be a reason for it? maybe God wants me to live with the sec2s and so it'll be easier for me to bring them back for trg. i was expecting to do pretty well ..though i didnt really study or put in much effort...

SIGH!

Suicide is NOT an option
-to qoute kimchow

you know what

i dont think it's their leaving
neither do i think it's his arrival


i think it's just me.

just face it.

i'm sorry i can't leave up to your expectations.

I Wish You Faith
James N Watkins, Source Unknown

I wish you truth for your decisions,
I wish you doubts to make you sure,
I wish you fear to give you caution,
I wish you courage to keep you pure,
But beyond these hopes and wishes,
One prayer soars high above,
I wish for you my graduate
Faith and Hope and Love.

I wish defeats to make you humble,
I wish success to let you soar,
I wish you tears to make you tender,
I wish you joy and so much more.
For beyond these hopes and wishes,
one prayer soars high above,
I wish for you my graduate
Faith and hope and love.

So as you stand and face tomorrow,
When life gets rough and tough,
There's someone who believes in you
With faith and hope and love.
So I wish for you my graduate
Faith and hope and love.

We wouldn't know the essence of victory till we've tasted failure.

I Wish You Faith
James N Watkins, Source Unknown

I wish you truth for your decisions,
I wish you doubts to make you sure,
I wish you fear to give you caution,
I wish you courage to keep you pure,
But beyond these hopes and wishes,
One prayer soars high above,
I wish for you my graduate
Faith and Hope and Love.

I wish defeats to make you humble,
I wish success to let you soar,
I wish you tears to make you tender,
I wish you joy and so much more.
For beyond these hopes and wishes,
one prayer soars high above,
I wish for you my graduate
Faith and hope and love.

So as you stand and face tomorrow,
When life gets rough and tough,
There's someone who believes in you
With faith and hope and love.
So I wish for you my graduate
Faith and hope and love.

we wouldn't know the flavour of victory till we've tasted failure.

Lord please give me wisdom

(to whichever crossie that has 'that' syndrome)

P.S. I know exams have just ended and you guys are probably feeling ____ (fill in whatever adj. you want) about trg tmr. Do pause for a moment and think about the goal you want to see yourself accomplishing in 2006. ok fine, it ain’t all about results. But I am sure you do have smth you wanna achieve and that is your driving force. Be it making it into the team/ doing a 10km <1hr/ getting tops in your class(or even the level) in 2.4k/etc. there’s no doubt we’ve to work to reach our target. There’s no shortcut in crosscountry so just train your butts off. Complaining to a friend wouldn’t help much. It’ll more like bring down her morale. Look here, you aren’t the only one suffering. The WHOLE team suffers together. The whole team burns under the sun together. Everyone is just as breathless and tired and thirsty as you...Needless to say, including tricia, who’s all the way in front. It’s the weaker ones who take pain negatively and complain; or give up. And no, we’re not like that. Encourage each other and take things positively.

(ok so I’d think you realize somebody did object very violently against having trg this thurs. but it’s just one person ay? So don’t bother finding out who she is. Anyhow, I think the whole team is just like that too, including myself)

Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

WHOSE exams end on tuessssss? ._. i'm free. free. freee. that's wrong.

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."
"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her daughter.
"How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!"
To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!
God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!
God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

aunt came over and somehow we engaged in this 'christian-y' talk. i just found out that:

Jews worship God and God alone.

WE christians worship Jesus, God and the Holyspirit. we believe in the Trinity God (aiyah whatever the right name is lah) Jews DONT worship Jesus! i was so surprised when she told me that. the Jews don't believe that Jesus is the mercier(i dont have my bible and i dont really wanna waste time looking for the correct sp) and apparently they were the ones that crucified Jesus (?!!?) i was appalled. ok cos it suddenly struck me. i probably heard it during church christmas service but...it didn't seem so *$#@)?!*!! at that time. and i dont really wanna condemn myself as a christian that i'm not familiar with e bible.

when i was loaded with all that new info, i was so confused. So Tiffany tan. who have you really been worshipping? what is this all about? who have i been talking to all these while?

There are two days in a week upon which and about which you should never worry about – two carefree days kept sacredly free form fear and apprehension. One of these days is Yesterday. Yesterday, with its cares and frets and pains and aches, all its faults, its mistakes and blunders have passed forever beyond my recall. It was mine; it is God’s.
The other day that I do not worry is Tomorrow. Tomorrow, with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its perils, its large promise and performance, its failures and mistakes, is as far beyond my mastery as its dead sister, Yesterday. Tomorrow is God’s day; it will be mine. There is left, then, for myself but one day in the week – Today. Any person can fight the battles of today. Any woman can carry the burdens of just one day; any man can resist the temptations of today. It is only when we willfully add the burdens of these two awful eternities – Yesterday and Today – such burdens as only the Mighty God can sustain – that we break down.
It isn’t the experience of Today that drives people mad. It is the remorse of what happened Yesterday and fear of what Tomorrow might bring. Those are God’s days – leave them to Him.

i just received my new pair of shoes :) oh sister, the anticipation! it is the best birthday present; ever. gosh, i don't think i ever wanna wear it.

it's so sexy. aah o.O i could stare at it forever. its white flawless laces holding on to my shoe for its dear life. it's enchanting blue curves. it's devious netting covers its tongue and whatever is beneath it that will be too crude if exposed. oh my gdness. its soles are almost perfectly made. one dark blue and one light blue line course through from the top of the sole to the bottom. plus some convexed rubber like thing in the middle adding to the contrast. it is so wonderful positioned that it glistens under lights. it's drop-dead gorgeous.

