cos i'm so prideful, i initially took things very very negatively. was stubborn as hell not to listen to what he said and dismiss his words as insults (which i did feel insulted by... but lets just look past that because 'if there are many ways to interpret what i say, i mean it in the least harmful way ever'). but odd was so patient and soft with his tone, as compared to his initial harsher one, that i felt that i had to stop looking inward and look at him. am still so embarrassed by what happened to me that he had to offer his help but .i'm very grateful for odd.

when i looked at his face, a phrase he once said to me flashed across my mind:

'but i'm still here after all these while, am i not.'

not said lovingly as he was very frustrated with me then... but the way he said it made me realise how fortunate i am. that no matter what wrong i've done/i'd do in my life, this is one person that should not be a part of that.

ytd, fangka and i chanced upon a youtube video titled (something like) : tyra banks losing her cool on antm. the scenario was as such: a girl was kicked out of antm and gng ard giving her goodbye hugs. instead of the crying, defeated stance that kicked-out-girls usually display, she was cracking jokes in an obvious attempt to ease the tense situation. tyra was watching all the while and couldnt take that the girl didnt seem upset. she called her back to the stage and told her that she was disappointed. the girl spoke up in defence which angered tyra so much that she said :

the way i am shouting at you right now is like how my mother would shout at me. because she loves me; because she knows that i am capable of much more. we (the judging panal) were all rooting for you. dont give me crap about things not being in your favour. if you wanted this, you should have worked for it ,hard. then you'd succeed. the only reason you failed is because you didnt put your heart in this. we all know you are capable.  you only have yourself to blame.

was struck by the video cos firstly, cmon admit it: a person behaving out of anger is hilaaarioussss. we dont know what humour is present but the words,actions, posture employed...just so ridiculously funny. secondly, tyra struck me as someone who'd never lose her cool. thirdly, that scene was impromptu and the speech she gave was brilliant. so logical and meaningful and well put ... ok yknow what, just watch the video.