:))

Alix was sharing how he had 1000 krispy kremes to himself at a meeting.. Making me feel sooo distraughted cos the first time i tried kkremes, we were in melb and it was absolutely fantastic. 

Anywyz, to make things easy, he popped by after his meeting and presented me w a box of 6!! :'))) double surprise surprise. What a darling. I cldnt stop hugging him.. Hahaha.. He said 'im not your toy. Stop hugging me like im one' 

:) youre such a sweetheart

ultimately, im grateful to God for putting him in my life.

anyway, have no idea why i'm still up at this timing... confirm ggxx tmr :( was so, so tired at trng this evening too! was like a zombie. zzz, why am i still awake now, haha this is so unhealthy :( did a bit of research on the cafe scene in singapore though; there are sooo many unexplored cafes here!

ok i dont know where i'm going with this.

actually intended to wake up at 7, prepare bfast for alix and pass it to him while we cross paths otw to work (we actly hv the potential to meet every morning but ,that's too much).

maybe a reason that we two are so tired is because we have nothing to look forward to. or maybe i'm thinking too much

i look forward to the weekends but every time they come, i'm reminded that it's 7days closer to year end. this is too fast. ...

ok sleep.

Feeling so lousy 

woke up feeling listless and empty, wondering whether i made a wrong decision of commitment. Then, im brought to the realisation, life isnt only about that. That isn't the thing that will solely bring fulfilment in your life. You cant put the weight of a life purpose on another flawed being

Like a quote i once read, if you love a flower, you dont pluck it and want to stash it in your pocket-for if you do so, the flower dies. You admire it from a distance, shower it with water and sunshine. You sing to it, smile, love it. Don't possess it. Choose your flower wisely

this is so unhealthy :( dno if i can take things in the long run...

so sad to think that this is happening merely one week after my bday... :( after a magical time spent tgt. guess that is the key word, magic. it doesnt exist.. :/

'can we just end this phone call now'

ouch..

saw some unwanted stuff on the phone (then, would i rather be in denial?) and made me get into a totally insecure fit. overall, don't think that i'm being insecure... maybe i'm just different, have different standards and expectations. told him that we should sit down one day, once and for all, to discuss where we see this going.

had a terrible dream last night because of this... (in fact, i do have a lot of nightmares of our relationship because i feel that its so unstable). dreamt that he became super aloof and unfeeling towards me. i kept clinging on, following him wherever he went, and hugged him so tight when i didn't know what else to do. like trying to grasp and hold onto what isn't mine anymore... when instead i should have known to let go something so fleeting.

it was such a terrible dream... :( left me feeling so horrible... woke up this morning feeling like crap.