pity; my shoe will have to take the torture of my unworthy feet. wearing those luxurious stuff make my flaws fade away. i think i shall prepare myself for the worst-plunging through the endless mud-saturated puddles in macritchie:( mind me if i scream cos it hurts me to see my 2nd love(1st earthlyposession love is my first pair of asics shoes :)) drenched with filthed. i'm gonna show off my new love tmr! shall wear it to church and boast it to the world :D

friday(30/9)
breakfast - apple
lunch - curry puff, 3 slices of cheese pizza
dinner - nth

sat(1/10)
breakfast - 2 small bananas
lunch - 1/2 a plate of fried rice (i tried to force eat but couldnt!?)
dinner - nth at the moment

i'm not on a diet nor am i trying to lose weight. gahh. i just have no appetite to eat >:( and i dont even feel hungry. i'm getting into those depression unhungry periods again. i think i shall attempt to eat now. oh wait. maybe i ask my shoe for a date. it'll def. improve my appetite :D sorry for my mindless obession. my shoes are so -sizzle- hot =P

just a short post, if i blast myself off at you or give you snappy replies, ignore me. dont get affected or OFFENDED by it. really. either you're being really irritating or stupid(aka asking stupid qns) cos

firstly, i've decided to begin serious studying! xD so i'm getting more intellectual and can't really associate myself with childish things anymore.

secondly, my social life has been greatly destructed resulting my socialising skills to deteriorate tremendously

thirdly, my life is so screwed now (gosh i sound so sec1). i'm getting into those myliferevolvesardmybooksandi mood.

so, i'm not gonna curse myself if i find myself speaking less to people. or if i'm becoming more hostile. wait till after exams lah ok.

sorry i cant be purrrfect(his pronounciation damn good ah) dont blame me; blame MOE :)

oh yesohyes. happy 15th birthday meloser!
happy onedayearly birthday to me :D
happy twodaysearly birthday to russ and yuliang
happy threedaysearly birthday to kelong kia aka celestine!

Keep Swimming

Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl. One was an optimistic soul.But the other took the gloomy view."We'll drown," he lamented without much ado,and with a last despairing cry,he flung up his legs and said, "Goodbye."

Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin,"I can't get out but I won't give in, I'll just swim around till my strength is spent, then I'll die the more content."Bravely he swam to work his scheme,and his struggles began to churn the cream.
The more he swam, his legs a flutter,the more the cream turned into butter.On top of the butter at last he stopped,and out of the bowl he gaily hopped.

that's how i'd want all my 12 chosen members to run in the cross country race next yr.

oh yeah, just wanna encourage anyone of you out there. if you feel that God isn't answering your prayers though it's very important like...getting a revival of His spirit or smth, dont give up! :) i had to wait for close to two yrs to get one persistant long-awaited prayer answered. the waiting was worthwhile. and i'm kinda, no, VERY glad God made me wait so long for the answer...though it was just a 'yes'. haha :)

i'm not feeling stressed but am just feeling very sick. especially during school...so maybe i might seem a bit frustrated over my work etc.

but anyway

sorry yvonne for snapping at you today. i felt really really really bad after that (though i played murderer with the rest soon after =x) i was very stressed over my LOST CHINESE PAPER =( cos i really did it! but i cant seem to find it anywhere in my file. even mel pok helped me mess up my whole file but to no avail. and when you suddenly came to me and told me that 'we dont have to do cip journal' i absentmindedly flared up. this was my first time losing control of my temper. i know i'm a very angry person inside and i know how to control it very well. i dont know what got into me today to lose my cool. i know a mere 'ah whatever lah' 3 word phrase may seem nothing from another person but i know very well myself i dont 'whatever' people. therefore, i'm really apologetic about today. (i know a lot of things eh =P) few nights ago, i already explained it to you i was talking about the other part of cip ! about writing a journal as a concerned friend/parent/etc. maybe you didn't read the qn paper well enough so you tried to argue back your point. but i had my paper right in front of me and told you the exact heading (lah). you just prob got confused. but anyhow. i just hope you forgive me.

on another note, DAMN IT. i forgot to find laoshi to get the paper and re do! now she's gonna hate me. and kou wu fen from my test!!!!!!!!! hope revision's been going fine for you guys cos it's not for me. wanna share with those non-b2 pple about this really nice passage the math king shared with us today:

Lord, grant me the right attitude towards my examination,
That even when I study, I want to glorify your name.

Give me the strength that i may press on,
Perseverance that I may endure,
Good health that i amy study effectively.
Help me to be single minded when I study,
Remove all other thoughts, distractions and anxieties.
Give me the power to concentrate,
the abiblity to understand and to remember.
Show me the way to study intelligently,
To know what is important and what is not.
Provide me Lord with quality time in my studies,
Remove all tension and fears within me.
Fill me with Thy confidence,
teach me to draw strength from you each day.
Let me learn to trust You in such times.

In the examination hall, be with me Lord.
Grant me the clarity and sharpness of thoughts
Let me not get distracted by things around me.
Give me concentration and calmness Lord.
Help me to gather the thoughts of what I've learnt.
Grant me discipline to space out time equally for all questions.
Most of all, help me to complete the question on time.

Despite examination Lord, continue to grant me quality time with You,
Let me not neglect You
Give me a balance diet between my studies and my services to You
I just want to commit the whole examination into Your hands,
Knowing that you are a God who cares and ansewrs prayers.
Thank You, In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and Saviour,
Amen.

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

Footprints
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."


"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."
Albert Einstein

what the ..?! Mr Einstein, are you not contradicting yourself RELATIVELY too much? what about your 'mind-boggling' rules of relativity? Mr Newton's laws are already as simple as it is for us to understand. people do remember that quote of us and yet you twisted all of Newton's easy to understand laws. bah. Einstein, you win.

