after having it hit me so near to home many times, i question whether i have grown used to it, to the idea of death. yet i dont know what to say anymore to those affected. it's like i lost hope in life after that

whoa and last night was damn shit "emo" session man. in school, i let down myself, my friends and my teachers. out of sch, i thought that since i dont do shit, i let down only myself. but last night, it came to light of the many people i have let down this year. esp the ahmas. and i dont know what to do about it...and i dont dare to do anything abt it. like now i just avoid and not go there then i not put it uncomfortable position. but the exact opposite is what i wanted to bring to them. hope, love and concern that may seem neglected to them. :(

and sam. aaaaaaaahhhhh. it is so bad. like maybe i could have done more?could have showed more concern, be more strict with my lifestyle? pray more then God will honour everybody including, ESPECIALLY, her????haha. shit. then i sent her an emo sms at 1am cos i didnt know who else to turn to and i had to voice all my pent up emotions. i really feel like i let her down... like theres a possibility that my failure was brought on to hers also cos i nvr seek forgiveness and cleansing of the soul. hahahaha lol arrrrgh.

what abraham said on the church blog really spoke depth to me. that even if we dont care abt the harm we inflict to ourselves, our actions (to him,sin) affect others also. and that is damn sick. worst punishment to be penalised upon.

i watched liverpool replay against bgham. walao we played damn @#*()! well lah. shitsssss.i dont really have much urge to curse other teams already. i just want us to pick ourselfs up and show the world what we are really worth. we are so much more than it seems.

damn. samantha visting tmr again lol. what am i gng to do :(
at least i can look forward to track trng tmr yay