http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn9XKSQ6YIA

ow.

who wants jc stuff???physics chem math econs !!?! and sec4 books too, i still have them =/

yknow.. I'm so bored nowadays that I get tired and fall asleep rather often. Which i obviously try to avoid because not being able to sleep and lying in bed at night for 3 hrs can be extremely tormenting. And mind you, I am not stoning then. I remember sharing with some friends that when i get home after jc school, i'm so tired to do anything i'd lie on the bed (or floor when i feel extremely sweating and gross) for 1-2hrs staring at the ceiling. it was like therapy for me.

now it's a no choice.
OMGGGGGGGG #(@*)(@#* somebody give me something to do. somebody give me some life.

i really miss running so much. but i was running for something then. now it's just me and my passion. but this passion isn't self driven, it's.....motivated by a greater good ( hah ). friends who are more than friends. teammates. okay it's not entirely because of them. but it's initiated by the idea of that. you know what i mean? like one thing leading to another. now at this point of time, i find that 'slippery slope arguments' actually might hold some truth and concrete in it. cos one thing really might lead to another.no matter how random it is. then again, it ain't random, yes? who are we to judge.for all we know, in a person's mind the links are all in there. just that you are only told the start and end pts. i speak for myself.

as i told someone, i'm suffering from mid life crisis after two days of work. i wake up at 7.45am, send ryan to school. go back home, lay in bed. 930 get up to wash up. (ya i just wore my school jacket over to walk him to school) 10 leave for vivo. 1045 change to the pig shirt. 11 wipe the tables. 12 stand at the entrance and stone. 3 hear a cheery "okay tiffany. see you tmr!"

on monday i went back home, ko for 2 hours, had dinner, go back to sleep
tues, go ahma house, eat. sleep. eat. go home. read the damn boring book. sleep.
i'm like damn good friends with spiderman now. ryan's bedsheet cover.

on wed, to break the monotony i went back for rj openhse. THEN AT 12 I DUTIFULLY LEFT THE COMPANY OF MY TEAMMATES FOR VIVO(for another round of stoning). then i got a call on the way that oh i aint rostered for today. and tomorrow. come back on friday.

wth =.= are you trying to kill me??? i used to think that people bitching about their work lives are so lame. hah i sympathise now. and dude, i'm only part timing! i wanna go back to school............. if not for the free breakfast and friendlyness and nearby-lity.....aiyah i'm going for a change in april. i don't care.okay in april if i can last till that long. ah, this is an obligation.

this is not how i expected my January to be. and...I've stopped getting allowance.i'm only left w 7$. and what, pays only come at the start of the mth right?! AAH.okay i'm stopping.i am so disgusted at myself.

I'm so scared when my phone rings now.

i hate transitions. i hate rjc. i hated it so much i dragged myself to school for the first year. and i forced myself not to let myself be truly happy. then in j2 it got kinda better but .........i need to stop this rant :( regrets regrets...i know it'd get to me. i still rmb the tables and chairs and the naps....mid life crisis.everything will go back to normal when you give me stability, a routine. maybe i'm over-rating this 'mid lifecrsiis' thing but i don't care now.

k i promised to send ryan to school tmr and ask his teacher not to scold him. hurhur. i asked whether he was naughty, he said yes then 'you naughty of course teacher scold lah!?!' "....but. but can you just ask the teacher not to scold me?" you know, just to get into his good books, yeah that's what i'm gna do.

do i sound weird. i'm so pissed off i got scammed by a book summary thing .they talked abt a 43years man who was a runner but everything went downwards after school. (aah wth) he became freaking fat, sister went missing and eventually died. parents died in a car accident. then after all that hype, 'he picked up his bicycle and never stopped...' i gave too much credit to it and thought of it in the literature, got hidden meaning way. but no, it's literally. he cycled from his house to some farm, took a train to los angelos, bought a map and just randomly cycled here and there. okay the only part i'm attracted to is his spontaneity. that's it. because the author is describing the places he go to and the weird boring pple he meets. what the rooster is up with this man?! i'm gna stop at chapter 26/45.

i borrowed another so i'm reading that. on a guy and girl's thoughts in their 7th year of marriage. but they've a kid so it's mostly about parenthood... i heard of this phrase :" if this is your first, your second and third etc will come". it's my first time reading a book halfway and stopping. and it'll be my last. i shall prove that phrase otherwise.

i sound so angst. =/ wtv. i need to rant. but oh yes i need to sleep.

i was very disappointed and discouraged at my first attempt. a salty cake wouldn't suffice as a birthday gift...