(i do sleep well. i eat well...take fruits. everything. but i still woke up this morning with A COUGH. the phloegms(i nvr got the spelling right) stuck in my throat taste VERY weird. and I'VE A RACE TMR! :( i do hope my oral examiner(forgot her name) likes low voices :D =x

yay hello slackers. pls remind me to study if you see me online after this sun and shoo me off :D i think i'm gonna destruct my already destructed social life and study :) 12/10 12/10. yay. i'm gonna aim a MSG of b3 for end of this term! pray for me :D

aaah. i just got my first treat on thurs! he didnt have any loose change with him when i asked as his only possesion then was his cashcard. so he just passed me his drink and got another one! bad thing is...i think i forgot to say 'thankyou' . i was so excited over that free $1.10 1ooplus drink. i know i shldnt accept things from strangers but i was DESPERATE. plus i wasnt alone. he couldnt have done anything to me. also i'm taller than him and i could easily punch him back. hahahaha. ok TRAINING TMR X_X

"I am going to ask you to make that decision for Jesus right now. You need to humble yourself, repent and ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior. Please kneel right where you are. Can you sense God calling you right now? Is your heart pounding? You may have been baptized or confirmed, but something inside you is saying, "Be sure." Perhaps you have strayed from God and need to rededicate your life to Jesus now. Would you rather go to be with God or the lake of fire? You have that choice right now. God wants you to receive the gift of eternal life. Are you sure there is not a sin, there is nothing that stands between you and God? But you may know there is. The Bible tells us THERE IS A WAY WHICH SEEMETH RIGHT UNTO A MAN, BUT THE END THEREOF ARE THE WAYS OF DEATH. Jesus wants you to KNOW HIM, to have a personal relationship with Him. It’s not a matter of whether you think you know Jesus, but does Jesus know you?"

http://tseruey.blogpsot.com/

go check out this web sometime. it's like a sermon on the net and you can pause it anytime you want. it's very powerful and because it's on text, you can read through a certain line over and over. somehow, you realise that every sunday, you listen to propaganda regarding our religion, christianity. not that i'm against it or anything.

when i took my first step out of you
i thought i'd never think of you again
i thought i'd be happy and carefree
i thought my life would be saved from you

but now
memories of the times we had are revived
the laughter we shared
the tears we shed

all this time, i thought i could do without you
i wanted to be an independent individual
in this fast moving society
but i guess my life will not be complete without you

i miss turf city :(

thank you mgcrossie seniors for the memories so cherishable that i will treasure for a really long time. it is what you guys are made of that makes the team and it is definately the best team one could ever wish for in cross.

esp to rach, thanks for teaching me so many lessons as to how to lead the team. the initiative 'lil talks' we had... thanks.

some stuff to ponder over

I will say this about being an optimist; even when things don't turn out well, you are certain they will get better.
Frank Huhges

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

He wanted to have a steady career
She wanted to provide for her family
He is materialistic
She is sentimental

So different were the two of them
Yet they decided to give it a shot
Yea, a shot indeed
Piercing through their hearts

She lays helplessly on the floor
With him standing tall so arrogantly, not giving a shit about her
Abandoned, she wonders whether he'll ever turn back
But they've gone so far there's no turning back


mind my explicit lang. fuck the material things in this world and all materialistic pple. go to hell. yeah go ahead. strip me off my prefect student leader etc posts. kick me out of mg. what's the use of all these bloody stress. at the end of 10yrs i'll just get an O level cert, just like the rest, with only our sch names different. maybe mgs girls dont really seem to be having it down cos they will marry rich ac guys and live happily ever after. or prob the girl will be tortured interally. accidently seeing her richachusband at the bar making out with another freak. and when he goes home, he hurls violent curses at her just cos he lost a deal with some major bastard which can honour him with his next million bucks of his life.

get a life guys. money isn't the only thing in the world. there's still God to look up to; a wife, or girlfriend in this case, that is always by your side whenever you need her. all you guys want is just to earn loads of cash. but reconsider. what the hell ever for? you're here on this earth to live for God. ok yeah it's true God put us here to give us a choice of whether we want to follow him or not. fine then. go down the dark path and get obsessed with all the materialistic things in this world. and when you die and go to hell, my goodness. why isnt your car, bungalow or even your 6million bucks with you? i'm gonna follow him all the way though i dont even know if He exists. it's called faith.

ah whatever. i just cant wait to die and meet God. i've loads of qns to ask him.

(sorry to anybody that i have offended through this post. i'm just not myself tonight. let's just hope that when i wake up tmr, i'll forget all that has happened. and i'll be naive enough to let this deception of me having a perfect life seep into my brain. i'm genuinely apologetic abt this post. sorry God, sorry world, sorry tiffany.

Is 'Stress' very evidently written all over my face?

You mean, even if i brisk walk pass you along the corriders, you are overwhelmed by the saturated aura of 'Stress'?

oh my. i think i better self-ostracize myself!

today's
trg
sucked.

sucked real bad. even worse that LG's super good vacuum cleaner. baaah. you (more like i) realised i didnt post anything abt the 4th mth since natls on 13/8. that's cos I FINALLY GOT OVER MY LOUSY PERFORMANCE.(it's not the third runners up i'm sad abt. cos i'm happy we hit our target! but my performance..like lausai like that.)well, that's what i thought.

since teo and i had to do cip at mt alvernia(it's such a friendly place :)), we had to run alone and watch the rest of the team happily run back. and since she was listening to her (stupid) mp3 or whatever you call that thing, i could only talk to myself. and coincidentally, my stupid brain has to think abt nationals. prob cos i had menstrual cramps(I NVR DID HAVE THAT BEFORE OK) which has the same pain i had during natls05. it worsen my pace even more. arrghh :(

this burden weighing me down is like a gold bar with its chains entangled to my ankles.(i think abt natls, i cant concentrate on what i'm doing. if it's studying or running or even playing) i did relatively well(who am i to kid with. it was shit.) and shld be proud of my timing. there were others whose timing went way off but at least i didnt deprove in terms of my position. yet i persist on looking at the negative side of it; i could have done so much better. i keep telling myself to let go. there's always a next yr and we're gonna make it. but tiffany chooses to hold on to that burden which affects her training a lot(yeah i think a lot while runs) even when she chooses to release and relax a little, its chains will still cling on.

i think i need psychological help.

firstly, happy birthday annabelle. the person who thought i had a bad memory. talk abt yourself. xP

I was just a mere girl then
My first terrifying task of leading stretching
Gave me everything now i have at hand
At that moment life ahead seemed very promising

It was commemorated first with our trademark floorball
Running and playing, giving it our all
Everybody was so concentrated on the game
But i was distracted by my new name

No one told me the journey would be easy
Nor did anyone tell me it would be tough
However once i was bestowed upon full captaincy
My workload doubled, tripled... never once halved

I never knew leading took upon such a huge responsibility
Even more so, looking at the others before me
It all used to be giggles and child play
Now, "Mary, stop talking so loudly ok"

From the forkless and plateless birthday party
To sleep-less, proposals-more Sports Carnival related nights
From morning meetings which pissed everybody off
To our successful National Day stall

From collaboration of shirt design with anonymous people
To collaboration with the canteen auntie for bananas
From our fun run at Bedok reservoir
To our unprepared sec4farewell...

I tell you, these events never cease to end
Neither would my passion for mgx
For me, God has installed a plan
To lead this team to greater heights

ok i know i've not been blogging for long(i think). fingers a bit itchy. anyhow, to a nonsensical person, i dedicate this nonsensical thingy to her(it's not fit enough to be called a poem). happy 1yr anniversary to your captainhood tiffany. plus 50 min. few more mths to endure! (YAY) :) hahaha nah. this team is great to lead

i had the best trg ever yet since natls05! oh maaaan. i shall elaborate another day but suddenly chi high pple dont seem too bad to me anymore :) yay. throughout my running life span of 3yrs, he (an anon chinese high runner) is the third external person to help me during the workout. aaah. i actually broke the 19min barrier! and i never ever thought i could do that ._. seriously. ok besides the fact i slacked to sicc with a 21.37. aah. and it's not even the peakingperiod yet. oh maaan i'm still floating on overflowing joy :D go figure that. i guess the next time that wonderful sensation can fill me once more is to get that hwachongi guy to come from the back again, breathe down my neck 'impersonating sheryl/danielle/mr quek' and push me. thank you Lord for nice chinese high guys.

ok i sound weird. that sounded totally wrong.

but no other guy has ever ran around my speed.(maybe he was slacking ._. heck.) they just speed up upon seeing me. grrr competitive sexist pigs.

i borrowed michelle's Purpose Driven Life book since perth trip and i've yet to return it back to her since. i've only read 6 chpts out of the 40chpts =x i hope she doesn't come here. anyhow, the last time i touched that book was, hmm, one month ago. and suddenly out of the blue, i, absentmindedly, took the book from my shelf and instinctively read it. wanna share with whoever out there a really amazing philosophy that's pretty duh yet why didnt i think of it.

"The fact that earth is not our ultimate home explains why, as followers of Jesus, we experience difficulty, sorrow and rejection in this world. It also explains why some of God's promises seem unfulfilled, some prayers unanswered, and some circumstances unfair.

This is not the end of the story.

In order to keep us from becoming too attached to earth, God allows us to feel a sig. amt. of discontent and dissatisfaction in life--longings that will never be fulfilled on (?) this side of eternity.

Earth is not our final home; we were created for something much better."

Found it really appropriate for a student like me, or for anybody for that matter. It fits perfectly into the hole full of doubts on why i am going through all a typical studentcrossie goes through. I've always wondered why when i'm under intensed pressure and stress, God isn't here to bring me out of it. Isn't He supposed to keep me from all harm (yes stress is harmful =P)?

This scenerio of a stressful life is probably rolling at every MG girl's life. To comfort ourselves, from a christian perspective, we say that "When God brings us to it, He'll bring us through it." Yes, He's preparing us for our real home like that and also, He doesn't want us to get too attached to earth, a "temporary residence", since we're here "for just a little while" only.

"ife is like a mist, a fast runner, a breath, a wisp of smoke."

Resource: Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Chapter six: Life is a temporary assignment

i'm dreading chem tuition tmr. i've not done my sincejuneholsdued assignment and i think i'm the only one left! even the guys has handed it up. (omitting the fact that there're very few of them and they ALL are super guai)

training tmr at mrc. hmmm =/

happy 40th national birthday! :)

(in corresponse to the enthusiastic liz. you're the 1s girl right?)

mum was driving aimlessly. 'medical history' was revived back.
it'll be great to meet Him earlier
it'll be wonderful then i wouldn't have to study or (train) or stress anymore
life will just be marvelous praising him day and day

but the thought of it makes my heart ache.
i mean i nvr know when i'll leave
it kept attacking me and there's nothing wrong in my body the doc can find fault with
this might happen one day and my eyes will nvr see e earthly wonders anymore
........... SEE. i'm not making any sense

i think God is trying to tell me to appreciate my life more
and make PROPER use of it . yes

just an easy childish meaningful song to be brought forth

Jesus loves me, this i know
For the bible tells me so
Little ones who Him he loves(i nvr figured what that last word was)
They are weak but He is strong

so little were we when we learnt this song about God's assured love. and now 10 yrs down the road, you start doubting him. i see the 'brainwashing' back then wasn't really good eh?

(i'm feeling dead, literately)

i dont like that false front i put in front of -
boo ._.

it always happens to me. i finally get the opportunity to talk to my close friend after so long. all i want to do is just talk and talk and catch up. but i get lost in my pool of my thoughts and have nothing to say.

i hate that feeling.

i dont think i deserve the role as a prefect. or prefect trainee as you'd call it. i'm not doing anything right as one besides dutifully going down for assembly on time and patrolling the general office area guai-ly. but that's with a bunch of other people.

i'm so going to fail emath. ARGH my a1. damn it. i was so confident before the test to get at least 77.5%. from then i understood how impt a 5 min can be. just give me 5 min. and i'd be able to secure my a1. gee. it's super sad. #@*(#&@ ARRGH. screw the table (=/)

trg on monday was good. just that my timings were way off(1 min slower than usual? lol) my aim that day was just to finish the workout without walking. coach was running with me quite a fair bit and discussed abt the team. and truthfully, with his presence, i could run much better. just like how i'd be motivated to run faster with mr ng around. or with any other teammate beside me actually. (just realised i've not ran with anybody at mr for quite some time) when mr q left me to run on my own, i drastically slowed down. i was thinking, if i get inspired merely by my coach's presence, what more God's? he's by my side everytime including now. so i visualised an imaginery person beside me and began talking to God mentally. (it's so much easier actually) it was difficult at first but when i was getting the hang of it and started opening up, mr quek came back. and opening up was so much easier. my aim for the next run will be talking to God throughout the route. wheee

thinking abt yesterday night brings back happy memories. i was at the beginning of my revision for today's emath test and i dont know what got to me; i brought the scissors i already was playing with to the toilet and started snipping my hair all over. so now my hair is super messy and layered. ahahha. it's quite funny. i shall take it that it was an act of impulsion due to stress. i must admit i like my new hair though. lol ok it still looks the same but knowing that you 'cut' your own hairstyle out(i didnt do much to it),brings a sense of accomplishment. my head will swell if someone compliments my hair. haha!

all the best for elective tmr! i shall aim to fail. if i fail, yay i hit my target. if i dont hit my aim, YAY i passed!

rachel wang asked me to update.

today's speaker was good. he spoke from the heart and clearly the words he spoke were of God's.

Prayer is
Seeing what God sees
Hearing what God says
Doing what God would do
And --- (i forgot)

God is a friend of yours, but will you be a friend of His?
being a friend of God is not only asking him for this and that but hearing what he has to say to us.
being a friend is having a two way relationship. yes, you talk to him. but you have to let him talk too.
being a friend means confiding in each other. God wants to confide in us and that is prayer.
being a friend requires trust from both sides.

that was just a small part of what i've learnt. and comparing what i retained in my mind to the other things he said, they're, yea, just a small part. i guess my brain isn't some powerful tool that can rmb everything.

thank you (God) for bringing this man to our church. i pray that he'll be able to come back soon to preach your word to us again.

Aiming to lead a purposeful week for the Lord
(one week down the lane, i'd be here again recounting the past week. i hope i dont disappoint myself, esp the Lord-my best friend)

[oh yeah. i wanna add one more reason to the long list for my screwing up of natls 05. it was a difficult transition from cdiv to bdiv. the people were more competitive and i was with charissa at the beginning. it was qutie difficult. cos i was focusing more on her rather than the race in front of me. and i TALKED to her at abt the 400m mark.)

Phillipians 3:13
"Forgetting what lies behind and straining towards what is ahead."

i'm gonna leave my ugly past and start fresh anew for this new exciting coming week that God has installed for me. care to embark this wonderful journey with me?

crap. he DID note the timing. but he knows hotmail.com can get quite screwed =x just that it isn't.

yay tmr's sat! :D :D :D can't wait can't waaaaaaaait

oh maan. i can't express my anxiety here on this blog nor in person. i think i
am
FALLING SICK =/
oh no. ohno.
~he's gonna KILL me.

pls pray for me! i still have a bright future ahead of me and deserve more yrs here on earth.

told you rach, it's short :)
ok i think i'm super smart. i sent an email to mrquek at 12 plus! i hope when he reads the email, he doesnt take note of the time **** haha

continue training hard guys!

third session and we've made our debut
it's a record eh lol
focus during training ah ! :)

i'm making my presence felt. gonna do lit essay if the ling gan comes later. it has not been making its daily visits since 2 wks ago. anyway talk to me! my tagboard is so dead :(

today's trg
was.very.
no.super.
no.ultra.
DIRTY
o.O


AAAAAH that's so cool! there's the do re mi thing up there on that short //graph :D ok maybe it's mi re do. one thing bad abt being a senior is that you can't complain abt a tough workout or if there're more strengthenings to do. or maybe u can =/ anyhow, i did complain. waliaoo. the lunges were killer. or maybe it's my shoe. naughty shoe. i'm gonna chuck you aside now for you to rot. muahahha. i'm getting NEW SHOES :P:P:P wheeeeeeeee. i'm SO excited. i'm gonna look SO cool in it. asics :) no wait. i am naturally cool. the water at macritchie is super nice.very refreshing. or maybe cos i was(am) hot so the normaltemp. water felt so cooling.

i think this smile :) is so bimbo. hahaha. and this XD or x) is so fake. arggh. (: looks manipulated. what else. =) looks so pri sch.(by now, i think you can tell i'm quite high. cos there's physics test tmr? ahahahha. i've not studied)

OHYES. my sis said she's 80% coming to cross next yr!! that's if she doesn't make it to the bowling team. so she's confirm coming to cross. i dont know whether to be excited or... ?!?!? arrghh. i kept telling her all the bad stuff abt cross. ahaha. it's so weird to have a sis in cross. dan might beg to differ. but that's cos dav is nice! my sis is so different. she doesn't cling on to me. she ignores me like i'm some stupid senior that her friends adore. then she'll bitch abt me so they wldnt like me. and she cant stand it when her friends 'suck up' to me. or when i call her friends cute. she'll start bitching abt them. sickening. ok guess what. i'm starting to act like my sis. ahahhaa. aiyah it's her decision if she's gonna come to the mgx family or not. it'll be fun anyway :P

"aaAH i did extra squats!"
:never mind. it's free

who ever has met such a coach like that. hahahaha.

thank you ben for your reprimand.
i know you talk like that to me becos we are very close friends and brothers.
sometime we are in the business world for too long that i am doing something what is natural and legal....
it is like knowing how to avoid tax..legally.................
so i have really lost touch with the christian ways that i have hurt a brother's thought unknowing.

still i ask if you could share some of your jevan's needs
and i try to fit in .

God bless you.

ian

----- Original Message -----
From: ben
To: ian

Subject: RE: Re
Dear Ian,

I am very surprised that I always hear from you that you will want me to take funds from your company so that your company income tax will be lesser.
When God gave His only Son for us there was no condition. It was an unconditional love for us. The early Christians gave because they saw something greater in their giving of sharing what God has given to them.

I firmly believe that although I would love to have your investment in this time but if I will to go by your way the Lord will not be pleased.
I would rather that you keep your money and I will seek the Lord for other people to supply the Kingdom needs.
I know that this will cause you to think that I am very cranky. But I believe when God closes one window, He will open another window for His glory and also for me to know Him better.
I am asking you if you want to give that you will give willingly and cheerful out of your own pocket because that is what the Lord requires of.

Thanking you once again for being interested in certain ways,
Ben

*names have been changed

ben's a church helper while ian a businessman who used to be very involved in church too. but backslided a lot due to the sins of this world, money. i find this extract very poignant. it's just so touching to see a mature adult, so successful in his career, realising his mistake; wanting to repent. as a saying goes, you may be very successful in life but you may not have fulfilled your purpose in life.

sorry dad for reading your email ._. it was unintentional with a misclicked of my finger

(dont read it =x)

first impression from afar: an ex proded natl tennis player. retired from the competition field, from his old job. now a retiree with no income, he decides to come mgs to trian the tennis team.

turned out to be my new coach, Mr Quek.

anyway i'm not being mean abt the impression i first got from him. he was so far and all i could see was his yonex bag.

so today was the day. things were going fine in the morning during sch. i wasn't even bothered abt the fact that i didnt study ting xie, again. it seemed that God made special arrangements for me so that i'll have a smooth day; before i met him.

as i said, i was very nervous. even more scared then how i'll feel for a first date. i think i caught it from sheryl; i almost cried when mr ng was talking cos i was really really really scared. and so promptly at 3.30pm, he arrived. interacted for a while then made our way to the pe teacher's room. had some theory work which was really different for me. i thought the graph he drew was really effective. i'm not comparing the two coaches i had but mr quek seems more focused and like the type that will stand firm on his beliefs. you ask him a qn, he'll give you an ans and will stick to it no matter what others say. what he said does 'make sense' :) hahah he's fave phrase. can see he's really passionate abt changing our lifes, for the better.

if he has kids, they are one bunch of really lucky pple. a pity he isnt a christian. i dont know why but i felt so shy in front of him. dont have to tell me. i could tell i was blushing.my face felt so warm when i was talking to him. i dont know if it's sch pressure or what but i was so tensed. the funniest thing was that he thought i wasn't ok when i was actually stoning. he's a very..observant man. he picks up many little details. another thing, he does not use bombastic words, like other speakers, nor raises his voice, like other speakers who try to hard. yet he motivates people well. why you ask. he reasons out whatever he says. when he states a point, he'll support it with evidence. and it are the ones that we can relate to.

training was good. just that we ended quite late. right now, all that is in my mind is something else not abt trg but something along that line

"Even too many good cooks spoil the broth."

i guess as rachwang says, it takes time. i may be one of those slower ones but never mind. that isnt hindering me. i'm going to continue striving hard for my goal and make my mark. yea! rach is a good advisor.

went for acjc guitar ensemble too! with rachlee x) spoke quite a bit to her. we both were complaining abt the _____ of a captain. i guess i'm not the only one feeling it. had a great time with her. it's embarrassing to go for these things with rach. she sings at the wrong time and with the wrong volume too hahahaha. 4s row down and the guy can even hear her.

"Take responsibility for all the vicissitudes of your life. Don't blame others for your misfortunes. It's not:
the system,
the school,
the teachers,
your friends.
It's not your parents.
It is about you."
-Lee Hsien Loong; Prime Minister of Spore(2004- )

stupid friend. just tempted me to go turfcity TO RUN tmr morning. baaah. i could go tmr, climb the highest level and watch the sky. i miss turfcity so much. i miss bdiv05 so so much. i miss the old crossteam so so so much when renuka's batch was still here. i shldnt have taken advantage of her(their) presence. i miss my old innocent self so^4 much.

yes it's true. mr ng has seen it, so does my friends. i've changed so much since sec1. i've came so far since then and there's no turning back. but this responsibility is too much for me to handle in this competitive "me first" society.

i'm looking forward to natls next yr. top 3. can do? top 2 is actually more realistic :) come on mg

cross. with a total number of 22 girls running in bdiv, the competition was a tensed yet relaxing one. top 20 girls will get a prize. so i was preeeetty confident to get one. i was super scared before the race. firstly because it's 3.6km! so i was kinda aiming 16plus, which i missed by 2 sec. 17.01. secondly, i've nvr been to bedok reservoir before. thirdly, i did not even know where the stupid finish line is! there wasn't any indication at all. no one gave any teeny weeny hint. they want to kill us. fourthly, i've not been training and i dont like racing unprepared.

so anyway, jackson bdiv had the minimum no of members:franky, tessa, weixin and me.

reached bedok, happy :) the rain stopped. warm up TWO mins, did a few stretches, got bored, went to the starting line. little did we know the rest were making their way to the starting line as well. starting line=common area. so the teachers decided to start the comp. cant rmb how they started us off. but anyhow, we started running with the c div cheering us. "go ___!" yayaya you guys wanna chase us away to the scary boring woods and make us suffer. lol

at the beginning of the flat route, as usual weilin was in front, widening the gap with every step. tricia and i were next. w one girl at my far left. after i dont know how long, weilin was a little in front, followed by me and the rest followed through. but this 2ndplacestardom didnt last long. jing had to come and break it. to make matters worse, weilin turned back and smiled a 'where were u' face. then jing laughed. yes, she LAUGHED. while running a quicker pace than i was which i was already struggling in. ok so weilin's sprinting partner, jing, caught up and they both proceeded to do their thing, leaving me behind. i decided not to pace them purely for the reason because i'm sane. then uhh aiyah the route was super boring lah. but it's a good racing ground. can chiong all the way. it's just FLAT GROUND for the entire route with puddles here and there due to the passing rain. oh yea there was one time we didnt run on that flat pebbled ground track. it was abt 50m on road. aiyah/i felt i could have caught up with them in front but i didnt want to exert too much and find 1km more ahead of me.

there was one point of time i was practically alone, or so i thought. i heard footsteps behind, hard breathing echoes and an imaginary shadow in front of me. i did not want to be overtaken so i started accelerating, in hope of 'shaking that person off'. but 'she' did not give up. she followed closely behind. i began breathing harder, so did her. i was pushing way beyond what i wanted myself to do and gave up after a while. i slowed down, comforting myself that it's just a pointless competition. but i could still hear the pressurizing footsteps. i was irritated because(aiyah u caught up with me to overtake right. now i'm letting you and u still want to stay behind?!) i dared not turn behind in fear of worsening my breathing difficulty. i started opening up again when i regained back my energy.
then i hit the road.
the sound of the footsteps were gone, suddenly. after plucking up whatever minimal courage i had left, i took a peek behind. there was no one. i had been alone all this while.

skip skip skip skip. finished the race. fooled ard. watched stef and 'piong' try to do a one leg squat. stretched. compared heights with weilin. we're both as tall! but everyone agrees i look taller :P cheryl tay's 1 cm taller than us. so unbelievable haha. boarded e bus. was stopped by mr ng. he made me sit alone in front. wanted to talk to me. i sat there, waited. nth. then he distributed food amongst the pple in front happily, like nth scary is gonna happen though i was trembling at my seat. he kept giving the 'you are so doomed muahahaha' smirk. decided to offer me a 2nd piece before the ~scary thing`^. like my 'last meal(food)' before i die. wait wait wait so long he just sat at the opposite seat and kept quiet. so i slept. turned out he was waiting for the 'right moment'. i wonder when it is.

so now i have to see him before trg tmr, somehow. i got some prefect's duty straight after sch n I NEED FOOD . by the time i'm changed, it's 3.

ok esther. so there. that was what happened during interhousecross :P

(it's not for anybody to read to get an update of my life.
i'm too tired to write in my log book already. aaah legs so shagged)

1.2k, 4:53:97

i shall assume that i'm happy with my timing since i've not been having proper trg. last trg i had with the team was 11th june, mrr. and i also ran alone at queenstown stadium which i wldnt count. so, yes =/ i'm satisfied with my timing. i was aiming for 6min anyway. i didn't expect a 4: 50+ actually. it's so queer. so maybe that's why i'm so neutral abt today. i had the usual 'shit i could have pushed more' after crossing the finish line. but as i said, ah..heck. i always get this feeling when i run according to time :/ at least i sped up at the last round la. 7 secs. boo. mr ng was so pressurising when we embarked on our last round of the 'for fun' time trial. "come on. keep up if you need to. it's your last round." it wasn't directly to me. i mean all of us wld interprete it differently. for me, i pressumed he was asking me to keep up with the pack in front, who've -.- been trg for the past few wks. oh well, passion. i'd say i caught up with you guys cos i had the hunger for it. it's not cos i'm 'pro'. i wanted to make my first training a success. my desire for a gd timing was far greater than yours. your desire is probably wearing off since it's the dont-know-what-th trg. dont worry guys. dont despair. it's only 1200. it's too short for us lah. besides, we've around 8-9mths to natls? :)

ahhhh. i just love trg. i miss it so much! i'm so glad i'm permantly back in cross now. improve and reach your limits, mgx. expand your capability. let's work as one and help the stumbled up to their feet again. simultaneously, i'm gonna hit the books too, soon. genius&topstudentinelevel in the making(the act that results in something coming to be) good nitos.

oh if you're wondering, i dont write that long for my logbook x)

-.- cck stadium is huge

and for the second time in the yr, thank you ac.
thank you for cheering us on despite the fact that we weren't doing as well as the rest of the ac family.

i don't feel like crossing the barrier going over to the 'greener grass' anymore. acjc does things that are much more commendable than rj. it is the true ac spirit that keeps the sch going, i realise. cheering each other on even with a 2nd. raffles were so quiet when acsi beat them for overall bdiv champ. oh well. we did cheer for them :p indirectly

ok now that natls are over, time to FOCUS on thy faithful books lying at the corner of the table awaiting my golden touch. ok not really. swim natls did not even start for me.

(i dont know whether to be happy for their arrival, or angry)

danielle: anglo chinese girls sounds nice but acgs?! are u nuts. acgs and scgs are so similar! YUCK. no way. next time for easy way out, just shout method method method! la. 3 syllabies 'methodist' too long already. lol. my voice is perfectly fine and yes i DID cheer :) weak throat lah dan, admit it :P

Wouldn't it be nice if the world were crossies
Running everyday would be so fine
(this was the part when we went totally off tune. i'm serious! u listen to the tv ad then our singing see how off lah)
At Turf city, NIE and MacRitchie
With our very nice coach, tommy..
Wouldn't it be nice :)

crossies are so supportive and sporting. i can't wait for social day haha. the crossies that went for trg today will be compelled to go for social day. hahahahah trg today was uber fun. plus studying with joy and the beautiful *gasp* silence.

Things that seems nothing great to you, might mean a lot to another.

heymath test due in close to 27hrs? plus crazy load of work. sorting out sports carnival stuff (thanks squashies for helping us ! :)) and lending a listening ear to everybody who needs one to complain to (i'm not pinpointing any indiv. cos it's def. more than 2) i realise i appreciate my life more like that. haha =/

one question. why didnt anyone think of victoria ng when we were having the first round of prefect elections? she seems to love finding faults with her new unexperienced fresh-blooded prefect trainee in b2.

baah. i'm gonna clip my hair like siao tmr until the clips look like my hair and pull my socks all the way up like a tchs. HA! see if you can spite the trainee again xP (note that tchs doesnt exist anymore so i'm not insulting anyone. besides, there's nth wrong with high socks :))

today's 100m free heats was x_x oh well. at least i only deproved by 1s major =/. chris and marianne got into finals! yay. i wonder when my hands and legs will be able to conjunct with my brain. i can nvr seem to move them as fast as my brain tells them to. people think i'm slacking when i'm actually pushing myself. ok lah. a little. SEE. aiyah there's no sense of urgency. so crap (i'm watching what i say)

i found a new way home from tp! whoo, i feel smart. so excited for swimming tmr! gonna have esther for company hahha. ok it sounds wrong
50 breast tmr. 46. go tiff. (aye it's good enough for a person who cant do 10 proper 'men push ups' who has not been trg who..uh. has some mental prob)

packing my bag for swimming heats tmr. so it means going through the whole day virtually, systematically to see what logistics i'll require. haywired i know, memories from this yr's crosscountry natls were revived.

oooh. i MISS natls. i miss trg. i really miss x trg. i really miss pushing myself to the limit. i ... i.. MISS TRG SO MUCH. wooooo. hahahahha i'm going nuts. and amanda yong is SUPER funny. she gets amused at pple doing push ups. esp the diamond type hahahahha. stupid ashlee simspons. crap. i dont know the correct spelling xD WAHHAHA. ok sleeping time x)

crap. i think in my agony of typing an impressive email, i sent a super cocky-sounding sms to a friend. if you do ever come here, i'm really sorry abt it. i was under so much self pressure i just forgot abt my whole self being of a mere girl in comparison to my father. sorry.

i do know that stress is made by God to mold us into his perfect image but i think i'm breaking under the load it's giving me. oh Lord, please teach me to walk in your ways

superly uberly bubbly stressed now. and just thinking abt the things i have ahead of me...oh man. it makes my head spin. i just want to say thank you to all those people who have been by my side these few days, listening to my complains and just smiling tell me it's alright. some of you guys might think you've not done anything but i feel so relieve just seeing you guys smile. i feel so blessed already having so many friends to complain to. having so many of you all just to listen to me whine and whine. i keep repeating myself cos i'm just trying to let it out and really, thanks everybody. thanks rach for that card too. i love it. ok i've no time to yak anymore. still got 3 zhoujis to do. blah. but anyway, i love you guys. every single one of you :) ohyea, personal note: while i was doing my zhouwen today, (topic: ma ma de shou), i was so stressed cos i didnt know how to continue. suddenly i heard my mum's voice calling out for us. when her voice reached my ears, i was filled with her love for me. i just felt like breaking down and hugging her. imagine the love God has for me.sigh. i want my childhood love with her back. i want my childhood innocence back. i want my childhood level of thinking back, where life is so carefree and i didnt know how to use the &(@*#)@*@ COMPUTER. but u know what. forget it. i'm quite happy with my life.and esp my friends :):) and i'd be super happy after 30th july. WOOHOO. even with exams approaching, life will still rock. after 30th july :D i've been too held up by proposals and more assignments. but there's nth i can do. there's nth no one can do. unless of course, you cancel that event, which is impossible.


"Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and i will give you rest." matt 11:24

i can't wait for 30th july. woooo. i feel so messed up and confused. i've no time to even revise and eoys are in 3 mthss. i've spent so much time on the computer for the past few days i'm so sick of hearing the songs on my computer. oh no. it's 12.40am. and i sense the craziness in rachel erupting. "ploops" HAHA. stupid rach xp

aaaaaaaaaaaah.
sometimes i wish i nvr had my parent's good genes. then i wouldnt be pushed so many responsiblities x_x heh. i'm kidding. i shld be grateful for my talents. yes.

God can't make a loser. Now thanks be to God who always leads us intriumph in Christ. 2 Corinthians 2:14

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box

"There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil, "Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be."

"One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand.""
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil."
"Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make."
"Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside."
"And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write."

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.
Two: You will experience painful sharpening from time to time by going through various problems in life, but you'll need them to become a stronger person.
Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make. Learn from it, and correct them.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.
And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish. Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change. You can and I know you will !